Neurotypicals should stop asking aspies and everybody this:

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I really didn't think you were targeting me specifically, but it did seem like you were generally targeting everyone who has issues with these sorts of greetings.



That sentence made it seem like you were talking about everyone who posted in this thread or any other threads about the same subject.

If we're just talking about the OP, well the OP's reasons for disliking these greetings are different than mine, but that doesn't make them any less valid or less of a real issue for them. When I read the OP's post, it seemed like they were legitimately struggling with this, and as I said, just because it doesn't seem like a big deal to you doesn't mean it's not a big deal to the person dealing with it.

I didn't notice the original date this thread was created until you mentioned it. In any case just because your reply was only in response to the OP's message doesn't mean it can't make others feel bad that are dealing with the same and similar struggles. As I previously said, I don't think it was your intention to make anyone feel bad, but I was just trying to make you aware of how it was coming across. Or at least how it was coming across to me. It's entirely possible that no one else interpreted your reply the same way I did.

You're right that you can't really stop people from asking these things in general and they don't have bad intentions when they do it, but that doesn't negate the negative effect it can have on people who struggle with these issues. I'm sure some people are able to get over it and let it go in time, but even if they can, it likely takes a lot of work and personal growth to get to that point, and not something someone can just flip a switch and suddenly be okay with.

You might notice that the posts above your latest post are actually saying similar sort of things as I was saying. KraftieKortie said the same as what I said too:

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It seems I always get made to feel like I've offended someone when everybody else is practically thinking the same thing as me.

I know you said what I said, Joe.

Like you (and others) said, these questions are inevitable. No harm is meant. One should just "go with the flow," so to speak. Even the OP expressed a similar sentiment.

Just because we don't get the meaning of "how are you doing?" doesn't mean that other people have to change to suit our needs. Some of you guys are starting to look like those SJWs that want people to bow down to their moral standards. I guarantee NTs are not saying this in jest, and that they are just asking us about how we feel.

Just because we don't like it when people say this, doesn't mean that they should stop saying it.

I have an automatic response to this that just comes out without my having to think about it at all; "Not too bad, how are you?" The problem is that I very rarely ask people how they are unless they've asked me first, so if I do ask, the dialogue often goes something like this:

Me: "How are you?"

Them: "I'm good, how are you?"

Me: "Not too bad, how are you?"

That makes it pretty obvious that I was just using a rote script. I don't think people really care though, because "how are you" is just a script for most NTs too.

They might not care all that much; but they care at least a little.

In the morning, or when I wake up and i'm particularly in a bad or stressed mood (which is most mornings):

Day 1
Parent: You feeling alright?
Me: yeah whatever
Parent: *grumbles & rolls eyes*

Text from Dad: how are you doing?
Me: alright
Dad: anything u need help with?
Me: no (but tell myself I need help but don't like accepting help)
At which point i just ignore the rest of his texts because we don't see eye to eye.

Day 2
Parent: u alright? (bear in mind I get asked this everytime i wake up, so I avoid them as much as possible)
Me: no
Parent: why?
Me: cos im stressed
Parent: why are you stressed?
Me: no job, nothing to do with my life but sit at my computer and play games without a purpose

And they go on to lecture me about getting a job and how it's so simple for them because they're old they think they're so wise