Do you have a strong or weak personality??

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@ olympiadis

Re: Are you saying that you had a death and/or out of body experience after you jumped into the river?
and that you then had a stronger connection to a different plane of existence, - the spirit world ?

What I'm saying is that, my mother's maternal grandfather introduced me to the spirit world, as you put it, but he called it heaven, as did my parents, and he took me there with him after lunch every day, six days a week, from the time I was three days old, until our suicide attempt when I was three and a half years old, so I became very familiar the place and the entities we associated with there. But he didn't take me there on that day of our suicide attempt. I jumped in the river a matter of seconds after he jumped. So he went on his own, and I had to find my own way there. The ice cold water induced asthma spasm. The asthma spasm induced oxygen starvation. The oxygen starvation induced black out. Body/brain/soul/spirit did the rest - body/brain went automatically into near death coma - hibernation - and soul/spirit flew automatically out of body/brain to the dimension I call heaven, that you call spirit world. I hope that explains it fully, even though it makes no sense. All I'm doing is saying it like I see it.

In real life it's weak. I'm very withdrawn, aloof, evasive, don't talk.
On forums it's strong and I'm very outgoing.

STRONG; I know when I speak and the way that I interact with people is considered not right and can’t do much about that but; I know me and I’m really good at whatever I do and very productive. I believe in ME. Just because I am not like the humans has nothing to go with it. I am an overachiever and an underachieve. But I like me. There is no one on this planet better than I and no one less than I.

Olympiadis - My parents being conscientious objectors conditioned me to defying all kinds of authority for the sake of my mission - I was informed of my mission on my first trip to 'heaven' apparently, though I discovered only recently that I didn't properly understand what my mission was until I had hypno-regression therapy at fifteen and a half after a head injury that wiped out my memory and identity all the way back to my birth. That's why I did those meltdowns at school. Teachers had no control over what I did with my body/brain/soul/spirit. Maybe they locked me up so other kids wouldn't take my lead and defy authority their authority too. On my first day at Junior School, the headmaster, in Morning Assembly, accused me of witchcraft and reminded the rest of the school that the Bible says, Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live, so they tried to kill me, four times a day, every day for a week. I escaped to heaven each time and came back when they had left me for dead. My continued reappearances like that, kind of confirmed in their minds what the headmaster had said. I didn't like being hated that much, so, on the Friday, after school, I ran away from home and made four attempts to kill myself. The first was by jumping off a bridge into a river and the same thing happened as the previous time I tried that. So I tried to raft my way out to sea to die of exposure, hunger and thirst, but that failed too as I fell of the raft. So I tried to freeze to death in the night air. But that didn't work. So I broke into the local coop dairy, and locked myself in the cold store where they kept the ice-creams, and went into a 48 hour coma and froze my body/brain solid while my soul/spirit argued the toss with the Grim Reaper and God to let me into heaven via the Pearly Gate. The village police refused to look for me and the village doctors refused to attend to me when I was found. My soul/spirit returned to my body/brain when my mother was undressing and washing me ready for the undertaker to take me away to the morgue for a post mortem. My finger nails, thumb nails and toe nails had shrivelled up and dropped off by then. My finger nails and thumb nails had dropped off as I was being carried home by the search party that found me. My toe nails had dropped off in my socks so my mother kept them in a jar on the mantelpiece until long after I moved away when I was 23.

^^^^

@ auntblabby - dont worry - your outfit gets a mention in my first book Dafydd Bach: Death of Innocence: The Beginning - it played a key role in the death of my innocence - I was six years old when I discovered that the guy in the red and white suit and big white beard that everyone I knew called Santa Clause was only my mother's uncle and did not arrive from the north pole by reindeer on the roof - that was when I realized that my naivety was going to be my downfall - I never trusted anything any living member of my family ever said to me again - I had yet to find out all the other people in our village couldn't be trusted either - it was a crushing defeat of my innocence - enough to make any saint or hero suicidal

^^^^
I'm glad I'm from the island of defective santas then

very weak, i don't even have a personality. I have no idea who I am at all. So I just try to act like a sheep and fit somehow.