What did you think was wrong before you heard about AS?

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I thought that it was what ever they were diagnosing me with at the time. I couldn't understand why none of the meds worked the way they were supposed to and in one case one of the meds was a worse experience than life without it. I also couldn't understand why several years of "therapy" didn't get me any closer to the root of the "problem". When I finally got diagnosed however it wasn't a relief at first, in fact at the time it made me feel that everyone who ever picked on me were justified and right after all (I was only 14 at the time). It took me a long time to realize the error in that, but I think I still have those thoughts in the back of my mind from time to time (especialy in social situations) even though I know that it is wrong. So I would say that it has been bittersweet for me overall.

I thought I was "crazy" or "about to go crazy" and that I "sounded like a ret*d person". Or else that I was subconsciously making myself incapable of things and needed to convince my subconscious to change.

I thought everybody else was the ones who were weird haha. I thought I was the normal one, until I started noticing that I really was the only one hand flapping, or spinning in circles like crazy, then I thought I had was wayyyy too immature, I just convinced myself there is a baby inside in me, and now shes 3, and that she like controls me haha!

I really don't know the meaning of an erê, I know only it is a kind of possession in which a child gets your body.

Yea if you can, that would be great!

I thought that I was just weird...destined to be different from every other person. I figured my social problems came from me being shy and extremely introverted. I was somewhat lost in my own world when I was younger and I was convinced that I was some sort of alien or something. I was really content with the theory until I entered my teen years. I felt like an insane freak.

I know spanish and I speak some spanish, it is my native language, but I can't really keep a conversation in spanish, or anything. I was adopted into an american family and therefore learned how to speak english instead.

"Erê - é o intermediário entre a pessoa e seu Orixá, é o aflorar da criança que cada um guarda dentro de si; reside no ponto exato entre a consciência da pessoa e a inconsciência do orixá. É por meio do Erê que o Orixá expressa sua vontade, que o noviço aprende as coisas fundamentais do candomblé, como as danças e os ritos específicos de seu Orixá.

Erê - is the intermediary (messenger) between the person and his Orixá, is the shown of the child everyone save inside himself; rests at the exact point between person consciousness and orixá inconsciousness. Is by Erê means that the Orixá shows his will, that the beginer learn cancomblé's fundamentals as dances and specific rictuals of his Orixá.

Orixá is one of many divinitys. Well my poor understanding telle me Erê is a messenger between you and your governing divinity.

I used to just think everyone else was just stupid. Which hasn't really changed.

When I was little I was oblivious to my lack of normalcy. In high school I became somewhat delusional, thinking that I was special and destined to do wonderful things. During college I realised that I hated everyone in the world and everyone in the world hated me, so there must be another world somewhere where I should be. Then I just thought I was crap for a while.

Since finding out about AS I don't feel so bad about who I am, but there are still traits that i hate in myself and would quite happily get rid of.