Anyone ever get back at their bullies?

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as JFK said, "life is unfair." but the goal of civilized people ought to be in caring enough to do what one can to make it a bit less unfair for other folk.

I once put on tee-shirt, a set of bib overalls, some work boots, a straw hat, and a pair of work gloves. Then I put two sacks of 100% organic natural fertilizer in a wheelbarrow and trundled it through the main gates of a cemetery. Then I empties the sacks on the grave of a particularly nasty bully the day before what would have been his birthday. I had hoped to show his "loved ones" that there was someone who really hated him, but I guess he had no loved ones left.

When I checked back two days later, the pile had grown bigger.

Revenge is never right but is often the only way to get bullies to cease their efforts. I seem to have made a second career of it in my life. The effect never lasts permanently though. The only thing that has a permanent effect is to live a better life than your bullies.

I am not only an Aspie but am also gay (not that it does me any good with all the stupid head games that people play), so I have always caught hell from the bullies on both points. For some reason, the alphas seem to interpret Aspie nature as a flawed indicator of a gay sexuality because we are so different from them (they are too dumb to see the truth). In my case it just happens to be true. Some of my best revenge has been to just "allow" them to make fools of themselves, which they are only too willing to do without any help from me. It does get to be rather stressful at times though.

I spent my working years on a small (1000 people) remote island overseas working as a civilian engineer on an Air Force contract. This island will remain unnamed as has always been my practice on WP (that allows me to tell this story openly, which is 500% true). This island had a 95% male population when I arrived (70% when I left) but it took me 4 years to realize that all the guys were openly messing around with each other. I was known to be gay (as a result of deceit of others - another story) and nobody would have anything to do with me while they all spent their time gossiping and speculating about my sex life and generally keeping their nose so far up my tail that if I got a sudden case of diarrhea, they would all have drowned (same situation I must currently deal with in the US). In Aug or Sep 1979, two months after I realized what was going on there, somebody brought syphilis to the island and it spread like wildfire. The Air Force did not want to have to explain how such a thing could have ever happened on a 95% male island so they just swept it under the carpet and fired anybody who went to the medic for treatment, thus proving that it did indeed exist (don't ask, don't tell with a twist of lemon). So the disease continued to proliferate. Since nobody would have anything to do with me, I was the only person who was clean on an island of 1000 straight guys who were all passing syphilis around to each other, and even defending it as desirable as a sign that they were sexually active. So I made royal fools of all these guys by their own foolish and hypocritical behavior. It was so bad that even the children were running around talking about syphilis freely after hearing their parents talk about it and it became routine dinner table conversation. At the dinner table next to me one Sunday, I even overheard the base commander's 5 year old daughters saying to her mom, "mommy, mommy, you have the syphilis" (did you ever see Art Linkletter's "Kids say the Darndest Things"). I nearly choked on my food. Her mom then said to her, "thats right my darling, but I got it from your daddy". Then I thought to myself, "yeah, and who did her daddy get it from".

The local people referred to themselves as The Saints (again to be left unexplained). They had a false macho attitude and both demonized me for making them all look like fools and revered me as being bigger than life in their eyes. One night I heard a young Saint plumber saying to his male date for the evening, "you know, this is really crazy... the biggest man in Saint territory is a fa99ot". One night (Feb 14, 1981) a fight broke out over me and one self-appointed super-alpha tried to kick the door to my room down (he almost succeeded... the carpenter had to rebuild it the next day). I got my revenge a year later when that guy got fired for drugs and was hauled away by the US marshals. About 6 months later they banned me and Herb (a talkative, and straight old man who WOULD talk to me when the others shunned me) from the employees club for a period of three months for doing absolutely nothing wrong. The club violated its own bylaws by not even telling us the reason why (there was none) and for not giving us a chance to speak for ourselves. We were informed about the ban later after the meeting. So when that ban expired around Christmas time, I made my protest known by staging a continuing boycott of the club (Herb did too). The old woman who was our representative on the club's board of governors and who had voted wrongfully to ban us felt very guilty over her actions and tried to beg me to return to the club for a Christmas party... but I stuck with my boycott and would not return. A year later on Oct 2, 1982, I was told that the club manager named Harry, who had orchestrated that ban had been fired for embezzlement. This made my day and that night I returned to the club triumphantly alongside a colorful (very straight) old man who was my coworker and one of the few real friends I have ever had. I saw Harry that night and he looked so embarrassed. I had my revenge through his own actions and proved to all who the real offender was.

On that same night, I became reacquainted with a young Saint bartender named Colin who was more gentle than most (probably bisexual) and not a bully like the other guys were and who had been a passing friend prior to the time when I left the club. It was his 21st birthday (that is how I remember the date). He was very glad to see me back again and in time we developed a really big crush on each other, although we could do nothing at all due to the syphilis. There was a grouchy old man named Nugent who worked for my company and who was almost certainly gay and who had always had his desires set on me and felt envious that I had feelings for Colin. So Nugent swooped in and stole Colin from me when I could do nothing about it. From that time onwards, they made a big show of stepping outside to have sex each night right in front of my nose then returning to openly show off their satisfaction while I had nobody at all and no hope of finding anybody. The Air Force had formally stated that if I ever got syphilis I would automatically be fired, no questions asked since I was known to be gay. It was a case of guilty even if proven innocent. Talk about some long lonely nights of deep anguish and despair... those were the worst of my entire life. Then another young Saint named Michael returned to the island to work for another company after being fired earlier. Michael WAS gay and had previously been my hopeful heartthrob but had rejected me out of distrust (with what he had to put up with it was understandable). This resulted in a 4 way love triangle in which I was the pariah and odd man out since I was clean. Nugent was at the center of it all and messing around with both guys that he knew I wanted. The local gossip became intense as people were determined to pry into my life and figure out who I was making it with (nobody). Every night the accusations and counter-accusations would fly between Nugent, Colin and Michael with all kinds of harsh feelings resulting and talk that "Nugent is pi55ed off" or "Colin is pi55ed off". Nobody ever had any real compassion for the fact that I was totally alone though... this was their goal in order to dominate and control me (the goal of any bully). Then the apologies began among the three and you would always hear people gossiping that "Nugent apologized" and "Colin apologized" as proof that I was still alone and had nobody. This began to really annoy me because these people were apologizing to each other for the fact that they lacked the courage to be my mate. (They did not know it, but by this time I had liberal supplies of antibiotics from a helpful US doctor in case the worst happened as well as plenty of condoms and rubber gloves). This went on for a year or so and then I began to see signs that Colin and Nugent were breaking up, with Colin still using Nugent as an excuse. Sometime during that year, I began dealing with the loneliness by taking care of my own needs before going out for the night then basking in the glow of satisfaction with pure feelings for Colin in my heart (and I made sure he knew it) while all the guys played their games. That caused a real commotion in the gossip circles. Then even later I began sneaking out the back door to my room during the evening when nobody was watching and absolutely nobody knew what I was doing or when. I was determine to preserve my privacy and become an unknown quantity to people who insisted on invading that privacy. The guys feared doing it and they feared not doing it because they just might become associated with me in the gossip. Nugent began staying out of the club except on nights when Colin had his night off (Thursday). One Thursday night there had been the usual talk that "Nugent apologized". I stood at the bar annoyed about it and thinking to myself that it was a good pun and that Nugent was indeed a sorry person. This put a huge smile on my face as I hatched my plan. I waited for closing time, then on my way to the door I had to walk right behind where he was standing on the corner of the bar talking to two other Saints. As I walked past behind him, I said out loud, "he's such a SORRY old toad". A second later I heard the Saints he was with laughing and asking him, "whats the matter old man". (They often called him "old man" as a matter of course and not not as an insult... he was in his late 50s at the time). Then a few steps later as I neared the front door, I bent over double laughing out loud to myself, ridiculing his behavior and headed on out the door. A few steps outside the door, I began hearing the Saints inside saying, "Nugent is pi55ed off" (he always did have a volatile temper, which is something I was using against him in my statement). I got back to my room 400 feet away and about 5 minutes later, the Saints began walking past outside on their way home and I could hear their gossip through the open window as they were saying, "Nugent is pi55ed off", "Nugent is REALLY pi55ed off". I got a big smile on my face as I thought to myself that I had finally gotten my revenge against the guy who stole the one guy in many years who treated me like I meant something to him instead of as an object to be bullied. The next morning I was still on cloud nine about it and when Nugent came to my workplace to do his daily task, he was still pi55ed off, slamming the front door REALLY hard. First thing he saw on his way back to his station was me sitting in the workshop with a huge smile on my face and that pi55ed him off even more. The benefits only lasted for a day though and he was back to ganging up on me with others and bullying me again by that night. A couple of years later, Colin met a girl and the feud between myself and Nugent no longer served a purpose. So we became friends once again (for talk only) and he rubbed salt in Colin's wounds by openly rejecting him one night while talking to me in the bar. My 18 years on that island were all like that: an ongoing dog eat dog battle that I learned to hate, and still do. The island itself was a paradise though.

Upon my return to the US in 1993, I was once again an unknown and people generally left me alone. This changed 3 years ago when I met a guy who just had to be an Aspie too, but he was never able to talk to me. The few times he did try, he was only capable of making some gurgling sounds rather than words. This guy served as the catalyst that led to my own Aspie awakening (and caused me to find WP too) and I developed some real feelings for him that I think he valued, but we were never able to talk to each other. He finally moved away about 9 months ago, leaving me heartbroken. People have always shown interference with me whenever I have any chance of having a simple friend when they all have so many friends. They begin to gossip about me and chase the other person away out of their own selfish envy. This has been the case lately and my neighbors will not talk TO me but insist on gossiping about me. Yesterday I felt very angry and resentful about this in addition to having a moderate meltdown over it. Then I went to the supermarket late in the afternoon. There is a young bag-girl there who likes to show off that she thinks she is God's gift to the world. Several times in the past has made public shows of affection with coworkers (necking and such) in the checkout lines to try to make other people envious of her (the typical dominate, control and reject game of bullies everywhere). Have you never seen high school kids standing on a busy street corner during rush hour french kissing each other? it is not about affection but is only for show to demonstrate domination and rejection of any other people who see it. It only serves to arouse my contempt and disgust with this bag-girl because I am not interested in either her or her trashy playmates. When she saw me walk in the store with a scowl on my face yesterday, she looked at me, held her hand up in the air and made that jerking gesture at me, which angered me even more that she thought my life was any of her business. That store chain has a strict policy of non-interference with its customers. So I plan to write an anonymous letter to the store headquarters to tell them about her behavior. With any luck I will be avenged if she gets fired or seriously reprimanded over it.

Revenge never does any good against people whose only purpose in life is to find fault with anything and everything that we do. They will only take it as a sign of their success in getting under your skin and controlling you according to their own warped view of things. But still I have one more good idea planned for this week. During my senior year in college, I knew a wonderful straight guy named Leonard who was a dedicated non-conformist. When the frat jocks held an "Aggression Day Rally" in which they gathered on the ball field to fight and show aggression, growls and hate for each other, Leonard saw this as inherently wrong and uncivilized. So he organized an Anti-Aggression Day Rally with posters about it placed all over the dorms. Instead of fighting, we all gathered together on the ball field and sat around smiling at each other saying please and thank you. Sadly Leonard was killed a year later in a traffic mishap with a tractor trailer. I have always hated Valentines Day with a passion since people are so phony and go out of their way to show off their mates while rejecting other people like all of us Aspies. It is my most hated day of the year (Neanderthal Bowl Sunday is second most hated and Halloween is my favorite day) and I have nicknamed it as Bah-Humbug Day. So this year in Leonard's spirit I am showing my protest with an Anti-Bah-Humbug Day Celebration. Bah-Humbug Day is all about sex and rejection of others. It is about selfishness and exclusion of those who are not the chosen ones, not about love. So this year in protest of the ongoing rejection by others, I plan to stop taking care of my sex needs entirely (you might say I will become temporarily asexual) until Friday when Bah-Humbug Day is all over and done with. I will be a thorn in the side of all the alphas rubbing their noses in the rejection they always show towards me, somewhat like my dear grandmother rubbed our dog's nose in its mess when it pooped on the carpet. They will not be able to say one word and will only be able to look in the mirror as I go prancing around the floor in high gear for four days running, hopefully with a happy smile on my face. On that day, I will not even open up my door and will not even look out my blinds so that nobody can affect my frame of mind; all of the NTs will simply not exist to me on that day. I have already begun this gradual process. Such revenge will serve no useful purpose and they will get even with me on Friday night, but it will allow me to keep my head high in the face of their foolishness for the duration and help me take my mind off of this dreaded day. Alphas don't care about people at all. They only want to compete, dominate and display their egos. They lives for lies and deceit. They only want an excuse.

On a lighter note, I recently did something to try to get even with three neighbors who always tried to intimidate me. They all had dogs. So I bought a bottle of "Go Here" juice from the pet store and put it in a small pocket sized squirt bottle. Then whenever I walked past their doors, I squirted the juice on their door thresholds, hoping the dogs would smell it inside and pee on the inside of the door. One of them moved away before I could find out and other unrelated priorities caused me to abandon the effort before I got any results. I wish I could get some of that dog in heat scent to use for the same purpose. I can imagine spraying that on their doorknobs and then having all those people being mobbed by every lusty dog they encountered. Another idea I've had is to build a small device that puts out a warbling ultrasonic or near ultrasonic audio tone and place it outside when the neighbors get quiet and want peace and quiet around them (which they always deny to me). They will not hear it but their dogs will and will begin climbing the walls. In short, I can enlist the help of their dogs to get back at them. I may actually do that someday.

Here's hoping that all of you have a survivable Bah Humbug Day. Feel free to join me in my Anti-Bah-Humbug Day Celebration if you wish. Think what it would be like if all of us Aspies did this in unison each year and protested the rejection of us by all the alphas. The words of John Lennon's song, "Imagine" comes to mind with a bit of a twist.

I use magic if need be
But most times they hurt themselves anyway

Most bullies are near the PDD spectrum
Karma will visit their children

I was afraid of my bullies, so the thought of getting back at them never entered my mind. Avoidance was the way I dealt with them. And although I don't consider myself to be vengeful in any way, I think karma "got back" at several of my bullies, as I see some of them on Facebook, and they're all old-looking, fat, poor, and/or divorced, and I'm married to a wonderful woman, and am into fitness and could get my picture in fitness and bodybuilding magazines if I wanted to, but I don't have to because I am lucky enough to be OK financially at this point too. The best part of this kind of "revenge", is that I didn't have to do a thing to make them the way they became, and what I did to work on myself, has put me where I am today.

Charles