I hate Asperger's

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You are more than welcome to your opinion, but don't you dare insult those with a positive view of themselves.

I'm sorry that you feel this way.
The reason people are happy about it is because we are noticing it from the prospective of not including the problems that are really about other people. Imagine if everybody surrounding you was an aspie, and their brains all generally were like yours. It'd be different then. If you think about it from the perspective of people who do not think at all like you and are difficult for you to kinda be around, then it's harder, but it's not something either person is doing wrong really; it's just not the same connection that you'd have if it were all aspies or something. Anyway, who's to prove that it's aspies that have the "disorder?" Maybe it's the people without AS. It doesn't really matter, but the only thing miserable is other people finding the way we do things to be bad or wrong, whether it's the way we think, the way we react to things, or just the way we do anything.
Some people would wish that they were "neurotypical." Some people would wish that everybody around them was an aspie. Some people just want everybody to get along.
If you feel miserable, it's doesn't mean that your brain is wrong and terrible and under a horrible curse.

I hate it because of the social problems. I had been with friends a lot but my best friends moved and after the cool ones moved it basically went down hill from there. There was the worst kind of bully who moved in ,the ones who get you thinking you are hated and your friends are really just people who just feel bad for you. I remember what eh told me. People said "If you start fighting him you won't be hated or mistreated by them either." I remember him slapping me with his shirt and I grabbed it from him and ripped it he did NoT say or do anything after that. In other words it is a thing that people hate Aspies. I think many people NTs and Aspies alike are born programmed to hate other aspies. No matter how you see Aspergers. I know Some NTs won't. ,most of the time people will give the un desirable ones that they see lower then them a living hell for being different. I really think people are programmed to hate aspies for some reason.
A couple examples of "Aspie bashing": AT the race track my dad and another person were talking and his son had AS, he said his son can be so idiotic because he barely does anything right unless he is on the dirt bike and then he knows how to ride, My dad said "Yeah that's the last thing he needs to learn" They both laughed.
-After fainting in gym class being ashamed another kid said "At least you don't have something like Aspergers or something stupid like that" I went with it
-Over hearing a converasation about it someone was talking about an autistic student with it and said "He should just go die he talks about it so much"
-A speaker who had the exact opposite views as me about AS when everyone was asked what they thought my mom said "We hated it". One of the times I agreed

It think that the reason that people say that aspergers "makes me who i am" are referring to how social they think that they are. Because when I was a kid, I was an extreme extrovert and social rules didn't apply to me, which made me normal as if I were drunk. So yes, aspergers made me who I was.

Joe: at least you have a job. I'm unsure if I'll ever get a basic 9-5 job or even part time. I may have been able to handle a job before I developed bipolar but I was never given the chance by job interviewers. I always came so close to getting a job but it always fell away from me. And a fool like me can't help but think it happened for a reason.

Currently, the only problem I'm having with my autism is that I can never seem to talk to the people I want to. I have a very narrow focus view when it comes to feeling socially awkward. The many years I spent on Ritalin and the brief manic days make me more able to communicate with people.

I suppose my fear of change and rigid routines still hold me back from doing a lot of things. I have severe sensory issues too but they were also a medication side effect. Since I went off meds I'm not nearly as sensitive.

These days my autism isn't much of a problem, though it is. I'm unfit for work and I've been feeling so lonely about the idea I will never get into another relationship. I only like one person and of course they have to be a popular musician that is way out of my league. I'm hardly bothered by my autism though compared to my ADHD my mental health issues.

I like to have a balance between negative symptoms and good traits autism/ADHD/bipolar gives me. Autism only makes me who I am because it's the way in which my brain grew and every experience was influenced by it. All my interests and decisions made were made because of it, and that's the same with my other conditions. I take advantage of the good it gives me like an attention to detail which makes my band photography stand out from the rest and my intense focus on other art projects. Or the way I can quickly memorize facts despite having barely a short term memory at all. I ignore pop culture, peer pressure and the mass media. I can spend a lot of time alone and I'm probably better off than when I'm surrounded by people. I'm pretty good at planning and problem solving too. I really hate gossip too. My extended family have a lot of problems getting along and as for me, I hang out with my young nephews. We talk Skylanders and about other video games. And then I have to hear people b**** about not only the other adults but the children in the car ride home. It seems some people just always have to be complaining about other people. It shows how self-centered they are. I'm just talking about the three people I usually share a car with and nobody else at the moment. I was actually surprised they could be that 'catty.'

So, there are some good parts and bad parts about having to live with autism. I do self-advocacy too so I have a chance to get people to understand autism, and one such project involves not only being artistic but having to build on my artistic skills. And I love a good challenge.

By the way, I'm really obsessing about that one person I love and I have a lot of anxiety and depression over it and many other things going on in my life, so it's not like things are going any easier for me.

Sometimes I hate Aspergers. I really hated it the day that I went for my dream job of being an autism trainer at work and failed the group interview because of my autistic traits. The people on the panel thought I was too socially awkward to be able to deliver training to people. I really, really hated my AS that night. Most of the time, though, I live with it as best as I can. I am aware that I don't experience quite as much isolation as some other people with it though as I am quite a sociable person with people I know so a lot of people just see my eccentricities as "random" and say that they enjoy being around me for this reason.

I think co-morbid disorders like anxiety and depression really play a part in how much people hate their Asperger's. I also think people need to learn to detach from their obsessional hatred of certain conditions. I was the same way when I came off ADHD meds after 3 years. I was suddenly faced with a lot of symptoms I didn't have to deal with because the medication made them easier to manage. And the meds made me motivated and capable of absorbing so much information and learn pretty much anything. People thought I was capable of anything, but it was just the meds. Without them I can barely focus and when I can I get bored or exhausted easily. I'm really struggling with motivation too.

I've dealt with mood disorder related depression for years and I've tried to kill myself over it, because of my AS symptoms. But now my depressive episodes are less about AS or ADHD and more about my relationships with other people. But even my own depression, criplling as it is can be overcome for a time until the next bout begins.

I know people don't want to hear this. It's difficult to find your own ways of coping with your issues, especially if you hate something that's going to be a part of you forever.

My mixed episodes can switch so rapidly that I don't want bipolar anymore. It all seems like a bit much, so I guess I can understand, but I try to look at my strengths and take advantage of the symptoms.

I'm a practical person and some worries just seem counter-productive. I can be disabled by panic attacks and whatever else so I understand that sometimes you can't just ignore a problem and it goes away, but personally I'd rather focus on things that make me content.
My social skills are a little bit better but I still say things that would say otherwise and there's still a lot of awkwardness and cluelessness. I suppose all I really care about is just to talk to and get to know one person and I hardly care about anything else.

When I'm depressed, I mean like severe so f***ing suicidal and angry at every person for being whatever way they are, I just leave them and go do the things I enjoy: watching TV, reading comic books, playing video games or doing something creative. It cheers me up enough to completely change my mood.

I mean right now I'm unsure of what to do with this time and energy I have but I'm trying not to get frustrated or depressed over it. I suppose you have to understand what can happen when I'm in this situation.

I don't know if this has been say or not. I mean there is about four pages here of responses and I am not going to read all them. So forgive me if I only repeating something already said.
I just want to tell you as was where you r at about six months and some change ago. I spent years hating the fact of this thing called aspergers and wish some day I would snap out of it or figured out a way to act normal enough so I could fit in. I was so tired of people leaving my life over and over again that if I ever wrote a book about my life it would be called 5 minutes because that seemed about how long my friendships lasted. I was postive this was because of the aspies but it wasn't it was because I was filled with so much self hate that I was pushing people away because I had become so gaurded and proteccted that I did not want anyone close to me. I was so gaurded that if people no longer wanted to stay it would be a tounge lashing and a good bye but no tears or sorrow at the loss. I was so convienced I was unable to feel anything deep about other people. I was afraid concepts like love and hurt at a goodbye where lost on me. I had convinced myself it was all because of this label. I was wrong and thank God I was. I finally about six months ago and some change ago felt true loss for maybe the first time as my first love said goodbye and the break up was becuase of something I did. So here I was with a broken heart and the guilt of knowing I hurt the only person I ever trully cared about. I thought my life was over and because of my limitations I would never have this again. I was more than suicidal at the time and the fact I made it threw with no help is merical. Yet sometimes the greatest blessings come at the darkest moments. See I had been given the gift of honesty and for the first time look at myself with more honesty than I ever had before. I did what I had learned in my days of 12 step meetings and I put pen to paper and became fearless in analizing my life because I did not want to be the person that could cause someone I loved that kind of pain. I was desperate for change and change came. As I wrote and looked at my life changed. The parts that changed where my views on life as a whole and slowy all the self hatred and anger died. I got to see beyond my aspergers and come face to face with my humanity. The label no longer mattered and I got to step from the world of different that I lived in my entire life and join the human race. I saw what they called aspergers as just my shortcommings but my trouble with people no longer made me different it made me human because all of us have our strengths and weakness that life. So from their I got to loose my label and become dave. I also realize that I had without realizing it been so focused on the problems and hoping that if some day I could afford the right specilist I might get better and then I would be ok. Yet I am ok and I always have been and I almost allowed this label to rob me of that and my humanity. I not on the wrong planet any longer. I am on the right planet for people who are just like me perfectly flawed. Today I look at my shortcommings as my gift because this is where I can grow,learn and accept and in time pass the knowledge on to a person who is like me and might be where I was and share with them my change and help them show them their change. I also learn this is my life and my fault. What that means is I no longer blame my bad behavior or lack of social contacts on aspies because there is no aspies there is only me and the rest is so what. As longer as you focus on problems your bliinded to solutions. No solution is found in the problem. I hope you can find your peace and move from a life where there is problems to a life where you realize that your life is as limitless as your willing to let it be.

OP and Joe90, I agree completely. Having AS is like being cursed! There is absolutely nothing good about it whatsoever. Everything that gives me joy are things I only like because my brain is faulty in the first place.
There was a time I didn’t want a cure because I feared it’d change my personality, since it would have to mean changing my neurons. Now I don’t care, if it changes my personality who cares? I just want a cure!

The only thing I can do is kill my traits as best I can. One by one. Working on them and unlearn them depending on the trait. I’m not sure if all are possible to unlearn but I am sure working on stopping those I can and easing those I can’t. I’ve never stimmed in public for instance, but in private I would at times (although never a lot). Now I am fighting it in private, so it’s less part of me. Since I never done it all that much it doesn’t cost me much at all, it’s only a matter of remembering not to. I’ve been making good process with eye contact, which was a big issue for me. I try hard to be more aware around people as opposed to in a way being ‘turned off’ as I often am.
I wanna de-aspie myself every way I can.

I think it's also confusion what upsets me too. I am very confused. I don't know what I really want out of life. Everything seems so stressful, things like work. I want to work, I don't want to be one of these scroungers, and I have to work because I am too high-functioning not to work. But when I'm at work, I find lots of little things stress me out. I feel claustrophobic at the thought of having to be somewhere and having to follow these certain rules and there is no escape unless you become ill or laid up or something. People just say to me, ''everyone feels like that, we can't all have what we want, you've just got to get your arse into gear''. Yes I know if most people got the opportunity to not have to work, they wouldn't, and I know nobody really likes having to be somewhere every day, being told what to do. But I feel it affects me more than the average person. It seems most NTs (if they don't suffer with stress, anxiety or depression) can just get on with it and manage to cope. Besides, work is much more fun when you've got better social skills anyway.

I work at a care home as a cleaner (answer to a question I saw earlier in the thread) and although it may sound simple, there are still stresses attached to it. It's a big, huge building with about 80 rooms, and although I don't have to clean all those rooms in one day, it's still stressful, because they can't seem to get the staff, people keep on leaving, and they're making us do more work for less money. Also they have made the cleaners do things like feed the residents at lunchtime, all because they haven't got enough care staff, and I did not sign up to do anything like that. Also I haven't been trained for that sort of thing either, and they won't give us the training. And it's more little things what are starting to stress me out there, and I've had enough talks with the manager. I just want to leave and do something what doesn't involve much awkward contact with people like customers, clients or patients. Just general interaction with other co-workers I can manage. I have been in this job for a year now and I have found it isn't something I want to do. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to change what job I want to do, as I've been told that's what life is all about; realising your strengths and weaknesses and following your goals. But it feel like I am being fussy. But why not? I'm unhappy with who I am and where my life is going at the moment, I just want to be happy in my job at least, and I'm not going to stop trying until I get there. Yeah, people are right, I AM going to get my arse into gear.