WTF Article claims Positive Effects of Bullying Autistics

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Although my bullying was a lot less then some who grew up in the pre spectrum era
I can't think of anything good that came out of the era when bullying was considered a right of passage, boys bieng boys etc. For some that had the physical or social skills to fight back it probably did build some self esteem. But for me without these skills all it make me was less self confident then 99% of the people. Lack of self confidence is a big problem in the job market. Some lack of self confidence persists at age 58.

When I grew up there was much more freedom and time to escape then today's autistic kids have to deal with 25-40 hours of ABA and what most kids that have to deal with thier helicopter parents managing and monitoring thier every action. That freedom gave a me sense of self identity. But that was seperate from the bullying.

This is just sick. "More friendships" ...LOL

I can think the reason why the article didn't upset me and why I thought what she was really saying is because I never had it bad at others who were bullied. Yes I was teased and harassed and forced to do things I didn't want to do and then get in trouble for it, and being tricked into doing things to be laughed at and then having a nervous breakdown in 6th grade but others who had it worse will take it the extreme way and I think the word "bully" is a subjective word and we have to look at what does the author mean by bullying. Is she talking about normal kid stuff like as*holes and teasing than abusers? Most people when they think of bullying, they might be thinking of a kid who says "You're a cry baby" when they cry or calling a kid chicken when they refuse to do something that will get them into trouble or just teasing them and yeah most adults tell the kid to ignore it. Which would be the reason why they trivialize it and think victims are weak when they let it affect them because they do not realize how bad it is and they have never seen it nor have had it happen to them.

My mother doesn't think I was ever bullied truly, just teased and not understood but it still doesn't make my feelings not valid or how it affected me and I might just have been a very sensitive person which is why things stood out more and affected me more. But it was a constant thing in my life than once one a while for most kids. I bet if it was only once in a while the it would have been easy for me to ignore and still be happy in life and have good self esteem. But all this still made me grow stronger as a person and it did get me to change my behaviors because I was sick of being mislabeled and misjudged and being called crazy or weird or show off. I don't know if that was bullying there but I always took it personal from the negative feedback I got. It's not like those kids followed me around calling me those things but I would over hear them say it. I wouldn't say that was bullying unless they were intentionally doing it to make sure I heard them say it.

But I think this article caused a lot of knee jerk reactions and triggered PTSD flashbacks.

I understand what the author of the article is trying to say (use the bullying incident to impart good things instead of bad), but it can easily misinterpreted to mean something else based on the title. It was probably chosen to catch your attention, without thinking that it could change how the article in interpreted by readers.

My take on being bullied as a youth: Yes, it did make me stronger, but at a huge cost. There was serious damage done to my self-esteem and overall mental health. I became a much different person, something that I am not proud of. Back then, I was pushed a bit too far too many times to just let things slide as they just would not stop. It made me go from an average smart kid who just wanted to be left alone to someone who simply wanted revenge at all costs when attacked. At the time, I was obsessed with various defense strategies for more than just protection. That started me down a dark path that could have held a very bad ending for me. However, my parents stopped me at the right time and moved me to a different school where bullying level was much lower. It took about twenty years for me to convert my anger towards my bullies into positive energy (something that they are trying to do with the article). It is not an easy thing to do.

Ugh. I am still waiting for those positive effects to happen I guess. But while waiting I went ahead and saw a psychiatrist and I just got his report today. Funny, he didn't say anything about it being a good thing for me either.

Actually what he said was "From a psychological perspective," [my name] "experienced peer rejection, teasing, and social isolation during adolescence, presumably because of social skills deficits and pragmatic language problems. The combination of these experiences also seems to be a contributor to her mood, anxiety, and attention problems."

Then he went ahead and listed those "mood, anxiety, and attention problems" under the "Diagnosis - DSM-5" section as follows... "social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, dysthymia, pragmatic language disorder (asperger's), ADHD".

So HEY thanks, people who bullied me as a kid. I just got to pay over $500 cash out of pocket to be diagnosed with stuff that my doctor himself says were caused in part by the bullying.

Any time those positive effects are ready to come on into my life, I'm here waiting. It's only been 35 years, I guess I can wait a little longer.

Yeah, bullying teaches you valuable lessons in life, just like the neighborhood pedophile only taught kids sexuality, if you ask him. And isn't it positive for the kids to learn this valuable lesson concerning the human character...?

In my opinion you don't need to derive something positive from negative just of obligation. Similarly you don't need to forgive of obligation, just because what happened is now talked in the past tense.

I personally can't ever forgive how some people played on my life. I have been able to forgive everything else that has happened to me in life. I lost so much and gained nothing. It is me who has to live on wounded. Their forgiveness is every laughter I still am able to laugh, every drop of love I still feel, thanks to other people. I am in no debt, they are.

Here's what happened to my case:
Positive Effects? I got those...
If such things ends up with things called "Anger" and "Hatred".

But then, somewhere in between the two, there's "Control". Control not from others, but to self if one could rid of their own anxiety (That includes PTSD and depression).


Rid of your anxiety, you'll see the positive effects alright. However, it can take time or luck. A certain kind of realization that has something to do with words "..because I can.", disregards regret, apathy towards useless negative feedbacks, and the reward of 'winning', as much as losing lost it's meaning or context. (Winning doesn't make you feel good, losing doesn't make you feel bad either)

End result? I tricked a few thinking I'm vulnerable and gullible because of my natural body language. They end up regretting it when I backfired them all. I harness that said "Anger" and "Hatred" out of them.
And I intend to use this protect the others, teach them in a way without making them 'suffer' as much as I had.

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That article had to have been a joke, a twisted attempt at comedy. I'm not laughing so I guess I don't get it, though.

I'd say in a way yes it can make you 'tougher' but it come at a price of never trusting people and being afraid of making friends so instead you act aloof or like a douche.

It means you may be able to cope with a dangerous environment but would feel out of place if you find yourself in a normal environment. You might end up causing trouble just to feel more secure. It means you might only understand that people are expected to bully you and that if people are nice to you that is impossible and cannot happen so you make them hate you on purpose. You literally can't handle people being friendly.

Cos this is what's up with me from being bullied. Mind you it was not just a few people but all my year group and for ages I thought it was fine and to be expected.

Hi Underwater: only the first two sentences of my earlier post, to which you responded, were addressing yours; sorry that I didn't make that clear at the time. There was no need for you to apologise, and the rest of the post was in response to the apologists, not yourself.

I would add about my generation, born very soon after the end of the second world war and growing up in the 1950s:

- that generation of children as a group were very definitely regarded as third class citizens undeserving of respect, whose status was considered immeasurably less than adults/parents/grandparents and they were not seen as having rights of self or protection for the main part.

-that as there was immense sympathy for the returned (an often very damaged) soldiers from the War, this was imposed as a yardstick to invalidate and silence any other kinds of victim, particularly the children (who were powerless) and it was common to hear parents say things like "Shut your face, what do you have to complain about?" even when a child had suffered some kind of painful injury.

I don't think we were more free, in fact less so, though what was different is that the kinds of oppression my generation faced were different from the kinds of oppression later cohorts faced, including the current young generation; each is free in some ways and not in others.

What would now be instantly recognised as very serious forms of child abuse were not even acknowledged by the adult world then and wilful denial was also entrenched. The double standards of the time are frightening to consider, even from this perspective of distance. It was a far more violent time in many ways, and some of the men were so damaged by the war - that as teachers, as fathers, as family members, they were unable to moderate their behaviour and no-one had any formal knowledge of parenting skills - it was just assumed that parents had the right to parent any way they wanted, the children were their 'property' to do as they wished with and if they abused them, people looked the other way.

Social media has hugely changed bullying. It would end as soon as you left the playground unless you saw them at the park or they went to your house or something. But now it's constant with no escape. Anything at school can continue online. There is probably less physical bullying though. Also smartphones to record and instantly upload anything. More mind games I suspect using bad videos as blackmail.