15 Mar 2013, 3:43 am
15 Mar 2013, 8:03 am
02 Apr 2013, 10:36 am
I usually categorize my meltdowns as "stressed out", "shutdown", and "black out".
I just had a stressed out meltdown yesterday and get one every week or so; 
I usually have one when I get overloaded from bright lights and loud sounds. I get a really bad head ache and sometimes my vision gets blurred. It takes me 1-2 days for recovery.
When I get a shut down meltdown it's usually caused by shock, like really bad news. I shut down my emotions for a while and go about my business or find a place I can be alone in order to process things (like when a machine freezes and needs time to reboot). I think it's my minds way of keeping me from keeping me from doing anything that might harm me in a hysteria. Recovery takes 1-5 days.
My least favorite is when I get a black out meltdown. This only happens when I feel trapped or truly threatened, like in a fight. When I'm arguing or fighting I like to resolve things quickly to reduce risk. I fight using martial arts and know how to cause a decent amount of damage. unfortunately I don't have a very good temper (people call me hot headed), but most times I can keep it from getting too out of control. I usually meditate, break things, or scream into a pillow, so it doesn't happen often .But when I feel like I'm in danger I snap, when this happens I can't remember what I did. 
One time when this happened, a guy tried to sneak up on me and get me in a choke hold; I blacked out and when I came to my senses every one was staring at me and the guy was laying on the floor in pain.
Another guy had recorded the whole thing on his phone; apparently when he tried to grab me I took his arm, judo flipped him over my shoulder, and slammed him as hard as I could on to a VCR. I couldn't remember doing any of that (still don't). The closest I've come lately was a couple of months ago during an argument with my grandpa; which was really dangerous cause it was on the high way. I felt like I was about to black out any second so I yelled at him to either shut up or pull over and let me out; he shut up and I felt better after a few hours. It can be annoying and a little scary, but I guess it's better than not having it and getting into trouble.
