It's confirmed: I must get undiagnosed: how?

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No. I also served in the National Guard, so maybe they trained it out of me? No idea.

I do have lots of motor issues, however, especially fine motor issues. So much for aspies being science geeks. I could not even pass a lab class in college due to the fact that I f**k up anything I try to do with my hands. This could be NLD too though.

I think it involves a bouncy walk, toe-walking, and/or walking without moving your arms.

Thank you.

Can't you just go to your psych with the list of things you want help with and tell them to focus in those, and that at AS social training they said you're too mildly affected to require help with social skills?

I'm also curious what would happen if you went to a new psych and told them your BPD symptoms. Without mentioning ASD. If you truly don't have an ASD they shouldn't diagnose you with one.

I found it. I definitely have to get evaluated now.

You know when some of you were looking at Asperger's and like everything fit exactly? Well I learned about Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's like everything about it is me, and it explains so many awful decisions I have made in my life, including the decision to attend my current law school over my acceptances at two law schools in Canada where I would have been much happier, and my stupid decision to join the Army, my recent obsession with curing my Asperger's/NLD, and just so much else....

It might just be a co-morbid that exists in addition to Asperger's. Out of 10/20 necessary, I meet 17.

Well holy s**t, you're finding all kinds of things wrong with you that I've never heard of..

..that list does cover quite a bit of the things you've posted about in the last little while. Maybe this is it, or at least a major piece of your puzzle, anyways. Hopefully there's an experimental drug or 10 coming out of Soviet Russia that you can have shipped stateside in some nesting dolls.

In all seriousness though, if this IS a big part of your puzzle, congrats - as now you can learn how to deal with it.

Hi and blessings.. Unfortunately this is probably not the correct diagnosis. Those questions are so generalized that many people would score very high on that, and also it is rather unlikely that such a condition would disrupt your life in the way that you are describing. I think I can give you a diagnosis, but it is not going to be pretty. What you actually probably have is something that many if not even most therapists miss diagnosing, as it is kind of rare, not too much is known about it, and it is kind of difficult to spot because, as you mentioned, the person presents to the therapist in one way only, and, also, ha ha, many therapists among others are kind of dim bulbs. Anyway what you probably actually have is called dissociative Identity disorder DID, formerly known as split personality, and no, I did not come to this conclusion because of your description of the many personae you described creating, though that clued me in a little. In any case, all of these different temporary personae are not different personalities per se, but rather one identity called the protector is probably playing.them. One of the things that clued me in that you described how in the beginning people like you and then come to hate you. That would be a characteristic of this kind of disorder.

The reason I even happen to know what I do about DID is kind of an interesting story which I will maybe tell later, but I am living with a person who has this disorder, though I never see him, as he is upstairs in the living room of my art studio, and I try to stay away when he is there, as he became very creepy after moving in, and I do believe this is intentional.. When I interviewed him he was very wonderful. I liked him so much I thought of literally adopting him as my son in that I only have daughters, though I do have a grandson.

Now do not go running to your therapist and tell him you have DID---then he will just read up on it on the internet and give you kind of a half-whacked approach to continue to get your money..The problem is DID is a very hard nut to crack as the function is to protect the child or primary personality from seeing something that is unbearable. A viable approach would probably be a behavioral one rather than an analytical one. I will continue this later if it is not too disturbing to you and give more info and some specific suggestions, but in short, the person who people like in the beginning is probably more connected to who you really are, your genuine self, then the identity that is protecting this self. The difficult part is that the protector is very cunning. Usually severe childhood abuse combined with other factors such as later life trauma triggers this kind of disorder. It is very sad for me to even think about it. The good news is that you have noticed something very off about yourself, and you are seeking a solution. A behavioral approach might be possible to implement, one little step at a time, but it would not be fun or easy. This would involve integrating these two different aspects, the primary personality and the protector, by focusing on reinforcing the behavior of the primary identity, which is the genuine child. Since you already like to play personae and are so good at it, it may be a difficult but infinitely rewarding task to focus your energy on playing your natural empathetic self, so in the beginning "as if," just like a child making a wish.

I do not think you fall into the autistic spectrum, exactly, but all of these things overlap, so a little bit of this and a little bit of that. In an case, people are more similar than different and all kinds of people imo belong here, communicating and trying to sort things out.

^^^

I think with DID you have temporary amnesia for one personality while experiencing another. If the OP doesn't experience this the narcissistic personality sounds like a good fit although maybe he also does have something like NLD because the motor skills problems and sensory issues and prosody problems seem to indicate something neurological as well. Good luck, OP.

Yeah, no temporary amnesia. Also, the personalities are not differentiated enough, in my opinion. I'm pretty sure it's either NPD or Borderline, or perhaps both. NLD is absolutely a good fit also. There is no question that I have NLD and have it bad.

Also, if something is in the DSM, why wouldn't it disrupt someone's life?

Finally, BPD is very related to DID, so it would make sense you might see some similarities in someone with BPD, but I still don't think it's bad enough for DID, though observers may disagree. Dunno.

I am not posting this to argue what Tyri0n might or might not have, but my understanding is that DID does not require "temporary amnesia" for one "personality" while experiencing another. Memory loss in DID (when it does happen) is itself a form of dissociation, apparently.

^^^

Maybe it's a form of dissociation but there is some memory loss of personal information required. Maybe temp amnesia is not the right way to put it. I do remember from class that the memory loss is an important criteria for distinguishing DID from other disorders, or psych's believe that anyway. I have a B.A. in Psychology.

Patients with this Dissociative Disorder suffer from alternation of two or more distinct personality states with impaired recall among personality states of important information.
Diagnostic criteria for 300.14 Dissociative Identity Disorder

(DSM IV - TR)
(cautionary statement)
A. The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self).

B. At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior.

C. Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

D. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance(e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures). Note: In children, thesymptoms are not attributable to imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.

Reprinted with permission from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision. Copyright 2000 American Psychiatric Association

Actually people with DID can appear very normal. My roommate, whose father killed his mother right in front of him when he was an adolescent has a job working with the public and is very charming, presumably, as he is somewhat successful at it, though I do not know for sure which personality is doing the job.. One way his life is a mess is that he is not capable of having a real relationship as when he switches to the protector identity I am assuming people get very creeped out, as I did, so he cannot have a real intimate relationship which is what the other part of himself craves for... By the way, that trauma alone that he experienced probably would not in itself be enough to cause DID. Rather it is the contextual significance of it to a particular person. The dynamics of the situation in his case were quite unusual. And yes, as the other person said, memory loss does not exactly have to be involved.

The sadness of DID is it is kind of a double-locked position. Of course a lot if not all of these various psychological disorders involve some kind of double bind, but this is worse, though there is always hope if a person hungers to consciously love and touch and be touched back.

It was a combination of factors, but what ultimately keyed me to this particular diagnosis is the thread you made about keying cars..Like I said, a lot of people would probably key cars in such a situation if they felt they could get away with it, so it is not that you did it that is particularly odd, but that you wrote about doing it. I do not see the functional value of that in terms of making any kind of integration, though you have implied you have come here to help yourself in some way achieve integration (my words, but your gist). That is when I saw there is probably some kind of split, as I suspect that when you were writing that you actually believed it would in some way lead to some kind of integration for yourself. And now it may be doing so:-) ...but if so due to a kind of a fluke.

I am assuming no one wants to be told they have DID, as the underlying implication, if that diagnosis is true, is the death of the (perceived) self, though it is really just the death of the protector, but what matters is just how it is perceived.

And of course I could be wrong in this diagnosis, but, from my perspective at least, probably not.

Last edited by littlebee on 06 Apr 2013, 2:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Also, people with DID have distinct identifies. I do not. I have different surface personas, but it's more like I have no identity at all than that I have multiple ones.

Well this is an interesting point, but it is your story. I am perceiving you as functioning here primarily from one identity (which would be, in this case, what is called the protector), and again I could be wrong. And I did not suggest you have multiple identities, which point I think I covered very explicitly in my original diagnosis of DID when I said those different personae you are playing which you wrote about are probably not the same as an identity.

It's possible. I was sexually abused for several years by someone with DID as a child. I wonder if it can be transferred like that.

It was called MPD back then.

This would totally explain why, growing up, I was always told by church people that I was demon possessed. I still don't think the personality splits are strong enough to qualify though. Borderline can include some disassociation and personality splitting as well, but it's at a much lower level than DID.

littlebee, how familiar are you with BPD? What about my experience leads you to think that it's DID instead of Borderline?

Hey I'm not mad at you. Wrongplanet is not exclusive to Aspergers as far as I know... I am in the same boat as you, when it comes to diagnoses and not fitting all the criteria.

Another of my exes who still cares about me helped me make this checklist to take to a psychiatrist. My mother agreed with most of it. Does it sound like BPD, DID, or NPD?

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