Slowly starting to realize we don't feel empathy

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Autism runs the gamut----functioning ranges from extremely marginal to extremely gifted.

Emotions can be hard to read. I frequently can't tell when someone is getting mad until they finally explode and then when they do explode, I'm completely surprised by it.

Does having trouble with empathy make one a sociopath? I can see the argument that a sociopath probably can't empathize with others, but not the other way around.

I'm still trying to understand how Roy Moore (running for the Senate in the special election in Alabama) could argue as the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme that someone convicted of raping a 4 year old child should get a new trial because he was not permitted to argue to the jury that he didn't force the 4 year old child to have sex.

See Higdon vs Alabama.

A sociopath feels justified in not having empathy.

It was the only response I could bring myself to make at the time without going on a big long rant.
I was labeled as a sociopath (antisocial personality disorder) when I was younger, and found that label to be inaccurate and damaging.
While I may have difficulty with empathy and emotion, I don't meet the majority of the criteria required in order to be called a sociopath. But it still eats me up, rather often. So, seeing that word thrown around really sets me off sometimes.
And that's the best I can do right now.

A psychology student once told me that I was the most antisocial person he ever met. Apparently, answering a question truthfully makes you antisocial in his mind. After he graduated he went to work at a reform school and so I suspect he met some rather antisocial people there.

You mentioned the problem with people feeling freer to "speak their mind". There seems to be the idea in many that "Free Speech" means being able to say whatever they want, no matter how hurtful or insulting, to others and that they should be applauded for doing so.

Unfortunately, some people, including some on this site, feel free to lash out at others. While they may have had some good things to think about, their lashing out with personal attacks destroys their credibility and makes the good things they have to say immaterial.

I re-registered under this username yesterday and am abandoning my previous username. While doing so, I noticed something that I had never noticed before -- that we can identify other posters as Friends or as Foes. If identified as a Foe, "Foes are users which will be ignored by default. Posts by these users will not be fully visible." I'm looking forward to using that. Maybe that will reduce my temptation to respond in kind on occasion.

I bet you get a lot of those in New York City.

I feel too much empathy.

I've realized already that there are people that I generally need to avoid, and that if I do read posts or threads by them I need to make it a point to avoid responding. But I also see people I'm beginning to appreciate the opinions of posting in threads that I'm avoiding, and I think that using the foe button might make some of those conversations rather disjointed.

Sorry to have used the S label. I just meant it just as a word for what I was trying to say, not as a derogatory term. Any kind of label like that is just as complex as autism.

No harm done.
I don't think it was you I was initially responding to, either.
But thanks for the apology, nonetheless.

It's weird how something can follow a person around for twenty years and then jump up and bite them out of nowhere sometimes.

I talked to my psychologist about empathy while I was being diagnosed and the fact I seem have empathy on extreme ends I feel bad if lie or mislead someone or wrong someone even by accident, I was forced to mislead people for couple months in my old job doing repairs/quotes in electronics after change ownership made me physically sick in gut so I quit, But I don't have a lot empathy for people that brings crap on them self's and I normally avoid comforting people who are visibly upset just because makes me uncomfortable but I do feel bad for them I just know I wouldn't be much help. My psychologist said that a lot people on spectrum like me have more genuine empathy ie help people because we want too without alternate motives or just because its expected in certain situations like a lot NT's which I tend to agree with in my case anyway.

Yep. That would explain why my previous girlfriend called me selfish and why my current girlfriend says I don't care about her.

I'm not intentionally selfish or uncaring, it's just that that there are dozens of selfish little things I do every day without being aware of it. I truly don't notice these things until after they're pointed out.

I don't want to be selfish but I'm often unaware of it. I think for every incident that got pointed to me, there must be 10 or 20 that I'm still not aware of.

For example, last night my girlfriend got mad at me for crossing a busy road faster than she could follow. I wouldn't have done it had I known this would upset her. I often forget that tall people like myself walk at a faster pace.

Afterwards I feel terrible, after I've become aware of my mistake. So I do have empathy in the sense of feeling bad about someone else's suffering after I've become aware of it but I don't have empathy in the sense of being able to tell when someone is suffering without them telling me (unless it's really obvious). I don't think I'm a sociopath because a sociopath wouldn't feel remorse for causing suffering even after they've become aware of the fact.

It can be hard for an aspie guy to get a girlfriend in the first place but if you do get a girlfriend, there's a high probability of her leaving you within the first few weeks or months due to her thinking your unintentional selfish acts were done intentionally.

Ah, but is this really you being selfish, or her being oversensitive?
It's all very easy, it seems, to blame autistic people for being callous or insensitive or selfish, so others can get out of any responsibility for their own actions.
I'm assuming your girlfriend is of a comparative age to you? If so she's a big girl, she can manage to cross a road by herself without you there to hold her hand. And if she did want to keep up with your judgement of the traffic, little people can still jog.
I wouldn't have considered this as insensitive or selfish or any way out of line. But then, I don't have empathy, so maybe it is. As far as I can see it was just a difference in judgement calls about when it was or wasn't safe to cross. If you thought so and she didn't, she can wait until she judges it safe and you can just wait for her on the other kerb.
Why is that a reason to get angry?
I'm not having a shot at your girlfriend - it just seems that these sorts of instances are used to make autistics believe they're lacking something or have made a social mistake, when it's not justified.

So essentially what you're saying is you would happily push someone off a cliff if you knew you could get away with it, because you experience constant boredom and that would make you entertained, as you have exerted power over an individual? Or you look for people who are weaker so you can expand your sphere of influence and manipulate a situation, gaining absolute power? Or do you wish for a country's collapse and do everything in your power to eliminate any structure of government so you can exploit and harm those who don't show absolute submission? Have you frequently ended up in jail? Do you break laws, torture animals, children? Not all sociopathic people do these but very few, if any at all, will abstain completely from them. Our empathy seems to be far more adequate than many neurotypicals even. I'm capable of understanding people's cues when I learn about them, but Sociopathic individuals have their emotions so finely tuned they're able to do anything with themselves and to others. I care about others, I feel their pain, I try to help them, I experience shock, sadness, pleasure, pain, and deep emotions in general including empathy.

Perhaps you're only speaking for yourself in this case. I have had a long time disgust in Sociopaths and would be perfectly fine doing to them what they do to us. They make the mistake of thinking they're needed in our society. That's one crime (sending them all to an island to fight each other to death) the closest I'll get to one. People who lack Empathy are a small minority and a major threat. Even if I could myself, I would not manipulate anyone, except those who do harm to others, because I have a sense of morality and justice. I like to stand up for those who can't, and when I can't stand up for myself I take crap knowing I'm doing it in place of someone else. There are many people who accuse us of being Sociopaths (or people with similar ailments), and some sites are made exclusively from some stupid as*holes who continuously accuse us, so I'm weary to even consider accepting your claims as you could easily be one of "those" people. I'll accept another form of personality disorder like AvPD or even Borderline in some severe Aspergers cases, but I don't think any person I've ever met who has AS shows antisocial traits. Quite the opposite in fact.