I've cracked the body language code, folks!

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TheDoctor, thank you for posting some truth, it's truly refreshing to see the unspoken truth pop up now and then in real life.

What you describe is social politics - the interplay of powers, the dominant ones in the group (because they're the fittest, have money, connections, are helpful, are useful), the "weak" ones that depend on them and so shut up when the dominant commit heinous acts towards those they see as potential competitors for dominance of the group.

The problem with those you call "nasty NT" is that they don't simply "dislike" the Aspie. They're terrified of the Aspie exposing them for the garbage they are, and of the Aspie taking their place as a "kinder" ruler. I always say I don't really hate these "nasty NT" types. The ones who determine the outcome are not they, as they're few and depend on their following to survive. The ones I despise are the so-called "weak" followers. They are the ones who make the difference. They are the ones who sustain the "nasty NT" and empower him/her.

Eg: my sister is the "nasty NT" type you describe. My brother is the "weak follower" type you describe. To this day my brother can't understand why I despise him a million times more than I despise my cruellest-of-humans sister. I always tell him it's because she would've gotten NOWHERE without his support. She's sick in the head, so almost excusable. But supporting a madman/madwoman in their inhumanity is the real sin.

Someone above said they can understand the "weak follower" not speaking up, because of the heavy price they'd have to pay with the "nasty NT" and the rest of the group. That's a mistake. The reality is that we all pay a heavy price. The "nasty NT" pays a horrible price by living a limited life totally dependent on their followers, being unable to function in life without them and being enslaved to them, never having a moment of rest from putting up a facade of "ruler". Yes, both the "weak follower" and the dominant depend on each other, enslave each other and make each other's lives miserable.

There is an end to the story - which very few Aspies know - because Aspies are kicked out of ("shunned") before the end of the movie, so they don't see it. The end of the story is that in the end, always, the "nasty NT" runs out of scapegoats and turns against his/her own followers. And this is the heavy price the "weak follower" has to pay. The weak follower starts out feeling great about themselves, "see, I can get along with the nasty NT and keep my place in the group, I'm able to shut up when convenient, I can build a life for myself with support from strong rulers". They're wrong, they don't know they're sitting on an active volcano that will explode under them when they least expect it. You don't make pacts with the "mean" without being a victim of their meanness at some point. It is at this horrible point in the life of the "weak follower" that I receive phonecalls from them practically begging me to be their friend again. So go back to your 9-year old school friend and tell her, if she's not there for you now, you won't be there for her the day she comes bleeding on all fours.

In social politics, NO ONE wins, everyone loses. Beware anyone who tells you that the social rules are there to protect society. It's the biggest lie. Social rules make humans live miserably and die alone.

The truth is neither the "nasty NT" nor the "weak follower" are rich enough to be able to afford an equal relationship of respect. They're too poor to relate to an Aspie.

There are few but wonderful NTs who are spiritually strong and rich enough to be able to afford relating in equality and speaking up in the face of injustice and prevent a bitter end for the other victims and for themselves. I, unfortunately, have never met one.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.

It's the nasty ones that I have a vendetta with. The followers are just sheep. I like to expose them and mess up their little game. Have had quite a few successes too. Just don't expect anyone to side with you. If you take them on your all alone. When it works they really don't know what to do. They are too scared to take you on like they do others as you are likely to embarrassingly exposé them again. I did it at school and had to go full kamakase style hit them hard when they least expect. In adulthood I use a different strategy Play by the rules and catch them breaking the rules.
I have earned respect for this, at school it's a quiet we will leave u alone and not hassle you kind of respect. At work it's more of a thanks for taking the bully down. I am talking about serious bullying types the ones that lead the others into nastiness.

I greatly regret that when I was at school I did not do much more to tackle the bullying behaviour of others and did not complain more about it. I have the greatest respect for people who challenge this behaviour. I should have done more. There were absolutely no anti-bullying support structures at that time in the schools I went to (1970s) and reporting poor behaviour usually led to a complete non-response from teachers or a negative one, and to the bullies behaving worse to those who reported anything. I do hope this situation has changed in many schools now.

At the time I had a rather warped view that I somehow deserved this treatment (I don't now, but it did affect my behaviour back then) I was also genuinely scared people might be horribly physically violent to me (despite the fact that this was very unusual where I went to school), so I tended to keep my head down.

I'd like to think I never condoned the bullying behaviour I witnessed at school, but being brutally honest I'm not sure even that is true, as by my failure to try and do anything about it most of the time, I probably did.

I don't despise the people who didn't stand up for me, maybe that is because in many ways I was no better than them, but it also is that generally I always try to forgive people rather than feel angry at them.

We do need more people to stand up against bigotry, - I support an organisation that works to support human rights around the world - but I'm really not sure I do enough though (I'll need to think about this more).

There was one notable exception where I did stand up for myself though and it did make a real difference. Interestingly this was a year after the conversation between the 9 year olds happened. A new girl started at my school from outside the area. We got on well, and she also got well with quite a few others, and then the bullies started on her and this made me really angry, and we quickly found ourselves in a situation where I would stand up for here and she would stand up for me. She was far better at it than I was, she just wouldn't take any s***. She was feisty. I thought she was just amazing.

Then one of the bullies hit me in front of a single witness for no reason and so I reported her to teachers (and the witness - who usually hid in the background too and didn't 'tell on others' - backed me up - and hadn't asked her too - this was arguably brave of her and a big surprise to me).

Long story short, the bullies and their tiny clique were furious anyone was standing up for me, tried to say I was lying and they were too, but then more people started standing up for me and saying they'd witnessed other occasions when I'd been bullied and the bullies got in a lot of trouble, and for the remaining year left me alone (and if I remember correctly) everyone else too, so it was a big success for both me and other potential victims of these people. So this was a case where a number of ordinary people who hadn't really stood up for a victim before - all finally decided to - and it worked out very well.

I'm not sure I would have had the courage to finally make a stand and seek to get the bullies stopped had I not seen the new girl standing up for herself in the first place and saying clearly that the bullies were really very wrong. (Although I had been pushed for a long time, I did feel it was unjust and I was starting to have enough.)

I have absolutely no idea if the people who stood up for me were NT on not, we didn't have those labels back in the 70s, they were just my fellow class mates.

TD, young aspies still have hope of assimiliating in society and still invest an awful lot to that aim, often at the expense of excelling in their trade. They don't believe you if you tell them it's hopeless. How can you change that without sounding bitter and like you're one of the very few who didn't succeed at the mission? As long as they have this illusionary hope, they won't choose the "recharging your Autism" path you propose.

I knew a woman whose daughter had an overweight problem (tiroid) from birth. Her mother was a genius in that she raised her to invest in herself and not to waste time trying for her peers to accept her with her obesity. But most parents will direct their aspie kids along the wrong path of "try harder to assimilate".

Moondust, all I aim to do is share the knowledge that I have for those who may in fact be interested, and believe deep down that they're meant for something different and better.

I can't expect the world over to heed my words of advice; if they take an interest, great. If they don't, that's their choice.

But I know for certain those words won't be taken into consideration if I don't share them at all.

I'll PM you about the article; it would really take this thread off topic like you wouldn't believe.

I think I get what you're saying TheDoctor82, goin' blonde. fur sur.
When I'm 'blonde', "how are you," gets, I'm super! thanks for asking! I might even sing the song at them.
I directly stole it from Big Gay Al's song in South Park movie Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
Almost nobody ever asks for real, they just say, "oh, good!"

"Would you be ever-so-kind and pass the salt to me pleeeEEEeeeeEeEEeeease?" "Thann-que!!"
I just play, and act weirdish, I tip my head at them, smash the biggest clown smile I can into my face and flutter my eyelashes (poorly) at them. "Yur so Awesome!! !"

I'm sure I look like a complete idiot but they just eat it up! ! I figure it's like shoveling cake in their mouths.
But omg I need a lot of energy* to do all that, but it's really a lot of fun too. stimulating. I can see why some gay ppl are so happy, it's fun and freeing.

I also love occasionally talking gay and flicking the wrist and all, really weirds out the homophobes, because they like me and can't like gays! omg!! /faint! I figure they deserve it. LOL forces them to think, poor bastages =)

Bean Blonde and over the top works great with women too, it's fun and I can gratuitously over-flatter them. I figure they deserve it too, in a good way. Women prolly get way too much seriousness from guys anyhow.

When I'm in Professional Mode though, things don't go so well. Customers love competence esp. at the high level of cash they're outputting and the esoteric industries I've been in. Bosses, co-workers, doctors (in any field), friends, family, and strangers get really bent (angry/threatened?) when I'm Professional, and will attack if they can get the nerve up (but rarely openly because they get torn apart faster than I can remember to be gentle). Subordinates flat out swoon for me though.

I guess that's the long version of me goin blonde.
so have a Super Day all! in fact, have TWO! on me!! no extra charge!! exchanges and refunds not allowed. non-transferable. must use within eighteen decades. void where prohibited by jerks. available in Porto Rico. not valid in Tahiti unless you take me along.


*not to actually do it, but to switch into it. poor switching tolerance...