"Heartlessaspergers.com" wtf is that?!

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I've just read some of the things on her site and it is so insulting to the autism community, that it has made my blood boil. She can't get away this. She even put that Aspies are manipulators and lie all the time. I'm sorry, but I always thought Aspies were too honest and manipulation is a weakness of most Aspies. In fact SHE'S being the manipulating, lying one who lacks empathy. She really is. And yet she's allowed to have this site that just feeds false information to people.

I wish I could write to this bastard and tell her what I think. I nearly did email her, but I'm scared in case she might track me down and get the police on to me. She seems that sort. She seems like an angry person, with no compassion or knowledge about autism at all. She even looks angry and cunning in her profile picture. Somebody needs to say something, do something about this, before she brainwashes more NTs into thinking that we're all heartless monsters.

^^This Guy is Good!! !!

Err, what do I do now?

removed my posts as it's probably not appropriate for a mod to do this.

I don't know what kind of fun went on during the night, but am going to try to put my own response into perspective. First, I got carried away when I saw this site and some of the sites it led me to bashing aspies, and because of this I probably misinterpreted that there is a an emerging neurotypical movement against aspies. I suppose there could be at some time in the future, but I would not worry about it right now. Still good to keep an eye on this kind of thing, though, and try to understand it, and imo this over emphasis on the aspie/nt dichotomy--us against them or them against us--is an over-stereotyped way of thinking that is unwholesome (as many aspies themselves have suggested--have read many such messages on here-- and this could lead to a social backlash, but if not that, is ultimately really not self-serving.

I still am sure a particular therapist made this site for the purpose of trying to gain some clients and get two hundred dollars for talking to someone by video for fifty minutes, and also probably because *it is her own special interest and she got obsessed with it,* That can happen:-) This said, I don't think that many people are going to be affected by that site. What is fascinating to me is the way she takes so many observations with maybe some kind of truth in them and distorts the material by over-generalization and also for the means of personal gain and seemingly on some level is doing so with an underlying perspective of rancor. The question does arise if she is doing this consciously to harm autistic people, but first we would have to define what is means to do something consciously. I will tentatively define it as having an intent you are aware of, which intent motivates your personal action.

So, a quick examples of one way in which she overgeneralizes: a lot of the behavior she attributes to male aspies in a relationship I would personally, from somewhat extensive experience, attribute to men in general. (Not all men, but a very lot of men). That is so obvious. Many men, not just (some) aspie men are, as she puts it, "mind-blind" to the feelings of women, and it can go the other way, too. What really irks me is that she does not see the women who is married to these particular aspie males as being equally a part of a bad relationship. As already mentioned by someone on this thread, she paints these woman as the victims of manipulators, whereas in truth the woman themselves are an equal part of it. I would venture to hypothesize that anyone in a dysfunctional relationship could benefit from some kind of help, but I would not try to get it from her, and my guess is that not that many people do, especially after those two reviews on yelp. which is probably why she made her website. All of this said, a disclaimer: what I have written about her being behind this website is sheer speculation on my part, based on the subjectively perceived circumstantial evidence, and I have no objective proof of it.

Hi. I am trying not to make too many messages on this thread, so some imo important ideas being presented (not just by me) are not lost in the wash. I did link to the yelp reviews on page 2, but it is also possible with little effort to google and find it yourself. Also, I think it's not a bad idea to read the whole thread---pretty easy to do, as there are a only a few pages, and lot of one liners.

***The reason I am replying to this now is that I think it might be a good idea to not leave any material on yelp, at least not right now, as her goose is already kind of cooked there, and if something is working, don't try to fix it; maybe later, though, but if I were ever to do so, I would need advice about how to proceed, as if people start to mess with her there, yelp could remove all the reviews and it could play into her favor. Also, remember it is sheer speculation that she made this website.

Now that I am already making this message, might as well put in some further feedback about her simplistic way of approaching: she is taking a lot of information that I would consider to apply to many groups of people, generally speaking, very many, and particularizing it toward a certain group. This (form of particularization) is actually a form of generalization. It may seem a bit confusing, but consider chewing on it for a while, maybe-- Like a co(w) chews it's cu(e)d:-)

So why do some people think/feel that people who are autistic are lacking empathy? I hope someone here is able to answer this question for me. I do know that all kinds of people are to some degree more or less empathetic and that most people, including most autistic people are able to experience empathy, some very deeply. so where did this idea about autistic people come from? Is there no basis for it at all? Did someone or many people just make it up, and is this just a myth that is being perpetrated?

Re the person who created this site being some kind of therapist, and I think she is, do you think this is the only therapist who has wrong ideas and or/wrong behavior? What if a "mind blind" person chooses a mind blind therapist? How would they know they did so? And the mind blind therapist would not know that she herself is mind blind in that she is mainly preoccupied with and getting paid lots of money for calling other people mind blind. She is getting rewarded for it, which is just how the human mind is conditioned, by pleasurable experience (reward) interspersed occasionally at random or semi random intervals by a negative stimuli. So,,,,if reading that kind of website is a negative experience, and I understand that it could be, as it was for me, how would the principle of reward function in relationship to that? By not reading it? I write this to illustrate that the fragmented mind cannot function comprehensively by dealing only in fragments.

This is leading up to the question, why would a person need to see a therapist to help them extricate themselves from a relationship that is obviously dysfunctional, especially if they,themselves are so-called neurotypical. Makes no sense.

It's just scary that in 2019 there are lots of people out there who still believe autistics are psychopaths. I mean, in that hate-speech, it basically explains how to deal with a psychopath. The whole thing is sarcastic and angry and hasty, I can tell that from a mile off.

My cousin was in a relationship with a psychopath. He was controlling, isolated her from family and friends, told such convincing lies, and was capable of beating her up if she didn't obey his rules. She was too frightened to breathe, which was what he wanted. He was heartless. He didn't give 2 craps about her, as long as everything was going his way. He didn't love her, he was just using her to control and get his luxuries using her money and getting her into debt. Nobody else mattered, only him. Now that is a psychopath. An autistic partner would not typically treat someone like that (unless the autistic was also a psychopath, but that would not be their autism).

Autism and psychopathy are not the same. Why can't that b***h get it into her thick head?

I think any as*hole out there that wants to use autism as an excuse for being abusive or for being a bigot is a scum. I will just tell them "So autistic people are as*holes then and it causes them to be bigots? Got it. Yep that is why they are toxic and why we must stay away from them. People like you are the reason why those websites exist."

Nope, I will never buy into that someone is abusive because they are autistic or that they are a bigot is because they are autistic and their "concrete thinking" keeps them from understanding. I am talking about my ex here. Once they use autism as an excuse, this is what they are implying here and the message they are sending to people and it hurts the other autistic people out there.