Looking for NT wives Married to AS Men

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I didn't see that this thread was started three years ago, during my dark period.

Here's something I don't get. If a relationship is a two-way thing, then why can't she try to understand the disorder so you could both try to work around the issues with that knowledge in mind rather than trying to force the AS partner into a mould? I've read too many posts by those Cassandra women on NT only websites about how aspies are incapable of love and cannot make compromises for the relationship because we apparently lack empathy.

Actually, aspies do love but don't always show it the way NT's are used to and the only reason why aspies in relationships don't work on it is because they have no idea what their wife/partner expects from them. The wife/partner does not effectively communicate their needs to AS partner because they assume that the their partner already should automatically know most (an NT partner because they read body language non-verbal cues etc, whereas a people with Asperger's have an impairment in non-verbal communication). Yet, those so-called Cassandra women complain on on-line forums that the Asperger's partner cannot love and is incapable of making compromises when in fact I can tell from their comments that they themselves have not done thing to really understand Asperger's or work around the communication issues which is actually the like cause of their relationship problems. They haven't even done their bit with regards to the two-way street. Tell me something, who is the one lacking empathy in this situation? If a relationship is a two-way thing, then how can all the relationship problems be his fault because he's not meeting her needs? Why is it all about him?

All that being said though, I'm glad you are trying to save your relationship. Although, everything I've said above explains the point of view from an aspie and why aspies get upset when this topic gets spoken about, at least in my opinion. I'm not going to pretend that Asperger's doesn't lead to relationship problems but you really have to be careful about what you say.

Also, I must point out that this forum is mainly for people the Asperger's themselves. NT's are welcome here but if say something that some aspies find offensive then don't be surprised if they respond.

I can't stand journalists. Let me guess. Since you are the "normal" wife, the story is going to be your husband is awful meanwhile you are great with no flaws. The story will include only your husband's flaws as sweet patient you just deals with it meanwhile not admitting perhaps there is something about you that could use some help and healing as well.

Journalists these days don't search for the truth but rather a story to sensationalize and turn people into side show freak spectacles.

NT+ AS can compliment each other only if the NT doesn't view the minor detailed approach as insignificant and pretend that the quicker approach to solving problems or doing tasks is the best way when actually sure it may be faster but it can also be viewed of as cutting corners.

The AS person can do the minor detailed oriented work that bores the big picture NT. The NT can tackle the big picture problem that requires efficiency over perfection.

I am someone with AS with NT partner that has some AS traits.

The journalist posted this thread three years ago in 2007. I don't think there's any reason to worry about her now. I just don't know why the person who I replied to doesn't want to reply to my post above.

I didn't see this post.

I don't like the idea of stirring up emotions with a thread that is old and cold, OP gone for YEARS. I'm going to lock, as a result. If that bothers anyone, they can pm me and I will reconsider.