Did you act differently after finding out you had an ASD?

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chlov
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07 Jan 2013, 5:22 pm

No.
I'm diagnosed since I was 6, found out when I was about to turn 14 and no, didn't change my life at all. Even if I'd have never been diagnosed, it would have been the same. Even if I would have been diagnosed later, it would have been the same.

FishStickNick
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07 Jan 2013, 5:45 pm

Chloe33 wrote:

Anke wrote:

I think channeling means (I also used do that unconsciously and also don't do it anymore now) when you're talking to somebody, or spending lots of time with them in a work environment etc, you're taking on their mannerisms, their speech patterns etc. Sometimes in a social environment people notice it and think you make fun of them.

I've always used that ability to learn languages. It was funny in Nigeria when I started talking in pidgin English.

Do you mean assimilating?
I thought channeling was a scientific term for the changing of properties..
Assimilating is absorbing things from the mainstream, or other people that we can take on ourselves and thus project.

Scroll to definition #14 under the "World English Dictionary" heading:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/channel

TonyHoyle
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07 Jan 2013, 5:55 pm

I'm still only suspected AS, but it changed my life completely - I've gone from beating myself up about not knowing now to socialise, being different, excluded, etc. to accepting that's the way I am. In fact I went too far the other way, and just stopped trying to be 'normal' at all, which is counterproductive.

Finding the middle ground where I'm happy to be is something I'm still working at.

AinsleyHarte
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12 Jan 2013, 7:06 pm

jetbuilder wrote:

AinsleyHarte wrote:

I was starting to question myself and thought I may be sub-consciouslly "putting on an act," and wondered if I needed to be re-restricting my behaviors. Now that I've read this, I am feeling much better about it.

Self-diagnosed for now (though I had several people within a few weeks of each other tell me I should get tested for AS before I decided to read about it,) and it has been about three months since the realization. I am an incredibly self-conscious person, so I have hidden my "traits" from most everyone that knows me, and there were times I felt like I would go absolutely crazy if I didn't allow myself to show them (proven history of this happening back in 2009.) Once the after-glow of realizing I had AS faded (it still catches me off guard every once and a while) I started to loosen up the reigns I was practically choking myself with - my anxiety and mood have been off the charts due to unrelated events, but instead of bottling every feeling or urge as I usually did, I allowed myself to behave "how I do when I'm alone" more often.

I can relate to this completely!
I to felt for a while that I was trying to force myself to fit the aspergers mold by adopting some of the traits of AS. Then I started to look back on my life and realized that I always had these traits, I just suppressed them until now.

For example: I used to force myself to make eye contact. I wasn't really aware that I shouldn't need to FORCE it and that it comes naturally to most people. Since I learned about AS, I'm not forcing myself to make eye contact. I just do what comes naturally to me now, which is glance at their face for a fraction of a second then look around the room while talking.

I have also realized that I am also quite self conscious around people. So I always pretend to be what I think people expect me to be. In other words, I've never really been myself around people. If someone was watching me when I thought I was completely alone, they would definitely not think of me as normal! :lol:

I'm still trying to get more comfortable with letting people, even close friends, see the "real me".

I had to go to the dentist yesterday. I am terrified of dentists. Usually, I will put on "that face" and pretend that I am not bothered by being there, then have a full-blown meltdown as soon as I get home. This time, I decided to allow myself the freedom to keep myself comfortable during the appointment. My friend came with me and was sitting in the room while they did my exam. He has known me for seven years, so he understands the amount of pressure I put on myself to "appear normal" in public. He was shocked to see me semi-discreetly stimming while they did my cleaning. It was the first time I've gone to the dentist and not had a panic attack or cried afterwards!

To my absolute delight, the people at the dental office recognized my behaviors and did their best to talk me through everything and keep me calm. There is yet hope for humanity in my eyes. I hope you're becoming more comfortable as well!

_________________
I wish I knew who I was before I was Me.

Aspie score: 180 / 200 - NT score: 25 / 200
Aloof: 112 / Rigid: 109 / Pragmatic: 117
AQ: 47

Sharkgirl
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13 Jan 2013, 12:47 am

I am finally free to be me, I feel so much less self conscious knowing what I am all about and that there are others too.
I think the selfconsciousness made me much worse previously.
People comment that I am eccentric however they seem to like it.
Finally I feel like I can express my personality.
For a while I did slightly exaggerate the symptoms and had a friend who pointed it out, he was one of the only people I confided in about the diagnosis. He called me a ret*d as a joke and made fun of my stimming behaviours - he is no longer my friend.
I am making so many more friends now just being me.
So many changes in such a short space of time it feels great

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Webalina
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13 Jan 2013, 10:34 pm

This is a really great thread. I think we're all finding out that our initial reaction to being AS -- whether officially diagnosed or not -- was a shock to our systems. That we ALL felt like we started "putting on" when in reality we were just noticing things that we were always doing but had never noticed.

I sure wish this had been around when I was growing up. My mother has been telling me FOR YEARS that she thought there was something "wrong" with me. People have always treated me like I was made of glass -- not telling off-color jokes around me, not sharing anything that might seem "immoral" (drunk stories, brushes with the law), checking on me all the time, always needing to know where I was and making me check in all the time. I never could understand what all the "babying" was about as I felt "normal", if there is such a thing. But everybody else apparently saw me as an oddball in need of protecting.

I was in therapy when I was 17 (way back in 1977) and all they could come up with was that I had "low self-esteem". Since then, I've looked into bi-polar disorder, social anxiety disorder (this one has actually been diagnosed), OCD, depression...all seem to fit and not fit at all at the same time. Now that I've discovered AS I've stopped looking at other diagnoses. I've found where I belong. It's good to finally understand why I do the things I do and think the way I do. A couple of previous posters said that they no longer feel the need to do things like make eye contact or stop stimming in public. I hope I can get that confident one day.

Swordfish210
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14 Jan 2013, 7:25 am

Webalina wrote:

I find this quite difficult myself. I mean my behaviour is differnet from day to day, probably due to stimuli etc., but I am not sure if I acted like this before or am I faking things unconciously or am I just noticing myself more? Sometimes I act 'more autistic' and I could stop myself with much effort, but I often feel it is too much effort. Should I stop, am I trying to get attention or should I just act as I feel?

Getting the diagnosis both made me more sure and made me doubt more.

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