Wasted Intellect

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Test scores aside and seeing this topic in a purely intrinsic and perceptual idea of self intellect I think I spent far too much energy trying to navigate the neuro typical world versus having energy at all to develop me and my passions and I hope that now I am more able to settle into my personal interest.

Well, seeing as I currently do nothing more productive than sit around and read novels , watch cartoons , go on this site and daydream when I have a verbal IQ in the superior range and a B.A. degree with honours , I'd say I'm wasting my intellect. I will be trying to go back to school to train for something specific that might actually prepare me for a job this September so there's a possibility of me doing something useful in time. I certainly don't think I have some great potential to save humanity, cure cancer or be the next Mozart but I do believe I have the potential to contribute something to society. Hopefully I will fulfil this potential in time, better late than never.

Yeah, wasted intellect and/or time. I feel like I've been farting around for years doing "sidekick" jobs (cashier, reception, dental assistant, etc.) when with my smarts I could have been the boss.
Part of my problem is I don't have a very good imagination. Once in a while maybe I'll get an idea but most the time I need an external "spark". Give me a problem and I'll find you a solution.
Another part of my personal experience of wasted intellect/time, I believe, is sexism. Females aren't supposed to be good at math and the sciences or industrial arts. I know women do go into those fields but they've been the exception rather than the norm. I was the only girl in metal shop in high school in the 80s. I was the one who won the science olympiad award out of the whole school. No one ever took me aside and encouraged me to do anything with my abilities. When I graduated high school I went and got a cashier job because I didn't know what else to do with myself.
I fell into dental assisting and then between working in that field for over a decade and then being a stay at home mom for a few years, I'm pretty much unemployable in this job market. So, I finally went to college....which is where I should have went when I was 18, not 38.

Regarding IQ, I really don't think it means a whole lot. Especially if it's really designed to measure NT intelligence. I got invited to join Mensa after taking their IQ test online some years ago but thought the whole thing sounded a bit contrived, kind of like how you're supposed to feel special if you're offered an American Express credit card.

My IQ has turned out average (around 100) in clinical testing, and my academic progress has been good (a master of science with good grades), so I do not feel that I have wasted any intelligence, but rather got much more out of it than many others. I think conscientiousness and associative horizon has been important factors in this regard, because of the need to score well on the core values in university; judgement and independence.

Definitely. everyone goes on about how smart I am, yet I feel like I'm the biggest underachiever ever. I haven't really done anything with my life besides studying the topics I'm interested in deeply. Once I'm done with something I move on and never look at it again. It's a shame, really. If I just stuck to something I'd probably be pretty well off. I honestly think that if it weren't for family pressures, I would have probably not made it through college as much as I have.

I managed to get hold of some test records from long ago that put my IQ at 135.
The same tests note that I have organizational issues and an underlying deficit in rote processing of information and had a lot of trouble with handwriting.
I scored in the 95th+ percentile in everything but spelling, where I scored in the 5th percentile.
I was invited to begin taking college level science classes in 9th grade.

I dreamed of being a scientist... I went to an Ivy League University and another top University, but I never graduated, I spent a chunk of time unemployed and have achieved only minor promotion at work.

My dream was to be a scientist, but I became a graphic designer. This actually aligns well with my skills, but I feel I missed my calling.

Somehow I managed to hold onto my job for the better part of two decades and have been married for the better part of three decades. I own my own house and have two kids.

When I was diagnosed with AS, the Psychiatrist said that he had rarely seen someone with such clear symptoms who coped so well. I don't know how much of that relative success is due to my efforts and how much is due to my amazing and wonderful NT wife, but that's the only solace I have when I read about new scientific work and feel miserable for not doing that work.

I am glad I can still enjoy reading about it, though. I have in recent years added to my lasting interest in Physics and Astronomy an interest in Microbiology and virology. Contemplating these sciences gives me a feeling of the patternicity of the universe that is probably the closest thing I know to a religious feeling.
Also, in recent years I have come to enjoy math for it's own sake, when before I saw it as only interesting in the service of science.

I wish I had understood Aspergers when I was in college--I think I would have been able to realize my dreams if I had known--but that's just idle speculation now.

This thread is rather prescient, as I've been feeling this way for the past couple of days. I came across a quote a few nights ago, "nothing is as common as wasted talent." It was like a punch in the gut.

I'm coming to terms with the overwhelming likelihood that I am just another grad school casualty and that my dreams of being an academic (more precisely, a tenured professor at some university somewhere) were but so much fairy dust. It's hard not to be bitter, and impossible not to despair, but I must move on with my life somehow. But how? That is the question. Right now it's looking pretty bleak.

It's also looking like my potential will only ever be expressed through my hobbies. I write pretty well. I could write a novel if I had the time, and it might actually turn out good. I'm also one of those Aspies who's all but a congenital musical prodigy. My formal training is next to zero other than what I've taught myself, and I need to learn enough to where the music constantly playing in my head (full symphonies at times!) can be put down on paper and made tangible. You can get an incredible amount of mileage just knowing time signatures and the various scales, but I need to learn notation and the more esoteric theoretical stuff.

At minimum I just want to be able to record some weird little rock and roll album. Bass guitar is the only instrument I can claim to be an expert at; throw in a good drum program such as Addiction and some sloppy guitar and I'd have something. If I can record one solid album that will be a gigantic milestone in my life. For various reasons I will have to do it alone. I think that's doable with today's technology.