How do i stop

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had a very good day today

Excellent! I am so happy for you!
((englishguy))

What change explains why you had a better day? Did you do something to create change?

Look dude, if you don't want to help yourself nobody ever will be able to help you.

First step is never say never as cliche as it sounds. Instead say: " it is HARD, yes, BUT I am capable of change and I WILL change!". Nothing is set and that's that nothing to do in the matter. So firstly change your mindset.

If you don't wanna work hard just remember rewards don't grow on trees. Don't you get any punishment for your destructive behavior? Where is your sense of adult responsibility?

Imagine what girl would like you in your current state. Sure you want a GF but don't think about yourself think about the girl being in a relationship with you having to suffer through your tantrums.

If you progress slowly but surely, one goal at the time, most importantly removing your destructive behavior - then you will see how things will brighten up eventually and maybe you'll be able to hold a relationship with a girl .

Yeah maybe just realising that I am much luckier then other people. I am 26 now as its my birthday and the start of my future

Good to hear of your progress.