Many of you don't have free minds. why?

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Oh ny God, how devastatingly disappointing for you. I hope you can recover from this shock, I know it must be hard to handle having your expectations completely crushed that way.

Is there anything I can do?

At all?

Really, anything. Just let me know. I'm here for you. I am.

You can cut the attitude. I really hate sarcasm.
I'm also genuinely interested. Why be a b!tch?! You don't understand how I think, I don't get how others think of things but at least I'm asking and trying to find out.
Why do people start being mean just because they ask a question....

It might seem like just a question, but it could be read as "why are you so dumb?" which is kind of a question and kind of an insult.

I think you may have thought that your intent in asking the question was clearer than it is, and did not think, "the way I am putting this may seem like an insult to some people."

This kind of gets to what your question is about and something that's a core characteristic of autism: there is some breakdown in communication that makes it hard to understand what others really mean and how one comes off to others.

The thing that you think is foolishly "worrying about other people's view of you" may be a vital part of communication. Paying attention at least a little to how you come across and do or do not fit in in certain situations is important to being able to do things. Like work a job. Or use public services. Or share a residence. Or do anything collaboratively with others, like build a conversation on an internet forum.

My read of what's going on here is that OOM read your note and picked up the "why are you guys so dumb?" message along with the "I thought you guys would be smarter" and just quickly responded with a snarky message, kind of bypassing the comments in between that explore your idea a little more.

I read the OP literal so I knew it was a curious question and wanted to know why we care what others think and follow the rules of society and being aware how different we are. Nowhere do I see in his post saying "Why are you so dumb?" but seeing even aspies can read into things that are not there just shows me how human we are and just as capable as doing what NTs do in communication so I believe we're no different. This miscommunication happens with NTs too because I have seen them ask a question online and they get meanness from other ladies because they didn't take the question literal so they read into it. Sometimes NTs do mean what they say also and other people think there is intention behind it. Then they blame it on the person by saying theirs was poorly worded and I always think "it was pretty clear to me what they were saying the first time." I am sure this happens more often in ASD which would make it a symptom for communication issues and perhaps social skills deficit. But this was one of the moments where I felt superior and all the other women on that site looked dumb to me. But it did make it feel unsafe for me because of all the drama and meanness and the bullying. It seems all cleaned up now and people there seem better behaved last I checked there and read few of the threads. Perhaps rules and terms of service got enforced.

I am not being a b***h. I have let you down again and I'm heartbroken. This is not mean, I have said no mean words and only tried to make it up to you because you wanted us to be like you.

I can leave the forum forever if you would like. I'd do that for you, because now I owe you.

That's okay. My bad it's hard to tell what someone means over writen words sometimes. You can stay, people like you here.

Only if you're sure. Because I will.

But the problem is, I'm doing it again right now. Disappointing you because I'm caring what another person thinks of me. I can't win for losing!

Thank you so much for pointing out how I'm in such bondage to my mind. If only it were free! Oh God please give my mind freedom and let me not care what this let down and disappointed person thinks of me, because wanting to make things better is just making them worse.

Why do I even try? WHY? WHY GOD WHY??????

My mind needs a deliverer like Moses was. This post has sparked something in me. I'm going to free all our minds. I'm going to follow you as you metaphorically part the red sea of your grey matter and LET YOUR PEOPLE GO!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

And we will not let you down like they did Moses. No golden calves, even though once we are free we won't care what you think. I promise that to you.

I like the thought of, "You can kick a dog only so much before it breaks." And society likes to kick us until we conform. Some of us have extreme anxiety that stems from the fear of ticking the higher ups off, and when we can't figure out what might be wrong next, it can shut us in.

And while I try not to take things as insults, and explore whether the person's intentions are not as they seem, your thread title and quick glance does have an in your face attitude of those who do conform as being lesser beings. Communication is a two way street and that can make it really difficult when two people have completely different ways of communicating...

Last edited by kamiyu910 on 07 Aug 2015, 1:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's all for your replies guys. Is certainly interesting seeing what you have to tell.

I lost the post that I was writing. However, I'll just say this. I did also lose the original content of the above post before it was edited and completely changed.

I'll say it nicer this time. I think you are playing people and you are enjoying putting them down for feeling and caring and lots of things. I see you putting down nice people and weaker people and seeming to act superior about it and make the ones who buy into your telling them they are doing wrong just feel worse. What bothered me was seeing people buy into what you say here and in other places. Nice people. I get on people too, but not on nice people and not just to make myself feel better. I get on people who I'm angry at or who I think have it coming to them.

So if you would like to make somebody feel bad, or tell them how they are doing everything wrong, or just insult somebody until you run out of words, then try me. I won't report, get mad, or even endorse any warnings for you although they will give it anyway but I won't agree with it cause I'm saying go ahead. Get out everything you want to get out on me ok? Just leave the actual nice people alone. For the love of God I see some of them buying in to you.

Pick on somebody who can take it

Last edited by OliveOilMom on 07 Aug 2015, 1:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

@OOM did you post on the wrong thread by mistake?

Lol

No, because that wasn't from a thread lol. I posted to you and the original was gone and I copied and went to paste and it pasted a PM . I right clicked and "copy" twice after I noticed it which was of course the second AFTER I hit send. I tried to fix it but this is why I do not trust computers. It was right there, and then gone. I clicked it twice even. It pasted something different every time.

And that was funny. It is kinda great when something like that happens, even to yourself. Except where money is at stake.

Thank goodness I got it down though. It wasn't bad, it was just personal and it was someone else's privacy, not mine.

Okay. I read the entire message but don't know what it means lol

Interesting question.

I'm not bounded by societal rules at all. However I notice many people hear talking about what is "socially acceptable" and sort of hinting for them to do the socially acceptable thing.

My guess is that some people with AS want to be "normal" so they try to follow social rules. Or they are lonely and in order to make more friends they try to follow those social rules.

Mean, sarcasm? I knew something was fishy with that post, it sounded over-sincere if such a thing exists.

Maybe that's so... hmm