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When did you realise your life was going to be different?

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JimSpark
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26 May 2019, 7:08 am

Daniel89 wrote:
How old were you when you realised your life was going to be different to everyone else's? What events led you to that?


I realized this 3 years ago at the age of 46, around the time of my ASD diagnosis. Before that, although I had many different inclinations/experiences/outcomes as others my age and/or others around me at home or work, I believed that I was still basically like everyone else and would live a normal life, just like the lives everyone else around me was living.

After diagnosis, I finally realized that my life was going to be different to everyone else's. For me, that's been a good realization, not a scary one, but that's probably more because I'm older and there's much less peer pressure for me nowadays than I felt when I was in my teens and 20s. After so many years of feeling like a misfit who was trying to blend in, I can more easily let my natural instincts and feelings out, rather than suppressing them and trying to feel what others feel.


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Mountain Goat
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26 May 2019, 7:32 am

AlanMooresBeard wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Is the type of work you do transferrable to other areas of the country? In my area for £100k you can get quite a nice 3 bedroom house with a garage and a reasonable sized garden. Yes, it may be in a small town or village about ten miles inland from the sea (The closer ones to the sea are slightly higher priced) but it would generally be in nice area surrounded by countryside.
Moving down here to hope to get a job is probably not a great plan, as jobs... Well. When a full time position that does not need specific rarely obtainable qualifications becomes available, typically there are about five thousand applicants per position if it is £10 per hour or more. However, if you work from home and are not confined to one area, then places like these parts are very practical.


My line of work can be done elsewhere in the country but most of the jobs in my particular field are in London. I'm also a lifelong Londoner and all my close family are here so I have a great support network in place. Relocating is not really an option in my case.


I am glad you like London. I don't think I could manage living there. It is far too intense. I need to live in relaxing areas and places. If it wasn't for getting cold and wet, I would live in a field!
Yes. Family and background prepares you for living in a crowded area.
If I couldn't easily get to the countryside I tend to panic. There is great safety in a rural area where in a town or city area I am on high alert. I guess it is a bit like those films of Mick Dundee where he goes to his home area and he has no worries despite having people out trying to kill him. In his countryside setting he has the upper edge. Now that is like me. Anyone intending me harm will be on a totally level playing field and if anything, I have the upper hand.


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26 May 2019, 9:47 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
<snip>
If I couldn't easily get to the countryside I tend to panic. There is great safety in a rural area where in a town or city area I am on high alert. I guess it is a bit like those films of Mick Dundee where he goes to his home area and he has no worries despite having people out trying to kill him. In his countryside setting he has the upper edge. Now that is like me. Anyone intending me harm will be on a totally level playing field and if anything, I have the upper hand.


Do you never sleep, or imagine two attackers?



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26 May 2019, 11:00 am

I always wanted my life to be different; even as a very young child, my mother describes me as being independent and stubborn. I have had a very different life indeed. I knew I was different from others, but did not realize it was ASD until reading, just about 18 months ago, about women's symptoms. Suddenly life made sense. Yes, I am different. My life is different. And I wouldn't want it any other way.


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26 May 2019, 11:49 am

Dear_one wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
<snip>
If I couldn't easily get to the countryside I tend to panic. There is great safety in a rural area where in a town or city area I am on high alert. I guess it is a bit like those films of Mick Dundee where he goes to his home area and he has no worries despite having people out trying to kill him. In his countryside setting he has the upper edge. Now that is like me. Anyone intending me harm will be on a totally level playing field and if anything, I have the upper hand.


Do you never sleep, or imagine two attackers?


In the countryside at night there are no streetlights so plenty of places to hide if needed. One can even hide right near people and they wouldn't notice! Sleep? Well. Much easier then in a town where there are many distractions at night.
Attackers. Well. I have dealt with having a knife held to my throat when I was on the railways. Also dealt with all sorts of things like that. It was all part of the parcel of the job. We didn't report most of what was happening when we were taken over by the last company I worked for as they were not so open to work with staff like the previous two companies I worked for were. The previous two companies (Actually the same people) had upper managers who went out of their way to connect with staff. The last company was the complete opposite and had more of a spy like attitude.


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Last edited by Mountain Goat on 26 May 2019, 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dear_one
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26 May 2019, 11:58 am

^^ Have you tried this in a variety of weathers? I had been thinking in terms of a permanent dwelling, but even a fire is hard to hide. I would feel safer off-grid if I had an occupied house between me and the road, so I'd probably hear a commotion in time.



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26 May 2019, 12:07 pm

Dear_one wrote:
^^ Have you tried this in a variety of weathers? I had been thinking in terms of a permanent dwelling, but even a fire is hard to hide. I would feel safer off-grid if I had an occupied house between me and the road, so I'd probably hear a commotion in time.

It is the cold winters which are the hardest. I live in the countryside in my Mums house, so if we go outside at night we are used to the dark etc and also we dress accordingly. People come up here and we have to put heating on for them when they visit as they don't wear proper clothing. It gets expensive to heat the house due to visitors.
So the cold and damp are the worst parts you will be battling with.
The summers... Outdoor in a tent I find the midges the problem. Gnats we call them here. I have not tried tenting outdoors in rhe winters. I have been out for the odd couple of hours nearly every night when I used to have a dog. I had a nice coat.

When I have been camping, which is rare, I don't use a fire as I am a littlw scared of things like that. Aleays have been. However in the winter living outdoors without heat would be a little deadly.


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26 May 2019, 2:08 pm

There are "Bivvy sacks" rated for the worst of your weather.



AlanMooresBeard
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26 May 2019, 3:19 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:

I am glad you like London. I don't think I could manage living there. It is far too intense. I need to live in relaxing areas and places. If it wasn't for getting cold and wet, I would live in a field!
Yes. Family and background prepares you for living in a crowded area.
If I couldn't easily get to the countryside I tend to panic. There is great safety in a rural area where in a town or city area I am on high alert. I guess it is a bit like those films of Mick Dundee where he goes to his home area and he has no worries despite having people out trying to kill him. In his countryside setting he has the upper edge. Now that is like me. Anyone intending me harm will be on a totally level playing field and if anything, I have the upper hand.


Yes, London is not for everyone. As I said in my previous post, I've lived here my whole life so I'm quite used to the pace of big city life. I do like to get outside the capital though to see other parts of the country. I was actually in Wales last week. I stayed near Mumbles just west of Swansea. Do you know it?



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26 May 2019, 3:32 pm

Dear_one wrote:
There are "Bivvy sacks" rated for the worst of your weather.


I slept a couple of nights in a bivy sack on my most recent canoe trip. Driving rain one night, but I was dry and toasty inside. :D


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26 May 2019, 5:04 pm

AlanMooresBeard wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:

I am glad you like London. I don't think I could manage living there. It is far too intense. I need to live in relaxing areas and places. If it wasn't for getting cold and wet, I would live in a field!
Yes. Family and background prepares you for living in a crowded area.
If I couldn't easily get to the countryside I tend to panic. There is great safety in a rural area where in a town or city area I am on high alert. I guess it is a bit like those films of Mick Dundee where he goes to his home area and he has no worries despite having people out trying to kill him. In his countryside setting he has the upper edge. Now that is like me. Anyone intending me harm will be on a totally level playing field and if anything, I have the upper hand.


Yes, London is not for everyone. As I said in my previous post, I've lived here my whole life so I'm quite used to the pace of big city life. I do like to get outside the capital though to see other parts of the country. I was actually in Wales last week. I stayed near Mumbles just west of Swansea. Do you know it?

Yes. I can see the Gower from our field, but from the other side. The Swansea/Mumbles area is a bit too crowded and city like for me, though the Gower is nice and I used to cycle there regularly.


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