Advice: stop the video games and choose useful obssessions

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mr_bigmouth_502
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26 Dec 2014, 3:38 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

ScottieKarate wrote:

Obsessions are obsessions, but I think laziness plays a pretty big role. Having fun instead of doing something difficult like studying, learning or working is laziness. Laziness will always catch up with you. I've learned the hard way.

I disagree that it is laziness to to have fun instead of doing something difficult, if one only does fun things and never bothers with more difficult yet necessary un-fun things then things aren't going to work out too well. But people cannot be expected to always be doing difficult things...it is healthy to have some fun in life or so it would seem.

There are lots of fun activities that I'm often too lazy to do, and video games are one of them. Seriously, it takes EFFORT to play video games, and to me, the definition of laziness is avoiding doing anything that takes any effort.

Pizzagal3000
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26 Dec 2014, 3:53 pm

JoFo wrote:

Autistic people, from my experience, often develop obsessions. I have Aspergers myself and have encountered many other aspergerians as well, in my educational experience.

It saddens me that so many great autistic minds are wasted away, obsessing over anime and video games. I know that not every autistic person is like this but I've encountered enough who are, that I feel the need to take the time to make this post.

The first year I took high school (I'm in a 5th year right now as I will take an extra year to graduate), I was obsessed with video games. I was enthusiastic about all sorts of games - Call of Duty, Halo, Final Fantasy VII, Legend of Zelda, Civilization V, and a bunch of TCG games and tabletop games.

At one point I was getting terrible grades. My dad told me that I should stop wasting my intelligence on Dungeons and Dragons, and instead learn more about maths, economics, or computers or something like that. I understood where he was coming from, but I couldn't see myself putting down the Magic cards anytime soon. As a result, I struggled academically and retook freshman year, starting in a different school district. This discouraging movement to a special ed program in a different school was a major step backwards in my social and academic progress. I became far more sheltered and less confident socially, all because I knew that I had failed freshman year the first time. 2nd Freshman year went okay, Sophomore year started very badly, but by the Spring I had quickly changed my attitude, changed my obsessions, and become far more motivated to learn and grow socially.

I still play games sometimes, but I see it as a way to connect with friends, not something to devote your life to. This makes life so much better. I also watch anime but I could never see myself as one of those Otaku who lives in the dreaded underworld known as Mom's basement.

I'm a lot happier now. I've forced myself to become far more interested in my school subjects and useful job skills, like programming. I have also done a lot more socializing with peers, and just had a great time the last year and a half of high school.

There is hope for those struggling in high school. I was terribly depressed four years earlier. Yesterday, I got an acceptance letter from a somewhat selective college (one with a 40% acceptance rate) yesterday, despite my rough high school experience. My grades weren't superb after the first year either, but they were good enough to get into a respected college. I had great extracurricular activities and test scores.

I'd like to emphasize, in this post, the importance of developing useful obsessions, ones that can help you get through school and a career. The world isn't going to be good to you if your main area of expertise is how to play as a level 17 halfling rogue.

Lastly, I wanted to ask, have any other aspies met people like this, people who are intelligent but don't devote intelligence to useful pastimes?

I do not agree with this at all. What people are interested in(obssessions, as you like to call it), is their right.

Videogames and Anime provide good, quality entertainment. Why is it that watching stupid shows(like Vampire Diaries) on tv for hours on end, does not get bashed like videogames?

What gives you the authority to tell people what they SHOULD like?

Nobody can give me that demand and actually expect me to follow it.

How would you feel if I said,"Hey, you need to stop wasting time doing what you like cause its pointless anyway."

You would feel hurt, correct?

Videogames have been around for like 3 decades, so the creators of the videogames must be doing something right.

A person chooses whatever they are interested on, whether they realize it or not.

We have that right.

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Oren
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26 Dec 2014, 3:57 pm

I'd be dead without the happiness video games bring to my life.

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kraftiekortie
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26 Dec 2014, 4:00 pm

LOL...I haven't really played much video games since the mid-80's, when Ms Pacman was popular.

I believe....as long as playing video games doesn't interfere with a person making a living, that it's really not something to get all worked up about.

ReticentJaeger
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26 Dec 2014, 4:20 pm

I'm not going to quote the entire thing, but Misery's post was very insightful.

btbnnyr
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26 Dec 2014, 4:23 pm

I thought the point of the op's post was not about anti video games or other games in general, but about video games interfering with other things like making efforts in school that might have long-term rewards, like the op was able to get away from obsession with games and make effort in school and get accepted to college now.

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kraftiekortie
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26 Dec 2014, 4:25 pm

I would tend to agree.

And no....this wasn't a huggy-wuggy "agree." It was an "agree" based upon a certain amount of logical thinking.

Hansgrohe
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26 Dec 2014, 5:03 pm

Don't think you can "choose" your obsessions.

I say let people be as they be.

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26 Dec 2014, 5:09 pm

I wasn't any good at video games, but I did have hobbies that were just as time consuming. I consider it fortunate that my parents, seeing that I was gifted and kept my grades up, gave me a lot of unstructured free time while I was in high school. I was able to go to a school far from home and keep a pretty good balance between studying and other activities.

And, since I got a good job related to one my special interests, you could say that it worked out really well for me.

It seems to me that these days, parents push their kids way too hard--they need time off to do stuff like videogames or something else they are good at to build their self self esteem. Putting a lot of work just to be "average"--that sucks. But, that is what parents want--they want their kids to work really hard to compensate for their disabilities. I think they also need time to be good at something. If that something is videogames--fine with me.

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26 Dec 2014, 5:22 pm

I can't choose obsessions, but I can choose what I get exposed to which might develop into one. I don't play computer games (except Spider Solitaire and that's addictive enough), mainly because there just aren't enough years in the day for that on top of everything else I want to do, but also because I'm worried I would get obsessed with them. I have more than enough other hobbies, I don't need more escapism, most of my life has needed more reality.

Trying to direct an unhelpful obsession (unhelpful is generally in the eye of the beholder) into a helpful one can be more productive by trying to find related things. Computer programming is a good suggestion. I do live action roleplay which while is probably a lot more expensive than computer games and possibly more time-consuming, gets me some excercise and looks a lot better on a CV. Although being good at computer games actually has some military uses if you're lucky enough to get a job in wargaming.

marshall
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26 Dec 2014, 5:36 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

ScottieKarate wrote:

I don't think fun and challenge are mutually exclusive. Some people play video games for the challenge and learn/study for fun (me). Also, there are people who find work difficult because it's often repetitive and un-challenging.

mr_bigmouth_502
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26 Dec 2014, 9:00 pm

To give my smartass, 4chan-esque opinion on the matter:

> choose
> obsessions

Pick one.

Greentexting works on WP.

rapidroy
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27 Dec 2014, 12:11 am

XFilesGeek wrote:

rapidroy wrote:

The skills learned from doing the real things are much more useful too.

"Useful" for what purpose?

Your definition of "useful" and my definition of "useful" likely differ.

Perhaps bad wording on my part. I mean personally my skill sets are much more well rounded by doing more then playing the simulations, like many who play I have the basic and a lot of advanced computer skills however for example I have also developed a lot of metal work, mechanical, welding, woodworking, engineering type skills and many more. Those skills cross over to so many other things in life like keeping the car/home repair people away, saving money and keeping myself employed by being able to handle extra projects etc. If I had kept on dedicating the amount of free time I was playing video games I'd be in a really bad place right now because I would be missing a lot of practical skills that are so important for maximizing self reliance since school teaches you almost nothing these days.

Like I said I won't judge anyone negatively for playing video games, they can be a lot of fun and for sure they have their benefits. I did it too after all for most of the reasons mentioned in this thread.

rapidroy
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27 Dec 2014, 12:24 am

Protogenoi wrote:

JitakuKeibiinB wrote:

rapidroy wrote:

I used to be a chronic gamer when I was a child to my teenage years, I mean every spare minute I was PC gaming and I am sure that is why I ended up needing glasses for nearsightedness.

Sitting too close to the TV causing myopia is an "old wives' tale". Gaming did not damage your eyesight.

Actually, it is a rare phenomena that is associated with certain genes, but it can happen. However, in that case it only speeds up a process that will happen anyways and the better resolution of screen you have the less it affects you. Additionally, it doesn't distinguish between TV, word processing, or gaming because it has to do with the flickering of the screen. But in most cases, it would be correct to say that isn't a cause, only a correlation.
I don't think I described that very well...

All I know is I am the only one I know with this condition in my family and the only one who spent that much
time indoors and most of it in front of a screen. My eyes were also perfect prior to getting the home computer. I remember straining my eyes too when I got tired because I could not let the game be. Soon after my distance vision began to deteriorate. As for sitting too close to the TV, that's often because your sight is already poor and you need to be close to see. Either way I'd recommend watching your screen time if you want to keep close to 20/20 vision and avoid the hassle of glasses because about 10 years later I can hardly see a thing without them now and get awful headaches without correction, I could very well have paid the price for all those hours of gaming.

JoFo
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27 Dec 2014, 11:50 pm

I've been getting a lot of people being upset me for being judgmental. I am sorry and I didn't mean to come across as judgmental. I don't agree with people who deny any artistic value in video games. I still play them sometimes. Video games, and anime, and all those things are a form of art.

The reason people, including myself, single out video games and "geek culture" for scrutiny is because of the effect it has on people.

Other groups of people with certain hobbies don't get repulsively obsessive the way aspie gamers and anime fans do. It is not just a silly stereotype, it is true.

I think that in many ways, the "geek culture" (anime fans especially) is its own worst enemy. I've known people who refuse to watch anime not because of the anime itself, but because of the stereotype of people who watch it.

I have hardly ever met anime fans or gamers who are just "sort of" into their hobby. Whereas, NT people who go to watch sports games and movies often do that stuff every once in a while, and are open to it and into it even if they aren't obsessive with it.

Video games and anime are okay interests but they do not need to be so time consuming.

The people who study abroad in Europe, to say, study Renaissance Italian art have a very strong interest in it, but from what I've seen, they don't refuse to do other things because they're too caught up in their interest.

mr_bigmouth_502
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28 Dec 2014, 2:18 am

JoFo wrote:

Other groups of people with certain hobbies don't get repulsively obsessive the way aspie gamers and anime fans do. It is not just a silly stereotype, it is true.

Them's fightin' words.

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