Aspergers is not an excuse.

Post Reply New Topic

No. I read the entire post, and as I said, while I am glad for OP, the title itself is offensive, as is the concluding premise, which is clearly "you could make it if you would just stop using aspergers as an excuse." It is offensive. His success is not - the preaching and implicit assumption about others along with the tough-love "buck up" message is offensive. And it demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding about autism as a spectrum disorder with lots of comorbidities, variances in availability of assistance, differing life challenges etc. There is NO one size fits all.

So no - OP should change the title of the post and drop the preachy attitude where he holds himself, ONE person on the spectrum) up as proof that not being as successful is evidence of hiding behind "an excuse", rather than having a disability. A disability that varies widely in its impact.

I'm curious, why? I can understand that you're happy to have acheived your own personal goals but why do you "hope to encourage others to acheive their's" too? I'm not being argumentative, I'm simply curious because personally I'm extremely self centred and I don't give a rat's left testicle for other people's aims, ambitions, goals, problems or anything else. So obviously I personally wouldn't want to offer help or support to total strangers (or to anyone else for that matter). Personally I have no goals or ambitions, I just live from day to day and that's perfectly sufficient for me.

Because I had an urge to help others.

I was the person whose quote you used first. I am a 59 year old virgin who has been diagnosed for over 3 years not had any real employment in over 10 years but was doing well employment wise at 28 and who has been told plenty of times stop using excuses for what I now know are "failures" at least were partially caused by Autistic traits a lot caused by bieng different from the NT world. Most of my life I believed these failures were caused by my charactor flaws. So I get the "triggering", my first reaction to this thread was "Oh not this s**t again". But the "ahem" using my autistic literal reading "tool" I came to a different conclusion.

Once upon a time on WP the saying "Asperger is an explanation, not an excuse" was used as often as often as "Autism is a spectrum" is still used today. I still think that is a good message for many on here but of course not everybody because Autism is a spectrum condition/disorder. Explanation explains the good and the bad. The cliche does not mean minimize the importance of your autism in your bad decisions/outcomes but the opposite. Not using it as an excuse means reconizing it was you who made the bad decision no matter how much your autism or society figured into the decision. Using your strengths autistic or not to try and achieve a positive is never a bad thing.

I am not good at taking care of the house at all. My room is a mess(and I don't currently have any energy to clean up) and my cooking is so bad today I am having a stomachache due to undercooked "heat and eat" meal (because I decided to cook it in microwave instead of pan or oven). -_-' So I can't imagine myself assisting anyone.

And I am not disabled enough to get that kind of services - you need disability level 2 or 3 to get an assistant, I only have disability level 1.

I signed myself to an EU project helping people with disabilities finding a job ( https://translate.google.pl/translate?s ... t=&act=url ) today though so perhaps something will change. I doubt they will help me though - usually such projects ale held by totally irresponsible people simply because holding it means money for their company. I wonder if they even heard about Asperger.

I like you, Kiriae. I've "known" you for a couple of years.

I did notice that you are excellent at fixing things, and that you have an excellent visual intelligence in general.

I also wish your father would treat you better.

I hope I can find a way to assist you a little.

\../
"::"
/ \ I give up! I read that I'm supposed to have a chip on my shoulder or am begrudgingly toxic because don't appreciate the OP!

If I manage to fail at everything I attempt from now until I'm dead than there's nothing that I can do about it. I certainly wouldn't blame my autism for it and if I succeed at everything I attempt from today forward than I certainly won't credit my autism, either.

What the OP doesn't seem to understand is that I was talking about how the narrative about success and failure for people with autism needs to change. How many relationships I've had, how many friendships I've made, my popularity, the places I've gone, the challenges I've mastered, the degrees I have, my career successes, why must I use NT benchmarks of success or failure that don't apply to me?
I don't fit IRL, measure up in it, haven't ever and won't in the NT world. I accept that I'm different and it would be to the benefit of the NT world if it would accept, appreciate, and accommodate that difference. It doesn't. Why am I being attacked on WP for stating a fundamental position of the neurodiversity movement?

Because I never advocated others to do similar to the goal I've achieved.

This is getting tiring. If you're triggered then go elsewhere. I'm not really up for a long drawn out argument about this.

Because you are breaking another fundimental position of the neurodiversity movement. We have the right to define our own success. We have the right to put our story into our own words and to have our own values respected. His values are different than yours. That doesn't make either of you a better or worse advocate.

You can't advocate for the rights of autistic people by shutting down an autistic person.

This is someone else's thread. If you want to talk about your own definition of success, you have every right to create a thread to promote that.

I suck pretty bad, too. But I want to suck less.

I don't care about NT standards. I care about human standards. Autistic people are human, last I heard.

Yer damn tootin' Asperger's is not an excuse. However, you have yet to experience all the bullsh!t I put up with in the 40+ years I was working, and the bullsh!t i put up with even to this day. Come back and talk to me when you're 40+, burnt out, in debt up to your a$$, and everyone and your brother tells you to f!ck yourself when you ask for help. You'll understand then why I gave up.

Ashbashbeard, Congratulations on all of your hard work. I enjoy reading success stories and I wish you a wonderful life. Just remember, your new journey is just starting and you must be careful to avoid the problems that can lead to burnout and failure.

Ashbashbeard, good for you!

As another Irish person living and working in the UK away from family and friends, I say well done and keep up the good work. It's not easy.

Yes congrats! and I echo the above.

I've learned to accept my diagnosis but the thing I hate the most about Aspergers is the feeling of powerlessness it gives you by making you feel like you're unable to reach out to anyone. You feel like your planted to the ground and you're not strong enough to pull yourself out

While I understand you idea of never giving up for some people certain things may be unachievable & beating ones head against the wall trying to achieve them is actually counter productive to having a happy life.

When Jacob Barnett was in special ed they worked on things he couldn't do & only created a very very unhappy boy that was worse off than if he was left alone. He blossomed though when they gave up forcing him to do things he couldn't do & his mom started focusing on things he could do. He became one of the world's premier mathematicians. He is currently working on his PHD at age 18. If they had continued forcing him to do things he couldn't do & not letting him do the thing he loved & was actually good at he would have been a failure. Giving up on useless goals allowed him to be a success at what made him happy & what made him happy also made him a success. One however does not need to be a worldly success to be happy though. Happiness can be it's own success.

Not every one can be like this. The lesson though is to not beat your self up trying to achieve the unachievable & focus on what makes you happy. Giving up on unachievable goals leaves you more energy to put towards achievable goals or happiness if that is your goal