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Marky9
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20 Feb 2014, 7:21 am

The word "ret*d" is today so emotionally charged that I avoid its use.



zer0netgain
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20 Feb 2014, 9:52 am

Marky9 wrote:
The word "ret*d" is today so emotionally charged that I avoid its use.


Another "victory" for political correctness. :roll:

Inventing new words so we can avoid using old words just gives a new word by which to be abused.



Lumi
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20 Feb 2014, 10:25 am

Social retardation seems accurate for my social level.


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b9
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20 Feb 2014, 11:55 am

Topic Title wrote:
We are "socially ret*d"?


i do not subscribe to the notion of "we". i have never wanted to fit into the same box as anyone else or wanted anyone else to fit with me in my box.
i do not like hugs because they seem to try to pull me into a foreign world of another persons personal space, and the "warmth" that i detect is like the "warmth" that one feels on a train seat left by a stranger when one sits down. it is not a sensation i like.

the notion of "we" similarly seems to pull me into a notional embrace, and i do not like it. i am me, and despite how many different perspectives on the world there are, mine remains peculiar to me.

qawer wrote:
I begin to acknowledge that I am "socially ret*d".
the word "begin" to me means "commence", and it indicates no progress other than the initiating impulse. how can you have any compiled notion of what you are considering if you are only at the beginning of your pondering? anyway, i will ignore that snag in order to address the rest.

qawer wrote:
I realize this is partly because I do not have an innate social survival strategy (i.e. having no pack mentality, I was "meant to" deal with life on my own), and partly because I dislike the social hierarchy that is inherent to NT socialization.

i guess that is also similar to my circumstance, but i never cared about the rules and regulations outside of my field of concern (which is limited to my own internal reality). i know how not to go to jail, and that is enough for me.

feathers can fly and spittle from shaking heads can be cast in all directions as i leave a room full of bewildered and affronted people, but i did nothing inherently wrong. who cares beyond that frame of reference? i can still breathe and i can still go home and do what i want, so all is well.


qawer wrote:
Do you think you are "socially ret*d"?


i have no capacity for socialization, but i do not consider myself to be "ret*d" in that respect because i have not invested my efforts into social pursuits. in the same way as i could be considered aerodynamically ret*d for not being able to glide as far as even a chicken can glide when dropped from a height, so could i be considered to be socially ret*d.
can you swim like a porpoise? can you hover like a bee? can you run like a gazelle?

i can not be bothered to take into account any possible social reactions to my behaviour.

i can not understand how so many people need other people to "complete" them. i was a finished product when i was born.



michael517
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20 Feb 2014, 3:58 pm

Ouch.

So true.



droppy
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20 Feb 2014, 5:21 pm

If by 'ret*d' you mean 'can't/has a hard time understanding typical social interaction' then yes I am.
People confuse my social problems with not being able to socialize but that is false. I can socialize, it's just that I do it in my own way and people either think I can't socialize or that I look creepy.
My biggest issues in social interactions are the scarce capability to get body language/facial expressions and the sensory issues that prevent me from focusing on conversations and being around too many people talking at the same time. While I get extremely socially anxious in some situations my social anxiety is not costant and it's not realy a daily issue for me.
When I take my med my sensory issues get much less worse and I usually can talk to people even if around there is a lot of noise. I still have troubles focusing on conversations and getting facial expressions but without big part of the sensory issues it's much better.
Being socially ret*d doesn't mean not wanting to socialize, not liking the way NTs socialize, or not being able to because you're shy. It means not being able to socialize in the 'typical' way no matter what, mainly because you don't get social cues and/or can't learn how to socialize 'typically'.
I have never learned how to socialize 'typically' but still I was able to socialize with some people who were able to understand me.
My social issues are my last problem because I have never put much effort into socializing and have never made it a big goal in my life. I get along with some people and that's nice but I don't care about having a very large group of friends I wouldn't even be able to keep in contact with frequently. I have never considered socializing that much important therefore it hasn't become my primary problem. My real problems are sensory issues, the body language/facial expressions difficulty and the rituals. I can live with the rest.



GregCav
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20 Feb 2014, 6:47 pm

ret*d is a french word meaning "to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede. "

I fit this description. Probably worse than slow, like non-existant.

NT groups seem to have an inate "group" mentality about them. They are social in a way I am not, and can not be.
Whereas I can not bring myself to care about them, or what they think, or what they say. It's all just stupid stuff about what their dog did, what their son did, what their neighbour did. Why the hell would I care to hear about somebody elses neighbour?

I just sit there bored brainless and wait for the topic to change to something interesting, which it never does.



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21 Feb 2014, 9:55 am

What social hierarchy?


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capricasix
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24 Feb 2014, 8:29 pm

Some time ago, Mr. Six and I invited one of my old friens from college and her hubbie. It was a nice dinner, they hang out until late, despite bringing their baby, which was ok. After they left, Mr. Six said I shouldn't stand waiting for an invitation back so soon, if ever. I replied "hey, they're ok people, at least let's wait and see". He was right. I often thought about it, not anymore. "There are rude people in the world, I'm just sad when you don't see it".
How can one agree with the term "retardness" with these examples in mind?



ImAnAspie
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24 Feb 2014, 10:15 pm

capricasix wrote:
Some time ago, Mr. Six and I invited one of my old friens from college and her hubbie. It was a nice dinner, they hang out until late, despite bringing their baby, which was ok. After they left, Mr. Six said I shouldn't stand waiting for an invitation back so soon, if ever. I replied "hey, they're ok people, at least let's wait and see". He was right. I often thought about it, not anymore. "There are rude people in the world, I'm just sad when you don't see it".
How can one agree with the term "retardness" with these examples in mind?


I don't get it. What did they do wrong? Not invite you over their place?


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capricasix
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25 Feb 2014, 3:51 am

ImAnAspie wrote:
capricasix wrote:
Some time ago, Mr. Six and I invited one of my old friens from college and her hubbie. It was a nice dinner, they hang out until late, despite bringing their baby, which was ok. After they left, Mr. Six said I shouldn't stand waiting for an invitation back so soon, if ever. I replied "hey, they're ok people, at least let's wait and see". He was right. I often thought about it, not anymore. "There are rude people in the world, I'm just sad when you don't see it".
How can one agree with the term "retardness" with these examples in mind?


I don't get it. What did they do wrong? Not invite you over their place?


Yes. Not me in particular. Us as a couple. It's like Christmas: people give presents to each other. In this case, we got none.



KingdomOfRats
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25 Feb 2014, 8:33 am

zer0netgain wrote:
Marky9 wrote:
The word "ret*d" is today so emotionally charged that I avoid its use.


Another "victory" for political correctness. :roll:

Inventing new words so we can avoid using old words just gives a new word by which to be abused.

those of us with intelectual disability are abused,limited,made to feel inferior and dehumanised by people who use that term whether theyre using it towards us or someone who doesnt have intelectual disability, its still relating it back to us regardless.
it has nothing to do with political correctness even if some people may use it as such,people who think its all PC woud think very differently if they were amongst those of us who are directly affected by such a prehistoric and untrue term.

am a very un PC person and absolutely hate 'ret*d' for everything it stands for,it goes back to at least the hitler years when we were gathered from institutions and residential homes and gassed for being mentaly ret*d 'useless eaters'.


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