Had an overall positive experience growing up aspie?

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OP is universal internet, nothing to do with autism. It means "Original Poster."

Autism is considered a "spectrum" disorder because, basically:

"If you met one person with autism, you met one person with autism."

There are some people who exhibit primarily sensory symptoms; whereas others exhibit symptoms related to alternative methods of socialization.

People with autism come in many colors (a Spectrum).

Well...I was sort of yelling....

I'm a yeller....

It's fun.

When I get mad at my kids I sometimes yell dramatic things such as YOU'RE KILLING ME ! !! (they get that this is humor with the frustration) I don't know, it's cathartic and theatrical. I'ts like the sicilian mom or jewish mom sterotype, I'm a New Yorker. I love to be dramatic.

But I get it. It's not socially acceptable to yell on the internet.

I understand your intentions. Other people might not.

Got it.

Thanks.

Yelling at people because it is fun is not "respect".

OK. I'm learning. Internet etiquette. Never used a forum before. Thanks!

Other than school (a jail in all but name), I had a good childhood.

hello, sorry for butting in. i have seen your posts before, but i am young and really have no advice for raising a chlid so i don't usually respond. however i just want to say one thing. in regards to this quote and some things i have seen you post.

while i'm glad you have joined this site in order to better understand your son and stuff, i'm not really sure you understand how different he is from NTs and how different his feelings and thought processes are. nobody here is saying he doesn't need human love. what we are trying to explain is, the amount of human interaction which is beneficial to you, may be exhausting and potentially harmful to him (or autistic people in general). of course, every autistic person is different, but we are all more similar to eachother than to NTs.

him playing minecraft is potentially a coping mechanism, as well as something he likes to do. it is probably very calming for him, a way to 'unwind' and decompress all the stressful information from the day. not that he should play it all day of course, especially since he's still in school and has to do homework and stuff (not sure how to help you with that, me and my brother were terrible at doing homework, i barely passed most of my classes). but so far it seems he isn't too isolated, and it seems like other than some executive functioning problems (which is not something you can solve completely, he will ALWAYS have these, though possible to a lesser extent) sounds like he is doing fine, and you shouldn't be too worried.

you seem very worried he may never find romantic interest or have several good friends. this is probably normal for a parent to worry about. but you must remember, even if worst case scenario he DOESNT have these things when he is older, it doesn't make him a failure and doesn't make you a failure as a mother. i guess what i really want to say is, you seem intent on making him as social as possible, you seem like you want him to be more like people without autism. i think this will be a harmful goal. you must understand and accept that he has autism, and this will impact every part of his life. for autistic people, when we try to be as much like NTs as possible, it is not only tiring but destructive to us. yes he needs human interaction. but know the amount and type of human interaction he NEEDS is different from what YOU need.

but overall you seem like you are doing good, just remember, he is DIFFERENT. this might hurt you, my own parents seem to be in denial about this as well, but it is a fact of life and things and expectations must not be the same for him as for NTs. he could very well get married one day, have children, a house, etc etc or he might not. how you define success and happiness is probably very different from how he defines it.

sorry for the long post

Teachers - I was quite fond of them. I liked the idea of an adult who cared enough to teach us. Especially as I got older and my concept of other people grew.

Parents Involvement - Well, my mom and grandma were quite involved in my life. My dad not as much but that wasn't entirely his fault. Still, no one suspected Asperger's. Because I had a severe stutter we blamed any problem on that. I went to stuttering classes off and on. It never helped but sometimes I enjoyed going. The guy who did it would make me popcorn. Regardless my family has tried to be there for me and I have appreciated it.

Schools - Yeah, it was okay. Some nice kids. I wasn't actively teased too bad... I think my stuttering made me too easy a target. Like picking on me was too pathetic to be fun. I did get some subtle digs now and then. As well as a fellow student telling me that everyone laughs at me behind my back. I already knew as much. I should mention though that I went to private school for middle school and high school. Not saying that is for sure the best bet for a child's development. Maybe it's not. I mean, most likely public school would have been hell... but maybe not. I can't say.

Clubs - Well the only thing I'd say close to that is Church. It's worth noting that I didn't grow up in church. I made the choice to join. It became my interest voluntarily. Forcing just any kid who might not want to go would probably be a bad idea. For me it was a very happy time though. I felt a sense of belonging there. Until I stopped believing in The Bible. Then I lost my church family and it felt like God left me. That was crushing.

Friends - I actually had quite wonderful friends. Which spoke to just how severe my problems were. Because I still was unable to integrate, to communicate, to just relax and enjoy them. Again though, I have a severe stutter. So some people without that might be more capable of enjoying friendship than I am. I really did know some amazing people but it was always hard to be around them. Easier with some than others, but always hard.

Smarts - Hmm, I did okay in school. Took a lot out of me though. I'd spend two or three times writing than the other kids. Writing a paragraph, changing my mind, writing it all over, write some more, re-write what I had written, write and read it over a hundred times, re-write, etc. The older I get the less whatever intelligence I have is of use. Because I still have terrible communication skills.

Services - Umm, not sure I had any. I went to an anger management class once. Which was weird because I didn't get in any fights. They gave me ice cream though. That was nice.

Siblings - Yeah I have two stepsisters and a stepbrother. We were close when I was younger. Then at about 13 they moved away. So the last 10ish years I've hardly been around them. But even when I was younger we didn't live together. Well, except my stepbrother lived with me for a year. So I can't really say how life might have been different if I had a sibling that lived with me all my life. Sometimes I wish I did. Maybe when I didn't want to do things, like go traveling, they could have done that instead of me. Sounds like your son is lucky to have his sister.

Mild degree of Asperger's - It's hard to judge how mild I am. Stuttering has been a major compounding factor in my social difficulties. Your kid might have a better chance in some areas than I did.

Luck of environment - Hmm, well I could have been in a worse environment.

Transyl you don't say how old you are and how your life is now. It sounds like you need caring adults in your life who won't leave. Can you join an aspergers social club ? You could probably meet people there who could be friends for life and understand you. I suppose those are more likely to be found in large cities.

Unit00 thanks for your interest. I get what you say, I really do. I'm in phase 1 of understanding right now and these shares are very very very important. I'm talking to the right people. I know the next step is to read the good books and to see how he matures and gives me more clues as to what he needs.

Going to bed now, really tired.

I do like having intelligent, nurturing adults in my life. At times I miss my teachers. I had one teacher for four years... so especially with her, an attachment is logical. But my family fills that void right now. They are kind and they try to be as understanding as possible. Right now I am 24.

To say the last year hasn't been hard would be a lie. It's difficult with such pitiful communication skills. That's why I don't want to make new friends. It was hard with the friends I had. My life was no doubt better for having them in it... but it was tough at the same time being different. I couldn't share myself with them how I wanted. And they couldn't share themselves with me how I wanted either.

Think I just need a goal, a distraction, something to be passionate about. Maybe it'll happen soon.

Sweet dreams! =]

I got hte impression that your family was scattered in different places.

Have you received any help with your stutterig?

It would be great if you could go to a specialist about your speech and to evalute your aspergres. Sometimes the don't charge for an initial consultation.

You really should untangle the 2 things and figure out what is really causing your social withdrawal- is it the sttuerning, is it aspergers?

Don't just sit around waiting for soemthing to happen -- make it happen yourself. Find people who have your same problems, or go to get an evaluation, but it sounds like you're waiting to be happy magically and it won't just come to you. ¨True, if you have a hobby take a class, even if just some learning annex classes. If you have some money, travel. Even by yourself.

Do you have a job?

This sums it up pretty well.

I've traveled a lot and mostly it just overwhelms me until I feel like never seeing another human face again.

As for stuttering the last time I tried to get help was when I was 18. I went to a program for severe stuttering. More than anything I wanted to be around people like myself. But out of everyone there only one had a noticeably severe stutter. The rest were just anxious that they might stutter. They could blend in with society aside from their fear of talking. I can't blend in. I felt more alone than ever. I broke down crying and went home after three days.

I've heard about people in therapy. They just tell you to get out and talk to people. I can't do that. Or they say get a job. I'm afraid of driving. That fear might not seem justified to most people but I am genuinely afraid. If I get an accident, and I think I would, it would not only cost tons of money to fix the car or get a new one, but I or someone else could get severely injured or worse. Then of course I have no people skills and can barely communicate. Not exactly a good candidate for 99% of jobs. Perhaps there is a job fitting for me in that 1%. I don't know.

People tend to judge me based on what they are capable of regardless of what I say. I am not you and you are not me.

Where have you travelled to?

The fact that you've been to many places establishes instant credibility in you. You could speak about different cultures with credibility. This is especially so when you encounter people who seek to go beyond the mere mundane.

I have a problem with stuttering myself, by the way.

Transyl,
I'm worried about you. You have to find your niche. Feel good about yourself. Now you're in a negative state which could get worse and you need someone to help you sort out things, gain confidence. I know that therapy is extremely expensive. I don't know how much you discuss these things with your family. I assume that you live in the states, and i don't know how things work there as far as services for ASD or speech therapy, etc. Don't know if you have medical insurance so you can talk to a doctor. And perhaps get a referral to someone who can diagnose you with ASD or something else. If not, then you need to get to some place such as your local autism center. they will have ideas. . you need to have someone help you sort things out. I do believe in therapy. I also believe in antidepressants, they get you moving again. I'm not suggesting to you to start driving, or look for a job or sign up for classes. I'm just strongly suggesting that you ask for help. first step: look up the number to your local autism center. Just go do it. Second step, call them and tell them what you've said on this forum. Hopefully a worker or volunteer will say why don't you come to the center and see if we can sort things out. You don't have to comply if someone says learn to drive. The thing is they may have a better way of getting you to a happier place. What do you have to lose? By researching how to get counseling.