I can't stand people anymore.

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Would you be comfortable saying you are not NT, even if you don't have an answer for what you are? That's basically where I have landed, though the diagnostic criteria for ADHD fit me well enough that I can say I have it, even though I don't really think that is what it is. I think realistically, I am a subclinical Aspie, or shadow. Which to me means that I have the traits, just not to the degree that it would warrant a formal diagnosis. I have never come across a group of Aspies who have not welcomed me. And one group in particular welcomed me even when I insisted I was NT when they asked me if I was AS. The thing with labels like AS is that they are man-made descriptors of constructs that are not directly observable. They are only inferrable through behavior. No description may fully explain or describe all objects that belong under that construct. Some will inevitably be missed by the description, but that doesn't mean they don't fit in the construct, if that makes sense.

Can you do that? Sit in the space where you recognize you have atypical wiring and then go from there? I don't think going to a IRL group would be that much different than coming here. I think the people there will all understand how it feels to feel like a misfit and I think most of them, especially if they are functioning high enough to go to college, will have faced their own self doubt and the doubt of others. You are not lying or "something" if you say "Look, I don't know if I have AS or not. What I do know is that socialization is very difficult and stressful for me, so I am looking to find people who will understand where I am coming from."

And, even if you don't get a diagnosis, no one has asked me to stop posting here and I do not have AS

Okay, seriously! It's 1.10am. The people I'm staying at just got home from somewhere. It's impossible to miss the fact that I was sleeping (you see me when you walk through the front door) but instead of being quiet they were laughing loudly, turning on the lights and now they're standing a couple of meters away from me still talking loudly and laughing. I obviously woke up and instead of being quiet they laughed and said "good morning!". I said "not really" and then they kept asking me things like "what did you do today?" and now they're still freaking talking! WHY are they tormenting me like this? Do people really do these things? I'm getting angry again.

Again, your story doesnt seem that dissimilar to mine.

I was also 'into' sports... I endeavoured to support Manchester United to fit in with my social peers.
I had a longing to be accepted into the herd for acceptance's sake.
I was also bullied at school, I collected soft toys whom i assigned different names and personalities. I actually kept my teddy bears up until the age of about 14, now that i think about it thats the only severe developmental delay i had.

Yeah. I think it's quite "normal" for girls to keep their stuffed animals longer.

I don't really understand your edit. Or well, I understand it, but they're really sober. They've been to the youth group at their church and they don't drink there.

Interseting. When I lived in the Dorm, it was hard at times.. I got along with a couple of my roomates, but not all of them. Frankly, my off-putting, anti-social ways resulted in most of them moving out. I spend 75% of my dorm days with my own room. Not as lonely as it sounds, since we had connected rooms but I had space to get away from people. in the end, this helped me actually enjoy most of my college years.

Sincerely,
Matthew