do you think it's harder to be a guy or a girl as an aspy?

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probably girls in that it's harder to get a diagnosis because it is socaily acceptable for a girl to be quiet or shy where as boy's it's much more obvious. So girls will go longer without therapy, will be blamed more for their mistakes and not be given acess to an aids in school or in the comunity.

I think the best way to put it is that it is hard to be an aspie no matter what gender or orientation you happen to be. Each person's life is their own private social hell and it's hard to rate the actual difficulty of their experiences against another person's as no one knows how bad the emotional toll is to each person.

I'm not talking about relationships at all because that depends on the person. I'm talking more about conforming in day to day life.

I'd say it's completely random who has it harder between the genders. A good-looking aspie male is likely to have more friends, more people approaching him generally, more opportunities for sex or to find a relationship etc than a less attractive aspie female, so in that respect gender is irrelevant as it's looks that are the parameter. What the aspie male does about these opportunities is a different matter as I've noticed people vary greatly in their abilities to capitalise on their advantages.

It's all to do with the extent to which an individual can make the most of their strengths and work to overcome their weaknesses in my opinion. There will always be people who have it easier than yourself in life just as there will be those who have it far worse. BUT - things can rapidly go from ideal to hellish for anyone, no matter what their advantages, as life is so random. In a weird way it often seems to even itself out in many ways.

The "strong, silent type" thing fails horribly the moment when someone tries to talk to you. They expect smooth, swave, calm, comforting... and if you're none of those they get freaked out (or disgusted) by the dissonance pretty fast (between the image in their mind and the reality in front of their face). Sort of a "ret*d that looks like a normal person" reaction. Ultimately, people still expect you to be a normal guy.

At this point, I'd much rather have people assume that I'm weird (or even brain-damaged) than the "strong, silent" type. Too many bad (and unasked-for) experiences, there.

Living up to the "strong and silent" stereotype is only possible if you look like a late 20's Dolph Lundgren.

I think it must be harder for women. Emotional expression is one of the main impairments and there is more expectation of emotional expression from women.