What is autism? How the term became too broad to have meanin

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magz
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29 Aug 2019, 4:20 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

Do your needs involve any deep mysteries that need to be researched, or do they just need to be accommodated, by already-existing means, in ways that should be obvious to any reasonably intelligent person who was aware of your needs and cared?

Actually, before two years of psychotherapy with the right specialist, my needs were deep mysteries to everyone including myself... I only knew I was sufferring and something was wrong with me that I had to hide...
So I believe extensive research on masked forms of autism would be very welcome.

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Mona Pereth
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29 Aug 2019, 6:27 am

magz wrote:

Sounds to me like the main thing that's needed here is just better training for psychotherapists generally, so that masked forms of autism can be more easily recognized and screened for. Some research will be needed, but not the kind of super-expensive, molecular-oriented "cure"-oriented research that is now being lavished on autism in general (only to discover that there are just too damned many genetically different kinds of autism ...) with primarily mildly-disabled subjects, apparently.

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kraftiekortie
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29 Aug 2019, 6:38 am

Many psychologists think of autism in a pre-1994 sort of way. Not much concept of a “spectrum.”

“If you can talk, you can’t have autism.”

“If you initiate socially, you can’t have autism.”

I wouldn’t mind meeting Mona. She lives like 6-7 miles away from me. Queens is a big borough—bigger in area and population than most decent-sized cities.

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29 Aug 2019, 7:44 am

BDavro wrote:

skibum wrote:

I feel like I don't deserve or have the right to exist.

I think that is a shared aspect of autism, a common point across the spectrum.

I have no answers, just an understanding of how you feel because it is shared, and it hurts, always hurts like an open wound.

Sorry sister, I dull the pain by thinking it is somehow good to feel this way, this is the price we pay for feeling.

@BDavro, that is an interesting perspective. I need to think on that. My recent counselor immediately took that approach: It's good you are sensitive. We need sensitive people.

@skibum, I am reading through my college letters from 20 years ago. I was often really down on myself. As I may have written on this post, I wish I could reach back to myself and say: "I know it's hard, you are doing Great, you really are." I couldn't understand why some things (like learning and puzzles) were sooooo easy for me and other things (like boiling water and laundry) were sooooooo hard. I wasn't taught to accept these things about myself and celebrate them - it's been slow going learning this, but I am getting there. And when I take a deep breath and focus - I can boil the sh*t out of water!! !

magz
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29 Aug 2019, 7:55 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

magz wrote:

The twin studies give coherent results that the broader definition of autism (esp. including BAP) the higher genetic concordance. So, it appears, the common molecular cause of autism is not the cause of severe disabilities of some autistic individuals.

My hypothesis: autism is a set of traits that causes some other disabilities and issues to present differently, likely because it hinders social communication.

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skibum
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29 Aug 2019, 10:43 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

skibum wrote:

I feel like I don't deserve or have the right to exist.

I'm very sorry if any of my posts earlier in this thread contributed in any way to making you feel that way.

I feel that autism research should focus primarily on the needs of those who are unable to communicate. But the rest of us still need services, supports, and accommodations, many of which are fairly simple and straightforward, not requiring a whole lot of research.

(See also my posts at the bottom of the previous page of this thread.)

Thank you so much for your clarification Mona. I know that you really care and that you are probably in the same boat. And I totally 100% agree with your explanation. :heart:

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Wreck It Ralph

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29 Aug 2019, 10:45 am

BDavro wrote:

Mona Pereth wrote:

skibum wrote:

I feel like I don't deserve or have the right to exist.

KK lives in queens, do you guys know each other?

Cool about KK living in Queens, it is a nice place. I have family and friends there. I do not live in New York. I live further south. We do not know each other IRL but we have corresponded. KK is a good friend.

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Wreck It Ralph

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29 Aug 2019, 10:48 am

Oops, I just realized your question was addressed to Mona and not me but it's ok. KK is a good friend.

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29 Aug 2019, 10:49 am

magz wrote:

Mona Pereth wrote:

I agree

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29 Aug 2019, 10:51 am

Mona Pereth wrote:

magz wrote:

Yes, this is actually more needed but I also agree that research or recognition on the neurological damage that is caused over the years of trying to live in an nt society as an Autie is important. What that kind of research would entail, I do not know. But the kind of damage that I am suffering from now is very important for people to understand.

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29 Aug 2019, 10:54 am

SharonB wrote:

BDavro wrote:

skibum wrote:

I feel like I don't deserve or have the right to exist.

Hooray about boiling water! :lol:

Yes, as children and young adults we were conditioned to not understand, accept, or respect our own authenticity. This is where the problem lies. Now we have to struggle with learning how to do that as well as getting others to do it as well.

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magz
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29 Aug 2019, 12:22 pm

skibum wrote:

That's also my story.

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HighLlama
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29 Aug 2019, 5:11 pm

skibum wrote:

Amen.

firemonkey
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29 Aug 2019, 5:35 pm

skibum wrote:

Yes, as children and young adults we were conditioned to not understand, accept, or respect our own authenticity. well.

Can you @skibum, or anyone else , explain what is meant by that ? Are you saying you were forced to be as society demanded/expected you to be ?

Personally I'm not aware of doing that , though I won't dismiss the possibility it could have happened at a subconscious level .

magz
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30 Aug 2019, 9:08 am

firemonkey wrote:

skibum wrote:

Yes, as children and young adults we were conditioned to not understand, accept, or respect our own authenticity. well.

I needed two years of therapy with the right specialist to learn to recognize my feelings and needs instead of trying to guess "the right answer" and perform accordingly.

There were really strong pressures. My meltdowns in childhood were met with contempt and whenever I expressed suffering I was met with denial and sometimes a horrible, cold rage. I had no right to cry "for no reason" and my ability to self control was enough to repress all the "inappropriate" feelings.

Tough topic, I'm not yet ready to go into the details.

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firemonkey
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30 Aug 2019, 9:43 am

Even as a child I rarely interacted with others outside of my family and various relatives. My brother and sister were much closer to each other in terms of social interaction than I was to either of them . That left little room for 'guessing the right answer ' and performing accordingly .

I was much more prone to arguing the toss with my parents than my brother and sister were. I was also more prone to sulking .

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