I feel like a soical ret*d? Does anyone else feel this way?

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Hahaha yeaaaa im QTR of the way their and now I gotta Goto the store and get more but dunno if I can be bothered walking it's only appx 120mtrs less than 300 round trip.

^^^you could walk 120 meters with one leg tied behind your back.

Well I made it.. had to corporate downsize.
I had the clerk at the store envision me with an arm bar of refusal due to my neighbour not having id. But I managed. Haha so drinking continues. *Looks for someone to Hi5*

be safe

What a night man.
I got stuck in middle of nowhere and couldn't get back home. Finally home now was stuck and had to sleep on sidewalk until I could get train again I was very lost and frightened. I went out with someone who's a neighbour where I live . Reminds me why I don't want to socialise ever . I dint know which way to walk but lucky my bro messaged me and told me how to open maps on google least I was going in right direction but I didn't have enough battery to last the whole trip so I had to sleep in street under a light then moved into a subway . Had a shower and still very unsettled by my outing and I'm starting to dislike humans more and more. My brother is probably the only half decent nt in my existence. Least he helps me even if it's just directions. Dumb phone dumb me. Very cranky this morning not angry but very cranky

I don’t. I’m an introvert anyway and have learned that every time you feel like something is going to be socially inappropriate, don’t do it or say it. I’m social but I need time alone to function.

Everything I do or say seems socially unacceptable. I don't really want to be social except I'm kinda forced by others to be. I definitely need alone time to stop my brain from hurting and socialising even for a few minutes will cause me to be incredibly tired and then I get so tired I don't even want to talk on the phone or even going on the forum here is making me tired because I haven't recovered from yesterday and I'm emotionally unsettled after my worry last night

I am the same generally speaking when it comes to dealing with normal people whom I don't have much in common with or the thing I do have in common with is something I don't particularly love - such as coworkers.
But if I have my own little crew of people to go out into the world with then I'm fine to be a lively addition to everyone's day. So at work, wow I hate everything about everything. Every conversation. I know I am doing something wrong. Always. Literally every single interaction. Be nice it's wrong. Be reserved it's wrong. Be outgoing it's too loud. Be quiet I'm not contributing. It's just always wrong I absolutely hate it. Endlessly uncomfortable.
But say if I have 1-3 fun friends who want to go to a music festival, then it's going to be the time of everyone's lives.

lordy what a night indeed! i hope you can decompress in due time.

Yes I do.

I have been feeling like that all my life. I am really worried about it and masking is really really hard for me these days.

^^^welcome to WP, Lakersgirl

Your entire post is like a version of me. Couldn't have said it any better. Wish I had a lil clique I too would be the light in everyone's day. I'm sick of the world only offering me addicts and drug users as the only option for friends. It's very degrading to where I want my life headed. I'm ok with alcohol though, I enjoy that in excess though but I think it's cause I treat it like my only relationship cause it pretty much is. I want friends who are intellectually stimulating and not focused on just fighting or wanting to get high etc. I blew up over this the other night it was my underlying reason now when I think back cause I wouldn't have been out nor had to sleep on the curb again. I'm still very traumatised from having to do this for years being made homeless etc. but it's very refreshing to read your post cause that's exactly what I feel just I couldn't find the words to say it as clear as that. Socially I'm inept and even getting my thoughts to make sense is hard too. I've kinda lost my voice even in text to a degree over the past couple of years where written communication has always been my strong point.

Yeah I feel stupid often. I usually think that being oblivious to some social cues is a form of stupidity. But I'm NOT saying that is true. It's just me beating myself up about all the embarrassing things I did in the past and although I hardly ever make social blunders these days I'm still scared that I might make one and an NT is going to point it out like it's some sort of crime and humiliate me.

The words "I wasn't talking to you", "stop following me", "stop moaning" and "you're weird" were rudely said to me too many times in my childhood, and although these words are very rarely said to me in adulthood (not because people are less blunt but because my social skills have improved), if they are said to me or implied, I overanalyze it in my head and get depressed and have bouts of social phobia. Probably because it reminds me of the social rejection I suffered from my peers as a child and that I do not want to be a social failure all my life. So it's probably like a C-PTSD or something.

Yeah.
Sometimes just getting through the day at work... trying to second guess everything I say and stop myself before I put my foot in it... and just wishing I could be accepted as myself.
It's so hard.

Goodness you sound like you're American, do you watch a lot of TV from the USA?

Greetings from a fellow Aussie!