The 'All Aspie women' threads

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I don't see men or women having it easier. I dunno what that even means. Two people can be doing the same thing with similar abilities and success, and one might say its not that hard, but the other has different perception. I tend to lean in not that hard direction even for things that other people think were hard for me to do. My whole life, I said eberrything is not that hard and no big deal, that's my habit for some reason, maybe because I'm emotionally stunted. I really like this term.

Multiple factors can make things easier or harder, including one's executive functions and other cognitive issues, presence or absence of pain, etc. These are not dependent on gender, however. Social factors can also play a role in how other people treat you. For example, a man and a woman could be studying engineering in university, and the woman may face multiple obstacles and micro aggressions due to social issues such as men treating her as if she doesn't belong, as if she's an intruder, making it harder to access materials and equipment she needs to complete her work, etc.

I'm male, and when I joined this site the first time, I too was ignorant, because I only applied everything to what I knew from the male gender role that I grew up with.

The goal posts for both gender (roles) seems to be different. Men want sex, and women, well they want something else. And it seems this power that women hold over men, is what they(men) get angry over. So the goal that a man would like to achieve is blocked by her control, she will be the one to claim rape, not him.

Women uses (making a generalisation here) sex to get whatever it is what they want, probably some affection. (I wouldn't know since I'm not one) And men see that as women reaches the man's goal much quicker.

That is all I can think of why men sees women having it easier if they compare their goals. So it is wrong to compare apples with oranges, since they are both different.

There aren't more threads about women trying to get the same goal as what men want... or even explaining what the hell they want. Some do, they are just in the minority.

This post in itself is also generalising men, perhaps sex is just one of the priorities of their goals but it will always be there and men will then be blamed for only ever thinking with their genitals. So nobody is giving them a chance to explain that they also want more.

I guess my post isn't really helping, but the point I wanted to make was that, i think if you talk more, and keep on writing about it, like this post, then men will eventually start to get the idea. But don't expect men to turn into a bunch of pansies, because you need us the way we are for other reasons, that is off topic. (queue posts where women don't need men)

I never castigated her for her viewpoint. Her viewpoint is perfectly valid and I'm pleased that she has had such an easy time. The thing that bothers me is that her (atypical) experience of being a woman with AS is the only one featured on the site. Both autistic and non-autistic people do visit this site for some sort of education about autism, and don't necessarily come to the forums and read everyone's opinions. Many people just read the articles, and when the only articles on the site written by a woman are about how easy she has had it, and the articles are introduced as "the female perspective," an outsider has no way of realizing that her experience is not typical, and it spreads and supports the myth that women have it easier.

Yes, it is Alex's site and he can run it how he wants, even if that means only featuring his friends. However, he should realize that he has a lot of power in this site and a lot of possibilities of educating and helping people. If he refuses to feature any female experience of autism other than this one, he's actually making people more ignorant. And all he would have to do to help educate people and reduce ignorance would be to feature at least one other female viewpoint on the site. He refuses to do that or even to respond to requests for it, and therefore I am upset by his actions. I don't think there's anything wrong with being angry or upset with something like that.

I never had any interest in joining his clique. I just wanted to help inform people. That's what my blog is about - education and information which is sorely lacking. But my blog doesn't get many views, and this site does, and I don't care if he posts my articles without any credit to me whatsoever, I just want the information to get out there because I'm tired of having to educate every single person individually and face incredible discrimination and unfair expectations every day.

I see what you mean but I think you are overestimating the number of people who actually bother to read those articles

I've only ever read about two myself and I certainly don't come to this site for the articles.
If I can be honest here (ie I don't want to upset Alex or anyone else who contributes to the articles), I see them as amusing more than anything else

It's like 'Let's play at being important media people getting our aspie message out to the world!' - I know it's generally helpful for a positive message to be put out into the world and I
wouldn't criticise anyone for making effort towards this but as I'm a cynical person it's ripe for satirisation in my opinion. In other words it comes across like a comedy based on a group of aspies who are running a media empire or something lol

I don't want to offend anyone but it's just funny to me and I don't really relate to it as I have a far more cynical take on the world. Hence I think many other aspies may well think same as me and aren't taking it all that seriously either, hence I wouldn't feel left out by not being a part of it.

They're doing good works but there's a lot of comedy value in it.

If you have things to say - start a thread - I can assure you more people will read it than if it was in one of those articles!

Perhaps we needs hits counters on things to see if I'm right?

maybe women don't have the social leverage to simply demand it (whatever they want) and expect to get it, and perhaps our society has not put them in the position where they feel they are allowed to resent men for being able to get it seemingly without trying. nor do they usually have the physical power to overtake men to take what they want.

there is a certain amount of entitlement in the complaints that you are referring to, and a person has to feel they deserve something by default in order to get upset about not having it.

I can do all the heavy work without a man, because I'm built like a man. I take great pride in my build, too.

Last edited by CockneyRebel on 31 Dec 2012, 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Would it be accurate to say black people have "control" over white people since white people are no longer allowed to force black people to work on cotton plantations?

Women do not have "power" over men, they just have "power" to decide what to do with their own bodies, If certain men find that inconvenient, tough sh**.

Women not indiscriminately giving sex to men does not equal "male oppression."



Typically, it's emotionally-damaged women who use sex to "get whatever they want."

I don't know very many women who regularly engage in using sex to "get whatever they want." Most emotionally well-adjusted women don't view having sex with lots of random people for material gain as a viable life option.



Yes, it's true women can get sex easier than men on account of the number of men who view women as nothing but a warm orifice in which to insert their junk. Actually establishing fulfilling RELATIONSHIPS is just as hard for women as it is for men.

Unfortunately, there are men on WP who automatically think "sex = relationship".......which is not true.



Many women on this site attempt to explain what they want.

They're accused of lying by unemployed teenaged boys and middle-aged male virgins who claim to know what women want better than they do.



What does being a "pansy" have to do with anything?