Are people afraid of you?

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Fear often isn't rational.

I've been roofied in West Hollywood, almost every straight guy who hangs in West Hollywood has. Go to the Gold Coast. It's the roofy capital of LA.

that sounds like satanic central point. i'd live elsewhere.

I only drank half the beer but my buddy drank all of his roofied beer and was out of control. I locked him out of my apartment so I could be alone until the crap wore off. He slept in my truck.

It was definitely a gay guy who roofied us.

why go to those awful places??

I will never step foot in gay bar again.

that reminds me, when I was young and pretty I inadvertently set foot in a gay bar, I was lost and was seeking directions, and aside from being stared at like a wolf stares at a piece of fresh meat, I did not occur to me that it mighta been a gay establishment until I stepped outside and then it hit me, there were only men in there.

I feel like mostly women but some men too look over their shoulder when I’m in public or they seem to keep looking at me or seem nervous at my presence.

It’s annoying. I am not interested in them or their lives.

Yes. Me.
I lack the anxiety and have the excess in reactivity that can result violence especially in childhood.

The difference between now and then is that I don't have as much reactivity anymore.
Still the same lack of anxiety though.


My expressions -- I don't lack them. I don't think that's the issue or reason.

However, I don't mask.
I don't pass as neurotypical 100%. I also don't pass as an adult half the time.

Yet I also am not a vulnerable looking target either.
Maybe they do sense that I can and will fight back.

That, and I tend to (not on purpose) startle people sometimes.


But no -- I don't have a notorious reputation.
No, I'm not a full blown creep. I'm just a moody 5'4 female who can pass for a high schooler.

I don't dress outrageously either, yet I'm also the type who would walk alone on a dark street without looking like a prey.

Sometimes people just sense my mood enough to make them feel either very safe and deem me approachable and greet me -- or unsafe and creepy enough to back out because of my apparent lack of fear and 'not being in an amiable mood'.

Either ways, I like the fact that I can either intimidate or charm.
I wonder if I can do both...

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No. It's them I'm afraid of, usually. I'm planning to go down to the store to buy some eggs, but there might be someone there who will suddenly turn violent because of the US election. And it won't be me.

No people don't usually seem scared of me, and they never have. Only times I've ever alarmed people is when they've tried to push me around too much or started hassling me, and then I've been known to (metaphorically) shake them a bit, which is called getting angry, and I suppose that's what anger is for. I just do that to get them to back off. One bloke in a supermarket came up and demanded I apologise for clipping his trolley, which I don't think I did, so I wouldn't apologise. He threatened to "get me outside" if I didn't, so I said I'd get him if he didn't shut up, and to my surprise he left me alone.

My appearance has never been physically intimidating except when I took a few stern-looking selfies of my face just for fun and somebody remarked "do not spill this man's pint." Only a photo of course but I suppose it proves I can look threatening.

I've been known to feel a tad scared of some other people, usually on dark nights, often on the streets in the inner-city area where I used to live, which is probably just realistic. Some of them do look like they're going to go ape. I don't go out at night alone much these days unless I really have to, and then if I pass anybody who looks at all menacing I try to look a bit tough and decisive. No idea whether it works or not but nobody's ever attacked me, except one weirdo who extended his hand as if to greet me and then at the last moment punched me as hard as he could on my forearm. I was so surprised that I didn't think to retaliate till he'd gone, but we met later, in the daytime - he demanded money, I told him sternly to keep away from me, and he backed down.

Another time in a public toilet in the town centre this bunch of yobbos showed me a knife. Then one of them said "do you want it? It's been in seven bodies." Another said "he'll need it." I said "no, I'd better not, I'd only get into trouble," and gave it back. I left the place, and it was only after a few minutes that I started feeling anxious. I still don't quite know what their game was. I guess they were trying to scare me, which they did, only not quickly enough for them to notice. I've no idea what they'd done if I'd panicked while they were still there.

Needless to say, it's usually men who make me feel intimidated, but it hasn't happened much. Most men just mind their own business but you can't be too careful.

I've been told my eyes could make me look intimidating. I can give hard eye contact when I'm wanting to make a point about something. It could also be my body language, in combination with broad shoulders and taller than average (I'm a woman).

I've intimidated people WITHOUT trying. One time at around 6 am I burst out my condo and ran across a parking lot (the lot was across the street) to tell the man who was operating the garbage truck for the huge dumpster that he wasn't supposed to be out there before 7 am. I had already contacted the waste management company that their trucks were barreling through there sometimes as early as 445 AM, waking me, and they said they'd put a stop to that.

I could see the guy visibly trembling as I looked him square in the eye (this is why eye contact can be SO important sometimes!! !) and made my case. But I didn't mean to scare him! I was just a woman who'd been yanked out of her sleep needlessly, and aggravated that the truck route manager had not fixed the problem.

Another time, smoking was banned in a production facility I worked at, but I found out that two women were smoking in the women's locker room on their breaks. So when I knew they'd be in there, I sat on a bench and just relaxed, waiting for them to see if they'd light up. This happened a few times; they'd come in. They didn't light up. No word were exchanged. I was later called into a supervisor's office and told not to go in there waiting for them because it was intimidating them.