Why does everyone say "we can't diagnose you here"?

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Hi Jacoby,

Good to meet ya!

I think an example of something different that could be said is this:

"Well I can relate to the symptom you have here, and you could do such and such about that. It worked for me or so and so over here. But if you really want to know, getting an official diagnosis is where you need to go. Welcome to the community, PM me sometime... buh bye!"

But that's one of many ways we could answer "am I autistic" threads. Because they normally will list why they think they have autism. And those are the things we can address. Answers in life don't always have to be yes or no, even though many of us are naturally inclined to think in that way. I can definitely relate.

Think about the "404 Webpage Not Found" errors when you try to access a part of a website that is no longer there. People appreciate it when a website presents you with other options or related links within the website that might be helpful to some extent, even though it isn't exactly what you might be looking for.

If I get a "404 Webpage Not Here", with text on a white screen, then it's a bit disappointing. But when I see this: http://shop.lenovo.com/SEUILibrary/controller/e/web/LenovoPortal/en_US/seutil.workflow:ShowDataFailurePage?reason=nomatch

It makes it seem like someone is still trying to help to the best of their abilities. It gives me more of a closure, and I don't feel "shutdown". Does that make sense?

I've noticed Fnord getting censured / censored before for (IMO) no good reason. I think his blunt, honest input is a valuable asset to WP.

I don't think this is too big an issue considering there is always going to be more than 1 post in a thread. It's not as if everybody is saying the same thing, whether that be that nobody can diagnose you here or that autism sounds likely etc.

I think pretty much everybody is trying to be helpful. The problem is that there are opposing schools of thought, one believes that Autism is overdiagnosed (self and professional) and the definition has become to too broad, the other school believes in the expanding spectrum and that autism is still underdiagnosed especially in certain demographics such as adults and females. Some in school of thought 1 when seeing the "Am I autistic" question will be weary of the OP being a Aspie wannabee or consciously or subconsciously look for reasons why the OP might have another condition. Some in school of thought 2 perhaps remembering the pain/confusion of not knowing due to the stricter definitions of the past and what a positive experience finding out was for them naturally want to help somebody else get the same experience may consciously or subconscious be biased towered seeing the OP as likely autistic.

I agree. I believe it's appropriate for someone to provide such a response within these "Am I an Aspie?" threads. With that being said, I believe it would be inappropriate if everyone responded in a similar fashion.

StarTrekker - I certainly enjoy reading your responses in those threads. Quite often, I learn something new.

Thank you both. It's nice to be appreciated for doing the right thing. I suppose that I could conceal or distort the truth, but then my posts would be indistinguishable from what an "NT" might submit -- all sugar-coated platitudes and falsehoods, but with no real substance at all.

I am not an "NT", and people should stop trying to make me behave like one.

Hehe! I like you Fnord. You can be blunt to me anytime!

Remember, though, sometimes a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Oh my gosh, forgive me for quoting a Mary Poppins song.

I'm not 100% opposed to sugar coating some things, and I've learned it's effective for navigating the NT world. I think there's a way to do it without distorting the truth.

The truth is like a medicine. Sometimes, you have to rub it on your skin and it burns. Sometimes it's injected straight into your vains. But that nasty green stuff you take by mouth needs a little sweetening sometimes to make it more palatable to some people. It still has the same healing benefit. (Although I really despise that nasty cherry flavor, so I guess it doesn't work for me as much. )

But too much sugar and candy makes me sick to my stomach. Everyone needs some salt in their diet.

It was less of an accusation and more of a pointing out of specific behaviour. I often don't realise when I'm taking something too literally, and someone telling me that I am helps me step back and look for a different, more accurate perspective.

Thank you

I understand, "accusing" is not the right word I have chosen.
Sometimes I have English words in my head when writing a reply or post without really checking them for accuracy.

I know, and probably everybody knows, that you only have good intentions at all times.

There are some people who believe in being really clear that one cannot "diagnose" somebody with autism on the basis of words written on an Internet thread. Perhaps, in some, there is too much emphasis on that over actually assisting a person who believes he/she has autism.

There are others who believe one should take an active part in encouraging people to research autism.

There are others who believe that, no matter what one's diagnosis or nondiagnosis, that WP embraces all who have a desire to advance autism and autistic people.

Friendly advice here, people can tell you that just to manipulate you into believing you are wrong and out of line so you will believe what they want you to believe and they are just being discriminating because of your disability so be careful.

I have also seen people play the internet doctor because they think they can diagnose anyone with a condition and decide who has or doesn't have autism so they undiagnose people for petty things. (eg. someone on the spectrum expresses their perspective on something and someone else says they are not autistic and that they are NT because no one on the spectrum would believe that and I have seen people say that super model Heather couldn't possibly have it because looked and acted too normal to be autistic or saying Steven Spielberg can't have it because he works with people and no one on the spectrum could do that and direct movies or people saying someone can't be autistic because they write too well and express themselves too well) So I always thought people saying they can't diagnose you are being honest because they are acknowledging they are not doctors and are not qualified and they don't know you so they can't say if you have it or not. I had no idea it would be so insulting to say "I can't diagnose you" or "we can't diagnose you." You can't win.

I think you're right, League Girl. All the way.

When I say, "I can't diagnose you over the Internet," that's exactly what I mean: Can't, as in, unable to. First of all, I'm a psychology undergraduate, not a professional psychologist; I may know more about autism than most professional psychologists, but I still can't tell whether someone's autistic from a self-report of their behavior, in plain text only, without being able to interview them face to face. I also don't have the training that a professional psychologist has, nor the experience in day-to-day clinical practice. And if I did, I would still be saying, "I can't make a proper decision without seeing this person." There are many cues that don't come across in text. While many autistics are unusually self-aware, I can't tell the difference between a self-aware person who is correct about themselves, and a non-self-aware person who simply thinks they are. (I tend to assume that what people say about themselves is honest, and that they are usually correct; but I can't be so sure that I would say "Yes, you definitely have/don't have autism" based on it).

So, what I do instead when someone asks me whether they have autism, is to look at the traits they list, identify the ones that are consistent with autism and the ones that are irrelevant (for example, it's common for people to mention social anxiety, which is a common comorbid but not an autistic trait). Then I look at their descriptions of the difficulties they are having in their daily lives. If they report little or no difficulty, I tend to say, "These are autistic traits, but you seem to be doing fine--they may be subclinical." If they report difficulty, I may respond, "These are autistic traits; and since you report having problems in your daily life related to these traits, you may benefit from a diagnosis." The important issue isn't really, "Do I have autism", but, "Does it make sense for me to get an evaluation". And whether your issues are coming from autism or not, if they're significant, then you owe it to yourself to get some help. (I know some people can't, others worry for their jobs, and others have been hurt so much that they stay away from it--but in an ideal world, they would. That's why self-diagnosis exists; these are people doing the best they can without access to an official diagnosis.)

And no, it's not meant to be mean. Far from it. I just refuse to categorically endorse statements I can't be sure of. I'm a scientist; I think literally; I avoid "never" and "always". I don't glue labels onto people I haven't met, especially since I haven't got the professional experience to be comfortable doing so. My desire is to help, not to try to get people to stop asking repetitive questions. Yeah, they're repetitive, but think about it; each of these "Am I autistic" posts is about some person's one and only life, one and only brain, unique experiences. What are they supposed to do, really, if they want feedback? They have to ask.