Are you happier with no friends or social contacts?

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In real life, I prefer not to socialize (even with family).

But I do appreciate being able to talk to people online, when I'm feeling up to it. (And then hide in my hole for months, when I'm not.) I learn a lot from it, and it helps me to improve my social skills.

I can relate to you on both accounts as, I'm not fond of having to socialize amongst the miniscule amount of my own family members as well, I don't mind talk with people online even if I'm simply writing out things without a real voice,as that does not matter at this juncture.

I have been happier with fewer, but fear zero.

I’m 27 and I have always been very aloof and asocial in the first place. To answer your question, I would say that I have not changed in my interest in other people as I have aged.

I agree with the Matrix comparison.

A few are recycling up old posts like Transyl did with this one, lol. That's ok, just wonder if the op for these posts are still around to read the replies.

I used to believe my best living scenario was to be isolated away from everyone. That old movie 'Cast Away' staring Tom Hanks and the History Channel series 'Life After People' were my favorite things to watch almost a decade ago. Don't know if age makes a person need to feel apart of the larger world population or not, but for me it did.

I want to be useful & a positive entity in the world. I don't want friends, but do want to get along with others better & want to have positive relationships with people. All the misunderstandings occur, not because I've done or said something bad, but because I am not able to communicate effectively with words. I accidentally leave out details -- it doesn't occur to me to include some things in the discussion, which leads some to react negatively.

This led me a couple years ago to start creating videos of my DIY projects without commentary. Captions are used to help explain a few things, but other than those few captions, words are not used very often. This has greatly increased my usefulness in the world -- all over the world. People watch from Australia, Germany, Canada, across the US & UK, China, Japan, ... so many different countries. It is good to finally find a positive communication path.

Is so much easier to interact that way & am proud of myself for doing it. It has caused problems with people wanting more from me than I can sustain. There is a solution & need to learn how to set boundaries without hurting their feelings or decreasing their positive reactions. Learning how to balance these interactions is a challenge -- which goes back to personal interactions in person being very difficult for me. No matter what I do, the problem is still there. Eventually I will figure out a way around it. At least there is improvement because I didn't give up trying.

Zero friends for two decades, 3 family members I see regularly, 2 other family members I see a few times a year.

I don't know about happier, that's not really the right word. It's generally less stressful with no social contacts. The problem is when something goes wrong in the house, like a broken tap or something, and not knowing anybody who can fix it, so it remains unfixed because I can't deal with strangers coming into the house.

I don't have anyone in even for major renovations, but half my space is devoted to tools. It usually takes very few for common repairs, and the problem is a nice, static one. You can shout at a tap all day and it won't mind, but if you hit it, it may make more work. However, with the right combination of moves, it is better than new. If you can afford replacements of whole components, repairs are sometimes even easier.

They don't have to be 'Household strangers.' Try CheckorTrade, and get some plumber quotes

Last edited by PearlsofWisdom on 01 Jan 2018, 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Definitely not. People bother me less overall if I maintain my resistance to annoyance.

The key for me has been learning to retreat when necessary and then re-engage when possible.

No, I'm definitely happier with friends. The years in my life where I had (almost) no friends I was really miserable. Having friends that I can see only several times a year has also never been enough for me, I want to see them several times a month. Apart from friends, I have other social contacts (boyfriend, family, work) who I meet several times a week.

Not seeing someone makes me feel really anxious. I hate my own company because it's only thoughts caused by anxiety and OCD.

I don't experience stress from meeting people per se, I experience, however, stress from having people over at my home due to my executive functioning disorder.

Oh boy-is this question a hard one! I think a lot of my stuff about admitting I don't have friends,as though it's a major deficit to get over, stems from societal expectations. It's as though I've been conditioned into believing to not be 'flawed' is to have a good circle of friends .
Most of the time I'm happy with my own company and seeing family. It's boredom with my own company that moves me temporarily out of that mindset rather than an overwhelming desire for regular contact with people.
If I had a friend I'd prefer one loyal and true one rather than 50 fair-weather ones who were little more than glorified acquaintances.

No. I am absolutely not "happier without friends or social contacts".
It's just that I catastrophically "suck at making and keeping friends. Social contacts as well. I suck socially. Across the board."

I'm 58 with no friends. There is no goddamned silver lining.

At this point, I have no friends except a couple in other countries whom I haven't seen for years. I've always been terrible at maintaining friendships or moving beyond acquaintances, but it's much harder now. Being the 87% single parent of two small boys means that for years I haven't had the energy or time, and the tiny number I used to have have dropped away.

quite enjoy connecting through companionable silence, playing breath stealing sports, and mind sharpening conversations/activities. don’t do well alongside those who appear horrified of air that’s not flooded by voice... even if there’s nothing worth saying.

haven’t had a friend in nearly six years due to chronic illness, and having had only one experience with a friend who didn’t want every moment of spare time until the point of burnout... have become quite wary to avoid being smothered by needy company, dropped and deemed unforgivable for seeking solitude to recharge as if it’s the worst crime any friend could commit.

I am a lot happier being on my own and staying at home a lot verse having to go out, but at times I can feel the sting of loneliness.
I still have one friend but I meant to give up on them because they weren't supportive. They don't seem to get the hint though.
I suppose if I am really lacking company I always have my online games.