How many friends do you have? (I will define friends)

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Six. These are the people who will grow worried and eventually try to contact me when I "vanish" off the radar for a few weeks.

I don't like your definition of "true friend", though. "Persistent friend", perhaps? Quite a few people don't feel like they have to be in constant contact.

Four of those six people are friends who are worried about my current financial issues. If I did not contact them or I missed more than one of our regular meetings, they would try to check up on me because they would worry that I had lost my apartment.

One of them is a support person at the disability services office. If I did not contact her, she would worry that I had had a breakdown. It would not be illogical of her to make this assumption, because it has happened before. She is doing her job. That she is also a friend is coincidental.

The sixth is my mother, who believes that I have the responsibility to emotionally support her and make her feel needed, even though she usually just makes me feel like she is trying to force me to become the daughter she wants instead of the one she has. She is overly controlling and I constantly have to set boundaries. I love her, but I often do not like her.

My definition of "true friend" is, "Someone whose desires consistently include things that are beneficial for you primarily because those things benefit you, and whose actions are consistent with those desires." That means, by the way, that it is possible to be a true friend to someone who is not your true friend, or not your friend at all.

I don't have any friends.

I never really have had any, not any that I hold dearly anyway.

I don't really go in for any of that sort of stuff to be honest.

Using that definition, probably none. But then, I live with my parents still, and I don't regularly contact most of my friends now that they have gone to university. If I vanished completely, I think quite a few people would go looking for me.

By this definition, absolutely zero, nada, no one.

And yes I do believe a true friend should do that. Even if they are not able to come in person they should do something to find out what happened to you.

The only people who would ever come around to check on me if I disappeared are my parents. I think they are my only true friends in life. But that doesn't really count for what you are asking about.

It makes me mad because I would go out of my way to find out what is wrong if someone I care about suddenly disappeared, in fact I HAVE done that more than once and got nothing but grief for it. I think some people do it as a game.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Actually, this raises a question regarding the OP's definition of friend. The OP said, "If this person would come to your home or place of work to find out what gives then they are a true friend", but didn't give a time-frame.

So, I sort of assumed that the time-frame was, say, 6-12 months. If we are talking 3 or 4 weeks, then my answer would probably be 1.

BTW, if we are using the OP's definition plus the short time interval (3 or 4 weeks), I suspect that most humans would have less than a handful of friends.

Yeah, they wouldn't immediately go check on me at my apartment. They'd call, e-mail, or send a letter first. They're my friends, not my babysitters.

The relatively fast "response time" for the people who know me depends, I think, much more on their knowledge that I have in the past gone into crisis and needed hospitalization; they would be worried that had happened again.

Someone who was medically fragile in a more immediate way would have an even faster "response time" from friends. For example, if your 85-year-old friend always, always takes her dog out in the morning, and you know she's home but don't see her with her dog two days in a row, you are likely to want to check up on her even though it's only been two days. Especially if she lives alone. So you pop over and ring her doorbell, just to make sure she's okay and not lying on the floor with a broken hip or something.

Then they'd probably call my other landline-phone shortly afterwards.

Oh wait, those don't exist anymore.

In that case, I have 1 friend. And she's a lot older than me. But she's just about the only non-relative out there who actually wants to stay friends, wants to invite me to her house for lunch, and would do more with me if she had the money (we have done things together before when she still had her job). The only problem is, she is a nice friend and everything, but she does sometimes tire me out because she's sometimes ''in your face'', and she can be quite hyper and can go on and on without letting you get a word in edgeways, and I hate to admit it to myself but sometimes I feel a bit bored. She also has this paranoia thing where she thinks her neighbours are watching her and listening for her and are ''out to get her''. I have been down her street so many times for the past 3 years and I have not once sensed any unsettling vibes coming from the neighbours. OK some of them are unfriendly and one or two might be a bit hostile but I pretty much doubt that they are all against my friend and are watching and listening to everything she says and does in her own home. I won't go into all the details about this, otherwise this post would go on and on, but I do know, and can prove, that these neighbours aren't out to get her like she thinks they are. I don't like to tell her that because if she really believes these paranoid thoughts and her friend is doubting her, then she will feel isolated, and I know how that feels. Well she only speaks to her other friends over the phone because they live far away, so I'm the only one that goes round her house the most, so I suppose they will believe her paranoid thoughts more.

Anyway, the rest of the people that I talk to I only consider acquaintances. I have had friends in the past who I have met up with and stuff, but they seemed to have drifted away from me, and when I try to get in touch with them on Facebook, they ignore me. I was friends with a girl who I believe was on the spectrum. I met her on a computer course what the job centre put us on in 2011 (when I was unemployed), and I noticed she was very shy and bewildered, and luckily there was an empty seat next to her so I had to sit next to her. When I saw she was struggling, I helped her, and she liked it and we became friends. We stuck together throughout the whole 5-week course, and met each other in the mornings and went round the town together at lunch and had a laugh. I could tell she felt very comfortable having another girl of her age on the course with her who was similar to her and she could rely on. And ever since, we have stayed in touch and have been meeting up about twice a month and just do casual things what friends do. But now suddenly she doesn't seem to want to know any more. I texted her and asked her if she wanted to meet up again, and she said that everything's boring. I don't know what she means by that but I don't think hanging out with a friend is boring as long as you have a laugh, and at the end of the day it's what you make it. Sitting there in your room declining a day out with your friend is more boring. I mean, what does anybody do? But anyway she has met a boyfriend now who only lives up her road and she's always seeing him now, so I suppose I won't see her any more. And it's not her loss because I don't think she's even that bothered that she's lost me, being so she's got this boyfriend to take her out and make her feel special.

So, yeah, my social life is not that interesting at all, sorry to say. It's Saturday morning right now and I am about to take a trip to the shopping center on my own.

I began to think about how many people I know whose house I would go to if the situation were reversed? That’s two. And now I realize the extreme silliness of my last post. As, for those two, I wouldn’t wait more than a couple of weeks. Anyone else, I wouldn’t even notice.

It’s not a surprise that the two I would check on are the same two that would check on me. Those are pretty much the only people I do things with outside of work and my immediate family.

hmmm

well since most folks i might count as friends are currently out of state, it would probably be zero.

if i was still in white hills... i imagine at least one or two people would eventually check on me. the funny thing is, they wouldn't necessarily be people who know me well, or hang out with me. they are just nice people who care.

Hey Opi! I have not seen you in a while and I have really missed you. It's so good to see you again. I hope you are well.
Hugs,
Skibum!

without counting my husband, i have one friend who i dont want to be friends with but she is very thick-skinned and still likes me whatever i say to her. she was brought up in a very strange upbringing by her dad, and apparently he didnt want to have a daughter so he kind of made her think she was a boy when she was growing up, and she grew into a bicurious adult. i dont think anybody knows if she is lesbian or straight. she flirts about with men but gets too physically close to me then one day she says she is sexually attracted to me, next day she's in denial so i dont know. i think she is gross.

i have a few men that only want to be friends because they are sexually attracted to me. when people are attracted to me in that way they can put my weirdness aside and want to be with me.

Zero, nought, zilch.

Right now I have two. I did have three but after a number of bad fights,I'm presently not talking to the third one.

Excluding my brother (because I do count him as a close friend), I have two. One has known me for almost fourteen years and would certainly freak out if I bailed without warning. My other friend wouldn't worry right away but would notice if I didn't respond for two weeks. If I ever feel like ending the friendship with either of them, I'd certainly have a word beforehand! (Thankfully, I won't have to do that anytime soon)