When and how did you first notice that you were different?

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I always felt different from my peers. It was already in the kindergarten. I had massive issues with communication, interactions, also sensory meltdowns, I was fascinated with trams on the city, observing the wheels on the rails, the engine how it worked, also living in my inner world, dissociating, I was basically an alien among humans. I have asked my mom million times what’s wrong with me why I’m so different and inferior to others. Now I’m 36 years old (female) and I told my therapist my story. He informed me I’m most probably autistic. Before I was diagnosed with depression and Tourette. Many people have told my mom and me that there is something wrong with me, but she ignored that. Now I’m exploring autism and I’m shocked to find myself there, but I’m not diagnosed so it may turn out it’s some different condition with similar symptoms. I also have synesthesia and struggle to recognize my own emotions (alexithymia).

I don’t remember not feeling different.