How do you feel about "invisible" autistics?
The thing that troubles me the most is those who practically say "I love being autistic, being autistic is wonderful". There's a member here, who describes himself as an invisible autistic, who completely agrees with me on this. And like me would gladly take a pill that cures autism. Therefore he strikes me as someone who I can relate to.
I don't know how on one hand people can say they have such huge unseen struggles and torments from being autistic, but on the other hand say they love being autistic so very much. It makes no sense to me. They are the ones I relate to the least.
Sometimes, people appear to have no struggles, when they actually do. When I hear this, I don't mind it that much and think that they have either learned to cope better than I have, or have struggles that I don't know about.
I don't like it though, when autistics claim that they are "better" than other autistics because they don't have a struggle that another autistic person has.
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-Allie
Canadian, young adult, student demisexual-heteroromantic, cisgender female, autistic
Jacoby
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Joined: 10 Dec 2007
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Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash
I don't feel anything about them, I relate more to people that probably aren't considered 'invisible' and I don't particularly like how some people may skip over or dismiss the struggles others might have because they are more fortunate but I will be friendly with whoever is friendly with me. Generally speaking, I probably relate more with people in my peer group but that's not always true. It's more the condescending dismissive types that bother me than folks looking for peace of mind who already have most things figured out, very stark difference I think.
But yea, denying the disability is going to ruffle feathers because you don't need help and what you're doing is hurting people that do.
hipsters. the scourge of the earth...
ASPartOfMe
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ASPartOfMe, you don't think a statement like "I do sometimes get annoyed due to the fact that they arent affected very much" is an assumption?
Saying outright "they don't get affected very much" about someone the OP is labelling an "invisible" autistic who, again I quote "doesn't seem to be affected" is pretty much definitive of an assumption.
If someone walks up to me and says "You don't get affected that much by your autism," wooh that's about as much a complete assumption based on nothing as it can get.
And you're saying I'm making assumptions about the OP's assumptions? Thanks for the support. It's pretty clear cut to me.
Every time someone comes on here and makes sweeping statements, invalidating other people's diagnoses without ever having met those people or gotten closer to anything about what really goes on in their lives, those are assumptions of the utmost kind.
People make that brand of assumption around here on a regular basis -- one person making posts about high functioning people having it easy or the fact that someone got married and got a job must surely mean there is something wrong with their diagnosis/the clinician can't be an expert....these are pretty clearly the definition of "an assumption."
Because the person posting that kind of stuff -- the stuff this thread started with, had actually no true information at all about the person they're thinking of.
I'm not sure why you're picking holes in that; it's one of the clearer things about any of this.
There have been a lot of sweeping statements about not "real autistics" and we have usually been on the same side. Believe me upon seeing this thread my first thought was "Oh no, not again". But in the first sentence the OP did say "seem" to have no problems. The other sentence that qualifier was not there maybe upon further reflection the OP would add that qualifier. After asking questions the OP stated that personally "invisible autistics" that talk about about it is mostly ok but sometimes annoying. I do not see hostile intent there
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I relate to this so much. I always used to think I was an amazing communicator, and everyone else just sucked. Look at how CLEAR I was! Look at how UNAMBIGUOUS I was!
...
yeah. That was me, not them.
Wow, do I know this!
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Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven
I'm an invisible autistic who barely bothered passing.
You see, autism isn't biased. So, on any Era, on any Age, on any Culture, it has to taken account for what makes things biased.
I just happened to be in an easier culture. Where humor is based on timing and delivery, not wit. Where not having your own place at 35 does not equate failure or shame. Where if you're an asocial crapshot, you're still invited to parties.
The personality norm here is a bane -- more emotional, more irrational, more into expressions, and more ignorant than their foreigh counterparts -- NTs from the north, NTs from the west. But what makes up for all those contradictory traits is inclusion.
For me, there's no side here. Stupid it might sound, all I see is "human", "wants" and "needs", and "ways of learning".
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This is interesting, and something I have wondered before about people with "visible" disabilities that can be severe, such as Downs Syndrome, who are apparently perfectly capable of working, getting on with others and having relationships, dealing with their lives, etc. Comparing oneself to others in this way seems doomed to come out negatively, as it seems obvious that if people "worse off" can function, then the only reason anyone comparatively "mild" can't is because they're lazy, uncommitted, weak, faking, etc.
But it may not be down to severity, even among autistics, but a question of difference.
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.
I´m one of the invisibles too, but within a rather short period of interaction (fist week in a job) people seem to find, that something is different - annoying/puzzling. Some people think, I´m a little "funny" right away....naïve maybe.
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Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven
I see it as mostly positive, because it seems like there is more focus on LFA, so when the people OP called "invisible" autistic are open about it, it shows the diversity, which is good. The spectrum part of ASDs is so important to stress, and also how the traits vary from person to person.
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BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
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The attitude they have doesn't matter.
What matters is what they can prescribe as cures. Can your doctor prescribe six sessions of speech therapy and twelve sessions of occupational therapy based on a new diagnosis of Autism to someone that is 50 years old? A prescription is useless if nobody is willing to pay for it.
http://www.asha.org/Advocacy/state/Stat ... -Mandates/
Most of these mandates specify that services are for children. Good luck getting insurers to pay for services to older adults.
Thank you.
That prescription is worthless if you can't find a provider, forget paying for it.
Where I live, there are NO providers that will do those services on the patient you sugested. That is my husband. OT/PT/SP all seem to want to work the minors because a) parents have deep pockets or insurance will pay and/or b) adults can be a PITA if they aren't totally on board with the process. A parent will cracking with whip on their kid, but if the 50 year old dogs the therapy not much you can do.
Do you know how bad it feels that you'd be wIlling to pay for therapy, and nobody will do it?
The only thing my husband can get is a shrink to work on his "depression and anxiety", which is directly traceable to his ASD. But since ASD supposedly vanishes at age of majority, no reason to work on that since it isn't here now. *sarcasm*
The thing is, even people coming up who were diagnosed at age 5 or whatever, that yawning lack of services is still there. Oh, you might get help in college, but once you have that degree, the buck stops there. Unless your parents have very deep pockets and connections. In the US, the attitude is since you got that degree, you have enough brain cells to deal. If you can't deal, it's a character flaw on your end.
You almost have to derail to a guardianship scenario before anyone moves their collective asses. Even then, as an adult, ASD is punted to mental health. The good thing is noone can force you to get treatment. The bad thing is you may spiral so far down, it may be near impossible to get back to baseline.
The whole system is messed up.
I mostly think its okay but i do sometimes get annoyed due to the fact that they arent affected very much but still make a big deal out of it and even sometimes spread misinformation
I don't understand people like that who like to announce they have autism. Why is it so important and relevant? My dad doesn't go around telling people he is a diabetic. If you can act normal and behave normal, why tell people? Unless you are having a moment or an episode, then tell it because it then becomes relevant. Then people will understand you can act normal for the most part but when you get stressed out or overwhelmed, that is when the autism comes out. But I guess some are so proud of it, they wear it like it's a badge so they publicly announce it. To me it's very weird but okay, whatever floats their boat.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
They probably wouldn't be diagnosable. The DSM clearly states there has to be a significant impairment in social and occupational functioning. So if their autism isn't a problem for them except only a nuisance, they would probably be seen as having traits but not enough to be autistic.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
paradox_puree
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 11 Jul 2016
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 31
Location: San Jose, CA
When I start to have communication challenges with people, I try to explain that I communicate like an autistic person and need things to be very literal, explicit, and direct. That's about the only time I talk about it. I should probably include it when I have my meltdowns, too, come to think about it, since those are probably related. Up until now, I've just kinda shrugged and said "I don't know what's up with me. PTSD flashback thing maybe?"
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