Aspies, do you lack empathy?

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This may sound silly, but it was only very recently that I learned that "empathy" meant that you have to feel the exact same feeling as the other person...I guess I learned that word by osmosis, never looked it up in the dictionary, so I didn´t know. As it is, I`ll usually have a feeling, but a different one from what the person is feeling. For instance, if someone I care about is upset, I may just feel love for them, or the desire to help, but I cannot "get into" their feeling.

I do, however, feel empathy for children, particularly if they are being bullied or out-casted. Maybe because I´ve been there...

I have extreme empathy for animals including insects. I remembered when I was a child once I killed a butterfly by accident then I stared to cry. I buried him and sang a
requiem for him, hoping that he could enter heaven.

I am able to have empathy but it really all depends on the situation.

Sometimes empathy for me is overwhelming; sometimes it isn't there at all. I always, however, possess sympathy.

Strangely enough my strongest empathetic feelings are often for fictional characters. There are scenes on TV that I can't watch because I'm so embarrassed for a character (when I'm watching Monk for example), and scenes where I see sadness in a person and then feel so bad myself that I can't sleep (like with Criminal Intent).

When a friend is sad I can't stand it, I do all I can to make them feel better. But they have to tell me something is wrong first, I can't just pick up on their distress automatically the way I can for some reason with fictional TV people (maybe because even the best actors exaggerate?).

So generally it's a very intense sympathetic feeling I have, not an empathetic one.

I'm not sure if I do. I do care. I care very much for non-human animals, and humans I don't know. Humans I like or don't know very well I care about. If there is a human I'm not fond of who is hurt, I'll still help them out. I don't like suffering of any kind, and derive no pleasure from the misfortune of others. I'll probably feel worse if a friend or family member is hurt somehow than if a random person or enemy is, but that is to be expected.

I care about suffering, but I can't always tell when something is wrong. So I care, but I am not really empathic at all. I'm very similar to Aurore.

If empathizing involves knowing how the other person feels, I don't think I can. How can I be sure I know how the other person feels? I am not them, and have a different mind and life from them, so I can't really know how they are feeling. Sometimes I can relate similar feelings or experiences, but I don't think it's really possible to know how another feels.

It's interesting how many people here have strong empathy for non-human animals. I don't.

Do you have empathy with humans? Humans are very confusing. Animals just talk to me. I understand them much better. They like me, and I like them.

Me too; I get on very well with cats and dogs and if I see them in distress I crumble. Other animals affect me too; for example, there was a rabbit trapped under my fence once and its leg was torn open by some animal. I couldn't stand how much pain it was obviously in, and I slowly eased it out from under the fence. I'd originally expected it would freak out and I'd just let it go, but it actually seemed to calm down, and I just cradled it crying for 45 minutes as my mom called for the Wildlife Rescue people to come for it. In retrospect I wonder if it was a domesticated bunny, it seemed so socialized to people.

Huh, I have a similar experience. Oddly enough, it was a bird with a concussion, and I had one as well. Some horrible kids (I was in high school) were throwing this poor bird against a wall, and it was so confused that it couldn't fly away. So I told the boys off, picked up the bird, and went searching for a science teacher to tell me what was wrong with the bird. The bird wasn't seriously injured, so it was okay. I just held the bird gently and stroked it a little bit. You have to be very careful with birds because of their hollow bones. It was just a little sparrow. So cute!

It's kind of horrible when my cats catch bunnies or something. I can feel the intense desire for the predator to hunt, and I understand that cats play with their food to keep their hunting skills sharp by practicing on something that moves, but can't escape. I also feel the terror and pain of their prey. Once I stopped my cat from toying with a bunny. It ran away, then I realized it would only die later from its injuries. Now I let them finish what they start, and if they don't, I do. It's horrible, but it's the most merciful thing I can do.

I have no lack of empathy.

Because when Steve Irwin died, and his public memorial service was held in Oz, I cried during his daughter's speech.
When she said the lines: "I have the best dad in the world. Whenever I see a crocodile, I'll think of him." I started sobbing.

Stereotypes...jeez.

Steve Irwin is amazing. I usually don't cry when appropriate, but I understand feeling upset about that whole affair.

Yeah, he was awesome. I was in shock. Forget his talent with animals, I mean, he was one helluva person. And he had a gift in life and he lived it to its full extent. I have such deep appreciation for him.

I like how he'd keep talking about the animal he was showing even after it bit him and he needed medical attention. He was just so cool.

A lot of people in my family do well with non-human animals. Both sides of the family actually. I get the Asperger's from Dad, and today Mom was telling me about how OCD her family is. Although Mom is good with people, we're all good with animals. I wonder what it is about us that makes us good with animals? I wish there was a way to understand humans better.

I think a lot of it is that we are more comfortable because the animals don't think the same way as humans, so they don't see differences between us and other people.

No, I don't have empathy with humans either.

Does this make you sad, being disconnected? I often wish I could empathize with other humans. I can at least take comfort in my cats. We love each other very much, and understand each other well. One is sleeping on my toes now.