Aspie Men are Jerks

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Merle
you're a sweetheart
thx
but I must say I channel my self always
I am self employed for 40 local physicians and 2 huge commercial accounts
I work nearly 24/7
ok M-Thurs 16 hr days and Fri-Sun & holidays 24hr shifts
I have only M-Thurs 9am-4pm and Friday 9am-noon for myself to sleep or whatever
I took soooo much devoted time and energy I did not have for one full year to merely see this guy
ok I'll quit
I know it never really was, except in perhaps my mind
nurse Rachett I am not
for the job I do I am known in many local counties and communities and many just call for
advice and or to chat, yes I have my favorite quads and addicts who are special people but nothing more of course, hence care taker enabler
personally, I must be the only one who does not see it as a negative
can a woman never take care of a man?
I could do so financially without his salary if anything ever happened
I could do so emotionally as I strive to with everyone I come in contact with daily
I could do so physically since I've been celebet (sp) for way too long
it just pains me to forget it - but you can only beat a dead horse so long I suppose
thank you for being there
I'll go have a good cry now

Notafarmgirl:

I know that you're taking this all hard. Look, the guy probably didn't realize where things were going. I've ended up in relationships that, while no where near as severe as this, remain in some odd ambiguous state of play. Really wouldn't want them to go further either. If it is any consolation, I'm sure that he was enjoying. You should keep this memory in your heart, and never throw it away - yet move on. It really sounds beautiful to me, in an odd sort of way.

That statement brings back terrifying memories of my first marriage.

I think they often want both -- a guy who will take care of the household in all the traditional ways, yet will also sit there and be fascinated while they go on for an hour or two of meandering chit chat. The former I could do, but a phone call, on no particular topic, which lasts over an hour is something that I just cannot appreciate. Having a woman yelling at me, then even more upset with me because I didn't yell back (apparently that meant that I didn't care) -- those were not things which my mind could resolve. I don't know whether that's because I'm aspie, male, or both, but differences like that made for things really NOT working.

Aspie women are fantastic. More thought, less drama.

thank you Calandale
finally someone who's got it
I have really just skimmed the surface of this past year with scant details
no one will ever truly know just how much in my heart and soul he truly is
no I am not demented or a raving lunatic
just some one who fell for a great guy - observed from a far - w/in his own environment
(you see going to his work to make purchases I've seen him interact with many people)
just fell for some one who rekindled my old insatiable desires for a red head
& for an authoritative figure
& for a handsome hunk with a hard body
who walks extremely hard (just like me)
who has an unsteady gait (just like me)
who is not co-ordinated (just like me)
who has an odd sense of humor (just like me)
etc etc etc

You are right. It has been oddly awesome and oddly fulfilling in a wonderful sort of way - all our own. Perhaps he wanted it with NSA, but being female I did not. I would marry him if he asked me tomorrow with nary any other word said between us. I've had him under a microscope for the past year and I do like him and will forever, but from a farther distance than ever now I know. Again, I do not want to bring any undue pain or sensory overload to him or his personal life. Had I only known sooner is my only regret. Otherwise, none whatsoever. Irregardless of this outcome - I am still enamoured.

Now THAT is what I have been talking about! Guys, AS or NT!, would LOVE that!

And YEAH, I don't do the stare thing. HECK, I look at women in person when they aren't likely to notice. If I did stare, and wasn't interested, they may think I was, or was in some way making fun of them. If they were interested, I would likely never know, and if they weren't I would likely be told off or worse. Is it any wonder I have so many problems? BTW I DID once try the stare thing. I don't even remember all the specifics, but it wasn't happy. ONCE, it briefly happened by accident, and that wasn't good EITHER.

Steve

I agree. Sometimes things aren't meant to be, but that doesn't take anything away from them. Sometimes love is more real than anything which occupies space or time could ever hope to be.

to Steve K-Phoenix
The stare thing is how this busines all got started. He drive by me over and over but sit bolt upright flat against the back seat of his truck so I could not see who was driving as he'd go by at near zero as he braked all the way past me. Well, when a vehicle does this repeatedly numerous times you'd like to see who is driving. Over time I finally saw and made the connection who he was and where he was from (ie where he worked). OMG Once he knew I knew what vehicle he'd pass me in he'd get out a different company vehicle (they must have a dozen or so) and this went on and on. Then the short stares got longer and slower and more pronounced and he let me start seeing him as he now would go past, next thing it was open wide more not just moments but 30 minutes, then an hour and the last time and only time was a 2 hour stint at the end of one year and we bit the dust after I approached him and found out it was not meant to be a real thing after all. ugh. Now you know.

Ok, I have been blown off. .I can attest to her being an NT now. . .

typical


Merle

thx geek - snowy owl
the support I need
truly
thx

notafarmgal: The only thing that remains to wonder, is whether you are indeed NT. This kind of obsession does not strike me as something many people do. Moreover, simply connecting so well with the thoughts that I put forth - or my being correct in guessing them - is exceedingly odd. I'm not saying that you're AS, but there does seem something beyond what most Nts are capable of here.

Well, you spoke of running circles around you, so I couldn't be sure what. As for the stares, that IS common for autistics/aspies, but the slow driving and persistence don't make sense. Was he staring when he was at lights or something? I do that. I don't stare AT anyone, etc... though.

Steve

Alanon and Adult Children of Alcoholics were full of 'em,calandale. Being an AS doesn't keep us from being like that either, and being NT don't keep people from obsessive behavior like that .


Merle

I will call you Lord Calandale!
by all accounts
I will take your comments as a compliment
I am NT (ok maybe a bit neurotic - but not diagnosed) - heck I just can't help it
(haven't you ever wanted something soooo badly that you could not have - it drove you mad?)
I have been somewhat involved in different aspects of the medical field for all of my adult life
In the past year purchased and gotten many library books and other on every aspect of every spectrum I could research - could be how I've learned as I really did want to know and learn prior to the hopes of establishing a relationship I wanted to be as prepared as possible to do the right thing for a possible AS partner. Actually, there are several books yet to arrive as I am continuing to learn.
Now you know a bit more. (wasn't my fault they are late in coming after the fact - but shall nto return them - never hurts to have a hard copy available if ever need be in future)!
Just wish circumstances could be different and by the way I would never blow you off - but I do need to close my eyes or try to soon as my phones are pretty quite for the moment here as I work and write, plus I should be doing my billing (got to get my $$$ out of the docs etc you know).

I was not calling anyone here "Nurse Mildred Ratched," I was using that designation to refer to the general feeling I got concerning the writer of the article mentioned in the first post of this thread regarding aspie men and their problems with relationships. Maybe I was being too harsh, but maybe not.

Steve K - Phoenix
No we were not at lights
it is a long straight away road
not much traffic
he'd slow way down from a distance
then put a dead lock on me - expressionless
sometimes as he drive by at the very last second he'd look through the driver window turning his head toward me, but normally just a long stare
almost as if it weren't me he were looking at but maybe a different person from a different place and time, perhaps a more perfect person he'd rather fancy, but not me kind of thing. Yet the time spans increased dramatically and became more continuously and occurred more frequently not just on bank day on Tuesday, but next included Thurs, then Wedns, then Monday etc. It got to where I felt he made me obcess (sp) about him purposely (gosh I'm tired I can hardly write correctly-sorry) and so I did, then I liked it, then I liked him ten times more than I originally thought, then I started going to his work more often ugh and on and on. Till we crashed and burned.

ok
thx aspiebegood
given my actual name...I have been called that before
just glad it was not meant for me