Aspie males offensively generalizing about women!! !

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Yeah it is hard to stop using gender words, it's more a case of using them carefully (generalising and using in a derogatory way are a good way of making you look like you need a spanking )... 'female' is about the worst of them as it does make things seem like they're off the discovery channel

At the very least it's best to avoid using gender words as blanket terms all the time, it's a good way to annoy those being put under the blanket term (like I object to the term 'asian'...I'm half-chinese half-caucasian, and I highly disagree with being lumped into a group with 2 billion other people nothing like me...)

I am Aspie...hear me roar!

Ok, I’m confused, why is this thread here and not in the love and dating forum? Oh well, I sure wouldn’t have seen it if it was there and had the opportunity to put my 2 cents in. I don't know who's going to bash me first, the men or women here, I'd say the women will.

First, I want to say, even though I haven’t been here long I don’t think I’ve read anywhere yet in this forum anything derogatory against women. If they have, I didn’t notice it.

I tend to see it both ways though and figure we're all here, like it or not, might as well make the best of it.

I’m a female Aspie but I am by far not a typical woman, NT or apparently from what I’ve read AS. I have 3 kids, I’ve been married and divorced because well, this female AS doesn’t like affection and NEEDS to be alone but he took it personally. Thought I was being cold and had no “luv” for him, blah, blah. Neither one of us knew I had AS, he still doesn’t and hopefully never will. Getting married and having babies was my attempt at doing what’s normal. That’s one of the reasons I went for my diagnosis last year, I had to know why I was so different and now that I understand myself better I can post on the subject.

I dress like a woman (well, jeans and t-shirt on off days and khaki’s on work days) and look 100% woman and been told I’m pretty but I don’t wear jewelry or perfume but I wear makeup. I’m odd though and different in the way I think. I think part of it is my upbringing and partly AS, but I am one of the most non-judgmental people I know, really. I see it as worthless, a waste of my thinking time. I don’t care if you all are men, women, kids or monkeys, as long as you support me with my AS and some health concerns. There are other issues here that are interesting as well.

I probably understand men more than most women because not only do I have AS but there’s something about the way my brains wired that make me tend to think like a male. I’m very simple minded but I read that’s common for Aspies.

I’ve only shared this with 2 people in my life and I’m not sure if I should put this here but you all don’t me, I hope not anyway.
I’m not bi and I’ve never been with a woman and have no desire but I love looking at women’s bodies. To me, a nice looking woman, you know, not obese or a waif, just average to hot women are very nice to look at but it doesn’t turn me on. There’s just something about women’s bodies and I just can’t help but look. I even like to watch women dance. That’s the best because I can look without them knowing I’m actually checking them out.

Shoot, I’m 42, look 35, act like a 25 year old, I’m an Aspie and I think like a man who doesn’t have time to worry about how others see me because I’m too busy reeling in my own world. What a mess.

After my DX I decided I wasn’t going to do romantic relationships nor date anymore. I prefer fantasy over reality anyway so it doesn’t bother me. There are a few men out there if they knew what they’ve done with me in my mind and in my bedroom, they’d feel like a porn star. So I guess for me, men are the object...sorry.

Real romance is just too much for this Aspie, I don’t “get” it. I don’t understand that kind of love, never have and never will. I’m too “alone”. I feel like I have these walls around me and no one can get in.

Men don’t ever bother me or make me feel like an object and I even work in the men’s department in a retail store. I don’t feel like anything around men, just a person. They don’t know I feel like that though, they just see another woman so I try to just be respectful to them.

If a man happens to make an advance though and if I get it, I feel threatened and steer clear of him. One time some guy I work with kept persisting but I guess I lost control of appearing normal and my behavior got weird and he figured out I’m not as typical as I look, lol.

I sometimes feel bad for my kids. They’re wonderful, they should have been given a more normal Mom but I try to not let my AS show around them. I love them. I type a lot too.

Again, I'm not saying that there are absolutely no differences at all, just that I think these differences are less significant than many would suggest. For a chart on the proportion of female physics faculty members in different countries, see http://www.hypatiamaze.org/laura/bassi_p6.html. It turns out that I misremembered somewhat; the only country that's really close to 50% is Hungary. Still, I think the chart does demonstrate that gender differences in scientific achievement vary quite a bit among different cultures. As for the old "where's the female Einstein" trope, maybe there would have been more women scientists in the past had there been more equal opportunities for them. It wasn't typical for even upper-class females in the West to receive much in the way of education (particularly in science) until fairly recently. Talk about your self-fulfilling prophecies. Nevertheless, Marie Curie was no slouch, if you're looking for an example of a "female Einstein."

I object to placing too much stock in these kinds of gender essentialist brain theories because they're just so limiting. I don't think a man who relates well with other people has a female brain, nor does a succesful woman physicist have a male brain. Such suggestions are rather insulting and constraining to both genders. I'm a girl whose rather atypical in many respects and I always score as having a male brain on those silly tests. I find that idea rather irritating, though. If my reproductive organs are female then so is my brain, period. The whole idea of gendered brains works much better for those who fit neatly in boxes than those of us who are constantly made to feel that we're somehow not real women/men.

Then I am limited.

Men and women refer to each other in generalities just like those on the spectrum refer to NT's in generalities. Conversation would be extremely difficult if you could not say male, female, Aspie, NT, ect. And I have NO CLUE what is supposed to be meant by using any terms such as women or females as insulting or something to be avoided. That is like saying it is insulting to call someone autistic. It only is if you think there is something wrong with it.

If someone has had bad experiences with women or with NT's than what is the big deal about them talking about it. Perhaps they can learn something instead of expecting them to be quiet or politically correct. Isn't it annoying enough to have to concern yourself with being "sensitive" on sites with NT's.

It really does depend how you use it...subconsciously it's easy to be misinterpreted, especially online

Eg: I'm a guy, looking for a special someone... (that's hardly insulting, that's sweet! )

Eg: I'm a guy, looking for a female... (that translates to, I want a vajayjay on legs, kthx)

Eg: I'm a guy, looking for a girlfriend... (hardly insulting either, someone wants love)

Eg: I'm a guy, and I have trouble understanding women... (borderline...)

Eg: I'm a guy having girl troubles... (that would mean a specific woman is the source of his problems...no harm there)

It's very similar to the NT thing - you really NEED that term to describe/label the group in question, but it can be used either negatively, positively or straight down the middle. Do I mind being called an NT? Heck no, call me it as much as you wish. When someone goes on a rant about how we're all evil...it's like, well that person has clearly been dragged through HELL by their nose hairs and has a right to rant and THEN SOME, but gee thanks for giving me a chance!

I think I probably just confused the situation even more

Hmmm. I'd agree that autistics are among the most stereotyping people around. But I haven't experienced much gender-specific stereotyping, and I sure hope I haven't exhibited such. If you're strict on rules and like to categorise, you're probably more prone to stereotyping people, I would think.
I have not done a lot of socializing with women, so my skills in that area are very poor compared to my skills at socialing with males. Even so, I have on occasion conversed with them for some time, after which I tend to fade away and lose interest. But that's something that generally happens and isn't related to them being female. I'm sure I don't have any stereotypes other than that they aren't blokes and probably more emotional than males.

I try not to "generalize" per se, but I do make conclusions based on what I have seen in certain people.

For example, since I am looking for a partner, I browse dating sites. I am 27 years old, and I have noticed that many of the females on thses dating sites that are close to my age are looking for someone with a full-time job, at least 6' tall, and have a college degree.

(The problem is that I am 5'10", and I will be attending college full-time beginning in August).

The people I have seen that are of traditional college age were not willing to date anyone older than, say, 24.

Tim

Oh boo hoo, you're 2inches below their "absolute" threshold. Stop your whinging and put some effort into finding out how to make yourself more attractive to the ladies. Maybe then you will realise that if they like you, the fact that you are not exactly six foot or more will not matter to them. What women say is not always what they mean, and yes there are ways to discover what they really mean. Seek and you shall find.

How do I discover what people mean?

Tim

Questions, Questions, Questions, Don't ask straight out ask a question that is manipulating the same answer you want, does not have to be in 1 question, can ask many to get your goal, then apply what you found out to strategies to attack her with what she thinks is your secondary brain down below... By way don't keep asking questions you can find out questions in a normal conversation without them even knowing you’re asking a question...

Basically it goes On & On & On & On & On, tell me when the convo is over on manipulating stuff out of the female to find out how she is ticking, what she wants, what her desire is, then applying the best form of attacking her, then about 2 or so months down the line or maybe more they wonder what happened to they guy and start putting I don't ( Want lying cheating male )... If you want to play the game then a game it shall be...


And if you want to say this is not true we are just more complex animals that can think doing them little dances… Or even so just learn a dirty dance … & say something dirty in a seductive way... Yes you will get slap but who cares its easyier than trying to get the ones who want Heavy Communication.

And your chat up line better not be someone else’s or so common or plain spice it up, man wish I had more confidence lol

Reason men think you as sex objects A) you normal do use yourself as a sex object to get something... B) You tease males with the intent of not giving them anything (90% of sexual assaults probably) C) You moan at a guy when he gives up too early... Or you moan when they won't get the point No means no, yet it can mean yes and no... your confusing the cough out of us... D) anyone else got anything to add....

Males are simple...

You drive them up the wall; drag them through bushes, bang they heads against the wall...


They leave it there... I would say males and females are the same....

Can class me as a parrot mate for life... Thats why I have a Pet Parrot... lol