Autism on 60 Minutes Show tonight
ZanneMarie wrote:
I'm a really good driver.
"Waking the Dead" finished.
I'm definitely losing this race.
(I was thinking of escalating to "I can astral travel faster than you", but that just sounds petty.)
Also, sorry to be so slow, but you have a very nice accretion disk.
(I have very selective awareness. My eyes had been registering it as a woodpecker, or some such)
Lau wrote:
ZanneMarie wrote:
I'm a really good driver.
"Waking the Dead" finished.
I'm definitely losing this race.
(I was thinking of escalating to "I can astral travel faster than you", but that just sounds petty.)
Also, sorry to be so slow, but you have a very nice accretion disk.
(I have very selective awareness. My eyes had been registering it as a woodpecker, or some such)
Do you ever visualize yourself Astral projecting through space? I love to do that on clear nights. Unfortunately my OCD husband can only think about the bugs crawling on me while I'm laying on the lawn doing this. The best song to do this with is Ode to Joy, but the whole 9th is good for this as well. It's even better if you can sing the chorus in German. I think it's the only time I actually like the sound of German.
Ticker wrote:
Prof_Pretorius wrote:
Ticker, you want the cure??
Yes if there's a real cure I want it. I hate being alone all my life being harrassed constantly and looking like a stupid moron in public being unable to sustain eye contact.
My heart goes out to you Ticker, especially because I know that such self-unacceptance deprives many in this world from possibly seeing the beauty in you. The one who loses the best life has to offer is you and you cannot offer back to life your best until you repent from permitting others to dictate who you're becoming (bitter vs. better; better is better). I pray you learn to understand the wisdom in Jerry Newport's book, "Mozart and the Whale," on page 248:
Quote:
Which reminds me of the one lesson I've learned from this crazy life of mine: happily ever after doesn't exist for anyone, especially for those of us with Asperger's. We were born in an unusual way, with unusual traits. Like it or not, we're never going to fit into the so-called normal world. (Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to.)
You can deny this fact of life all you want. You can pretend it doesn't hold true for you or your child. But sooner or later, you'll have to accept it. And, the funny thing is, once you do that, something magical happens deep inside you. You start to accept who it is you really are. And you forge a friendship with the most special, wonderful person you can ever meet---yourself.
You can deny this fact of life all you want. You can pretend it doesn't hold true for you or your child. But sooner or later, you'll have to accept it. And, the funny thing is, once you do that, something magical happens deep inside you. You start to accept who it is you really are. And you forge a friendship with the most special, wonderful person you can ever meet---yourself.
What I have learned is that when the same self-energy, which once looked for all the things to hate about myself, got turned around into investing its power to look for all the things to love about myself, I discovered a joy I believe even normal people cannot experience. I learned this because I learned to stop waiting for someone else to accept and/or appreciate me. I could see that the more I disliked myself, the more others did too. I'm still at the opposite end of being popular, but I got something much better than what popular people get...I am my own best company and I cannot describe how wonderful that is!
Even if you never sustain eye contact with another person in public, if they see you smiling (or even looking remotely pleased)...that's going to make them feel more like the stupid moron because they'll feel like you know a secret to life they are to dumb to figure out. Plus, you only get harassed if you look like you're vulnerable to it. A happy person is not vulnerable to being harassed. We don't need the friendship of other people as much as we need to be our own friend.
P.S. Follow Bob Willey's prescriptions from the movie, "What About Bob?" When you need to, take "a vacation" from your problems and take "baby steps."
_________________
"Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the LORD. "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." – Isaiah 66:2
Ticker wrote:
ZanneMarie wrote:
I was walking through the parking lot and on one of the gulf carts the retired people drive, there was this green and silver metallic spinner. I was watching it moving around in the breeze and suddenly it started spinning. Then, I was thinking about the time and space continuum and gravity and velocity. I was having a great time watching that thing and thinking about physics and what happens? Some well-meaning person grabs my arm and says, "Are you alright?" I thought I was going to jump out of my skin and they completely ruined it, not to mention they frightened me half to death. So, I jumped, then I stared with the blank look and I could see that look on their face like they were going to call someone and again they say, "Are you alright?" I finally say, "I was just looking at the spinner." They look at it and shake their head and walk away. I couldn't believe they ruined that moment. I felt frustrated, but I also felt sad that they could never appreciate a spinner moment for themselves.
While spinner movement is fascinating I admit have you considered when you zone out like that it is a form of seizure activity? Absense seizures aren't always a threat to the person or others, but maybe it causes you to twitch or something and the person that asked if you were alright might have witnessed more than just a person staring at a spinner. So it might have looked like you needed rescuing. Maybe they have a family member with seizures or autistism and they thought they saw someone in trouble. Don't get mad at them for caring enough to ask a fellow human being if they were alright. You can always recreate the spinner moment in the privacy of your own home or garden. Get one of those whirly-gig spinner things on a stick that are made to stick in the garden and sit and contemplate that privately. Then you can spend as much time uninterrupted as you want.
I got harrassed at the grocery store the other day. Still not sure why. There was 4 self-checkout lines and I stood in one opposite this guy who was in another line. I didn't say a word I was minding my own business. I was staring on my left side (he was on my right) at a display of beanie animals. I think I was grinning because they had a tiny stuffed walrus with super long stuffed tusks. I thought that was cute how they made one with these tusks that were long gigantic long incisers. Then all of a sudden he screamed at me "I am ahead of you in line". I looked at him probably like he was crazy and said "how can you be ahead of me, I'm in one line, you're in another line, we aren't in the same line." Then he started screaming "can't we have some democracy here? "Can't you show some democracy?". I don't know what the heck he even meant by that. I saw he was prone to violent and he had a bottle of booze in his basket so I said "Go ahead and go next, I don't care, just go next if you want too." He ended up going over to the third self-check lane not even getting in front of me. The person in my lane finished up her checkout and even though I had more stuff than the a$$hole guy I checked out faster than him. I went to customer service and asked for an escort to the car because I was afraid he might be crazy enough to wait outside to jump me. The customer service girl had witnessed his behavior so she had two people walk me to my car. I still don't understand what he was mad at me about. I did nothing to him. I was in a different line spaced out looking at the stuffed walrus.
You know what Ticker, I am sure this is due to the difference between the way people respond to men vs. women. I saw that in articles where they were trying to figure out why more men were diagnosed than women. They said, people tend to be more protective of girls, even over protective, as opposed to critical of boys. Think about those two stories (I'm pretty sure I don't seizure because too many people would notice, including my husband who would haul me to the Neurologist if he thought that). We were both kind of zoned in on an object of interest. In my case (I was in the middle of the drive lane of a parking lot) a woman comes up and tries to help (this is typical for me). In your case, the man gets aggressive for whatever reason. Two distinct reactions to the same situation. I think it's that phenomenon they talk about. That is just so unfair!
I love your suggestion about spinners. I'm going to get one. I wish I had met the person with that one. It was round, so it was shaped similar to a planet and I liked the colors. I could have asked them where they purchased it.
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