Does this site depress you?

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Couldn't help it.
If autism is a psychological/psychiatric condition AND we are playing by NT rules of definition (remember, they're the ones who defined it as a disability in the first place), then according to their rules, it's only a disability if it interferes with your functioning.
Then, there's the matter of degree of interference.
Also, the matter of who defines functioning.

If we go by NT rules, then it is considered functional to manipulate, lie to and threaten those you love the most in order to get what you want (often defined as need). It's also considered functional to change the rules if you can grab that much power.
If we go by other rules, then the chaos of NT functioning looks very illogical and foolish, not to mention hugely energy and time consuming.
I had a debate with my therapist about lying to someone when you think some clothing item doesn't do anything for them. I submitted that if you told the person the truth and said, that doesn't look good, why don't you pick something else with the characteristics you like in that item, that the person would have a better relationship with me because they would know they could expect the truth. She agreed. BTW, this doesn't always work because some people don't want to hear the truth - they prefer to hear a lie which you convince them is true.

If NTs define functioning, I don't function well. If I define it, I do just fine. I prefer to define it, because I have lived by rules that say black people are cognitively impaired, and my IQ is genius level.

Seems to me the rules of WrongPlanet say NU (neurounique) is simply that - unique. Not better, just different.

This site is so not depressing

Excellently said, Neuroman. And I love your signature.

Hi neuroman. Two words. *pounces you*

I definitely understand what you are saying. The definition of 'disabled' I was using was people who are ashamed of who they are. Sorry for the misunderstanding.



I didn't say pride necessarily means superiority. Here is what I said:



People have to be careful of pride becoming superiority.

Yeah. I do agree that some variations on pride definitely turn into superiority, like "Autistic people are just better than NTs" kind of thing. My friend Joel commented on that phenomenon (which we've both seen across several segments of the autistic community, I know it's been regarded as about just one place but it's not) here:

http://www.autistics.org/library/autpride2005.html

And I guess I must have misunderstood on the disabled thing. I'm used to people (from other segments of the disability community) who just use it as a relatively neutral adjective, so I'm often surprised when I hear it's negative or something.

This was sort of the autistic superiority I was talking about. Manipulating, lying, and threatening people are NOT NT rules! NTs find those qualities disgusting too. There are also people with AS who manipulate, lie, and threaten people.

I agree!! ! Methinks AS is teh best thing that ever happened to me.

In fact I've just read a book by two NTs that thoroughly deplores manipulating, lying, threatening, being fake, etc. It's not like those qualities (or the dislike of said qualities) are restricted to one kind of neurology.

True. It is not simply black and white. That is why there are so many genres of music and so many types of people.

No, the site doesn't depress me. It gets all aspies together to talk.

"Drag the waters some more." Oh well. Nice song. But this site is great.

I did say that society considers these things functional. I didn't say everyone agreed with it.
You are right that lots of NTs don't like the rules. They are the people around whom I have been most comfortable. But those same people simply have less compliance with the rules, they don't abandon them altogether. 100% of NTs I asked (probably about 30-40) said they'd tell a "white lie" to avoid hurting someone's feelings. This is a poll I've been doing all my life.

I've yet to see someone with Aspergers engage in the type of social manipulation that so often mystifies me. It would have to be someone with symptoms so mild they couldn't be detected. But then I think you couldn't call them NUs.

Most theories in psychology say that if you have certain traits in certain patterns then you can have a diagnosis. Or a personality type. I think that people who can engage in social intrigue probably wouldn't have a full Aspergers pattern. NT conversation happens really fast and there isn't a lot of time to work out in my head how to respond. In order to hold my own I'd need to be able to respond fast, but also be able to read my emotional reaction as a part of the message of the conversation.
I am hypothesizing that anyone who could do that shouldn't have a diagnosis of Aspergers.

I have threatened people, though rarely. Usually it takes the form of threatening to call someone's supervisor. I have a harder time lying because I don't believe in it. And I can manipulate people so long as I have a lot of planning time. This is vastly different from what NTs do - they can do it on the fly, decide they want something and then bam - they're in the game.

This place is a haven for me, though with so many members and discussions its a little overwhelming and scary at times.

I have met autistic people who can manipulate other people pretty effectively. It's not that they're not autistic, it's that they've learned that particular skill. They do end up being people I don't much want to be around, though, because I hate being manipulated.

Excuse me if I seem to be concentrating on a part of your post that is too specific, but what do you mean when you say that you nearly got fired over facial expressions?

Everything I have read or heard about AS had tended to indicate that there is a lack of facial expression in many people with AS.

The reason I am asking this is because I often get 'pulled up' in the workplace for not wearing the 'correct' facial expression, too often my reactions actually show on my face and people around me seem to react defensively to it.

The one problem with the website: how can you play the chess?

This site doesn't make me depressed. Somehow, I almost always feel happier after being on this site than being on any other online site. People here are usually more friendly, but don't seem afraid to tell you if something you've done is bothering them.

I don't view AS as a disability. It's more a part of me, just like my green eyes or the fact that I love LotR, which are probably pathetic examples... I've often wondered what life would be like for an NT, but I have so many NT friends or acquaintances that I'd rather not be one myself.

Eh, all I can say is that the world needs diversity. How are we supposed to make a rainbow with only one colour of crayon? How are we supposed to learn to get along with others who are different than us if we're all the same? (rhetorical questions, by the way)