How come there are so many books about Asperger's and Girls?

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There might be a little cultural difference going on here. In Germany, Fruedian psychoanalysis is still considered legit therapy. Here in the US, it is not. It turns my stomach to hear it touted, although I'm sure you didn't mean it to do so. (Very glad that you put a note that English isn't your first language, as this allowed me to change my perception.)

So, in the US, "covert narcissim" is an informal use of the word. It does not apply to the official diagnosis. But that word is being used in different ways in Germany (and France, too, one would assume.) Just a cultural thing.

Can we assume that US definitions apply here because this site is sourced in the US?

It would be an interesting debate. Maybe for another thread.

My ex was a covert narcissist that is why you wouldn't notice he is one if you don't know about covert narcissism. They do not fit the NPD criteria so that is why they go unnoticed and why they are considered the most dangerous narcissists and low functioning. From my personal experience, they may also hide behind other labels like PTSD, depression, anxiety. I am sure these people also get misdiagnosed if the therapist is not aware of covert narcissism. Also people with it tend to be naive, gullible, and trusting but I think that may be due to them being so self absorbed and self centered and selfish. My ex was naive and he was always getting "screwed over." He was also very sensitive and very needy. He cried a lot and he would get very upset if I wanted to be alone or go to bed. I was so "self centered" but that was just projection there. I don't think he was really aware of himself and because narcissists are usually not aware, that is why they rarely change. He was just a unhappy guy. They may not realize they even have a problem and might only think they just have depression or anxiety or social anxiety or just think other people are the problem. Some even have thought they had Asperger's according to the psychforums I had been on about NPD. There are some who are aware of their narcissism. I think the ones who are unaware wouldn't be posting on narcissism forums talking about their condition. But there are some with it who see no problem with having it.

Because nobody cares about men and their feelings, as a matter of fact no one thinks men have feelings. 75% of the people with Autism are male and that is why there is hardly no research done concerning the disorder, it doesn't effect anybody's mother, sister, wife, or girlfriend. Right now breast cancer, domestic violence against women (apparently that doesn't happen to men at all), and HPV are more important because they effect females.

The main difference between someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and someone who is egocentric is that Narcissists do not seek approval nor want it from others, egocentric people do seek approval and are upset when they don't receive it. From the behavior you are describing, it sounds like your ex was an Aspie and not an actual Narcissist.

No he fit the profile of covert narcissism, the emotional abuse, the controlling behavior, the humiliation, the mind games and manipulation, it all makes sense now and why I found his behavior confusing. I am not going to go there labeling abusers as aspies and as*holes as aspies and labeling aspies as abusers like those women do on AS Partners. This is very dangerous because this is why victims enable the abuse because they keep giving their partners excuses and letting them get away with it. Also this turns victims into bigots about aspies thinking they're all abusers.

Now is it possible for an aspie to be a narcssist, it's possible. I don't see why they can't be immune to it.

Now I am going to stop since I am now having an anxiety attack typing this and my hands shaking. My blog in in the link and I talked about his abuse so I won't say anymore.

Where did you get that information from? I honestly believe that i have never heard anyone claim that in my life.

I wasn't aware there were even this many books about Asperger's at all, and certainly not ones about female aspies since it's like we don't exist. Very surprising.

They don't have to overtly say it, all they have to do is objectify men in every sitcom during dialogue featuring female friends saying things like "he's not a great choice, he doesn't have a very good job" or "he still lives at home with his parents", or when they show pictures of Charlie Hunman in his underwear and say things like "the perfect man" as if you said things like that about Kate Upton it wouldn't be sexist.

It sucks for you guys, bet any money you don't usually get diagnosed as adults either because everyone thinks your problem is that you are just a b**ch with no filter on her mouth.

Not just adults. They say the same thing about aspie kids as well. All age groups.

I've had some really awful conversations with people who said "Aspergers doesn't exist. It was just made up as an excuse for "bad" behavior".

I think by "bad behavior" they meant nonconformist behavior. Either that or not acting like a sycophant before authority figures.

Because nobody cares about men and their feelings

Don't say that. You don't want people here to think you have feelings do you? Men should just deal with their feelings or ignore them completely. Not cry about them or express negative emotions.

[/sarcasm]

In truth this reminds me of my ex. We both had depression. She dumped me because I didn't give her "emotional support". When I talked about my similar depression she said "deal with it".

More women are diagnosed with depression than men. Does that mean more women have depression or does it mean depressed women are more likely to be diagnosed than depressed men?

I don't have many feelings.

Good, that means you're a real man