I don't get it

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.... time to go wildly off topic again.

It was implied meaning. You were speaking to me and btnnyr. You didn't say it directly but it's clear who you were talking about.

Yes you did. Intentional or not you did.

Perhaps not but you don't need to swear to hurt someone.

No, you didn't. Point is what? It was a conditional thing. If you thought what I was trying to do was ill-intended.

No, but you intended to.

Yes, you did. Intentional or not.

And no, I did not see my behaviour. Actually the opposite which is what I was defending until you posted the second reply as you could see clear guilt. And damn right I felt guilt that my response was even read in that way. I was not trying to get rid of OP, I was just bringing up something I've heard.

And no, I do not want you to be nice to me. I actually don't want anything at all from you. I don't want another message. There is a reason I'm like this at the moment. A reason my emotions are so on edge. The same reason is effecting everyone in my family and we are all like this. I haven't ever mentioned it on WP nor intend to. Something you'd probably find amusing given your reaction to this.

iliketrees, I find that there is nothing I can do if someone does not take my posts in a straightforward way without assigning nasty motives to me (this happens to me often on wp, rarely in real life, perhaps it is due to my general communication style in posting, but I am not sure which details influence it the most), but one thing that helps is to continue making straightforward posts with information, suggestions, opinions.

That would be messed up because I think help should be available to anyone who needs it, not for anyone who has a specific diagnoses. If a kid has to be falsely labeled with something they don't even have just to get services they need, do not tell them they are autistic or else it would be a lie. If you have to falsely diagnose someone with it just so they can get services they need, make it clear to them they do not have autism but you are just giving them the diagnoses so they can use it to get the help they need. I wouldn't go around telling people I have it if that happened to me and I am sure my mother wouldn't have told me I had it if that happened to me.

No matter how I word things and try and make sure it won't be interpreted in a different way, someone will still interpret it in another way and there is nothing I can do about it. I try and not take it personal and this happens to everyone.

I'll consider that, thank you. It's happened plenty of times before. Cryos gave me a whole list of what I was apparently doing before. It happens a lot on other sites. Recently it definitely has been happening here. I want more people to read my posts literally because that's the way I wrote them.

I have no idea if your diagnosis is correct (or not). I do know that, after I was diagnosed, I had lingering doubts as well. Was the clinical psychologist qualified? Was the diagnosis process suitable? Were the correct tests administered? But, that’s just me. I am skeptical of just about everything.

Regarding the things that you find hard to relate to:
- I am not certain what being socially awkward “feels like”. While I am quite OK at interaction when exchanging information (such as, at work), I am not very good at ad hoc interaction. I remain unclear what social-emotional reciprocity actually means. How do I know when I see it (with others)? What does it feel like?
- I do not fear change, I dislike it. There is a huge difference.
- I don’t need to stick to routines. I like having routines. Again, there is a difference.
- I don’t need to do things in a certain way, I like to do things in a certain way, the most optimal way, of course.
- I certainly don’t have irrational fears and beliefs. All my thoughts are 100% rational (from my perspective, of course).

By the way, if you are really that curious, I would check the diagnosis criteria and see if you think it applies. If it doesn’t, maybe you were misdiagnosed.


With the exceptions of several topics, I have found WP to be quite inclusive. It’s sort of like the “Island of Misfits”. Anyone is welcome.

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As a side note, what I find interesting about the responses to this thread is as follows:

- This thread is about questioning (or having doubts) about one’s diagnosis. From my perspective, it’s OK to doubt a diagnosis.
- Because the OP suggested that he/she was misdiagnoses (and provided accompanying reasons to support that belief), it’s quite ok for anyone to suggest that, perhaps, maybe, the OP was misdiagnosed. The purpose of this forum is to discuss autism issues. Since the OP asked, it’s fair game to reply accordingly. Obviously, the OP should be circumspect of any advice received in an anonymous online forum.
- At least one poster referred to a recent thread discussing the merits and validity of self-diagnosis. Some posters in those threads preferred self-diagnosis over professional diagnosis, referring to the fact that professionals can misdiagnose. So, now we have a person (the OP) who suggests that this (misdiagnosis) may have occurred. But, then people get upset, that members of the community agree that this may have occurred. As the title of the thread states, "I don’t get it".

http://www.helpforadd.com/educational-rights/
Prior to 1991, children with ADHD/ADD were not eligible to receive special educational services unless they were determined to have some other disability (e.g. a specific learning disability). Lobbying efforts to rectify this situation were successful, however, and children with ADHD/ADD who require special assistance must now receive access to special education and/or related services according to two federal laws.

Around here, services vary tremendously depending on where you live and what school you go to. There are some excellent private schools, some towns with great public schools, and some not so great cities that folks try their best to avoid but can't due to poverty.

And, just because a law has been passed doesn't automatically mean you will get those services.

There is also the concept of plausible deniability--you don't want to document anything that will get you fired. Helping kids as best you can is the ideal, but there is also the reality that you need to look out for yourself.

A newly minted clinician may not have the experience to teach the upset parent the finer points of what she is actually doing. This can be a very emotionally charged issue, and the parent may have similar learning issues as well.

If you think about it, someone has to hire those new inexperienced people looking for their first real job.

I don't trust the Psychiatric-Industry for reasons that it's a CORPORATE Pseudo-Science, the way that it's practiced these days, and the DSM has more to do with collecting Insurance-Money than it does to do with anything genuinely scientific. READ THE FACTS FOR YOURSELF (hyper-linked here for your reference). The fact is that your typical general-public is all like... "I saw it on television so it MUST be TRUE" and that the "television SAID it was SCIENTIFIC" (even though the FACT of the matter is that they are NOT scientists... they are SALESMEN who DRESS-UP as people who LOOK like Doctors/Scientists).

You can even hear it directly from one of those salesmen (former salesman) themselves here...

Make sure to also Read Her Book (including all of the Reviews to said Book as well as all of the comments made in response to each of the Reviews for yourself).

Isn't it ironic how we are supposed to be literal but not every aspie will be when they read our posts? That just shows how human they are too and how we are no different than NTs.

I think it's more complicated than that. To take this excellent "alcoholics" analogy further, an alcoholic typically has to completely stop drinking alcohol in order to control the habit - just one drink can break their resolve. Obviously it takes a lot of self-control to abstain forever, and there may be some pressure from society to drink, and refusing to drink may lead to some social rejection. And that's been much like my early experience with trying to control my "going on and on about narrow subjects," which for brevity I'll call "data-dumping" from now on. If I began to speak, I couldn't stop. So I remained silent, and experienced some social pressure to speak.

But the thing is, it was worse than being an alcoholic in a way: which takes a bigger hit on your social success, absolute teetotalism or absolute silence? Obviously, if you don't speak at all, your social life is dead. The teetotaller at least has a chance, (s)he can find people who don't worship alcohol. What was I to do, look for Cistercian monks? So I went back to speaking, and naturally I regressed into data-dumping time and time again. The fix, if it can be called a fix, was that I somehow learned to pick up on the body language and social cues I was getting from others. I noticed people starting to look bored, tired, or overwhelmed. They might turn their faces or their whole bodies slightly away from me. And the best of them, the ones I used to think were jerks for this, would interrupt me. I guess it's the equivalent of a responsible bartender saying "don't you think you've had enough?"

To this day I feel sorry for the people in my life who are so nice that they feel they have to keep pretending they're still interested in what I say even though I've been banging on for ages and they haven't had the chance to say anything. Because they don't help to shut me up, they're the ones who risk getting my data dumps. It's a work in progress.

Hope that's a good enough elaboration of how this data-dumping operates and what a struggle it can be to set it right.

What if they were to tell you you had been going on and on about it or telling you to talk about something else? Would you then be able to stop.

Maybe look at your watch and learn to only talk about a certain subject for a limited amount of time.

Hm. This is so facinating, thank you so much for all your contributions.

Well I got s**t faced last night and hung out with an other aspie. He went on and on about radar communication and the cold war. Its like listening to a documentary. Omg I could just sit back and be entertained. I get it now when he spoke so passionettely about it it kinda rubbed off on me. Awsome.

That's only happened a couple of times, in the distant past when I still thought that if I thought a subject was fascinating, so would they. They did it very rudely and I just felt offended, so it was counter-productive. I think if it happened now I'd be more likely to see their point, though people can be very sensitive to such bluntness - I guess that's why NTs often prefer to drop subtle hints when they want somebody to shut up - so it would probably depend on what mood I was in and how gently they broke it to me. A guy I knew would sometimes use a very clever method - he'd interrupt with a question about me. So he was indirectly saying that he didn't think I was inherently boring but that he'd got my point and wanted to exert some control over the subject matter and to move it on.

^Both my husband and mom will tell me if I have been going on and on about something but they are nice about it^ they won't tell me to shut up but they will tell me they don't want to talk about it anymore or that they are getting tired of it or ask me to switch topics. Sometimes my husband will tell me how long I had been talking about it but that might not be enough to tell me I should stop that topic literally so he tells me is he tired of it.

I find that myself. With there being some things on WP which I just can't relate to at all. (Along with quite a few issues where I prefer forums populated mostly by NTs.)


Ditto