11 Feb 2021, 9:41 am
Rexi wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
Rexi wrote:
It's also usually what I hear from people in the spectrum what they believe, and my psychologist had stated that unsocializing me and not teaching me to communicate had made me skilless in life. That is due to the parenting.
I am of the opinion that had I been raised healthily I would have much more fitting in skills and less anxiety and social fear. Also what happened in class and the way I was taught to deal with things had set the way for my development and the way I coped with things. Passive.
It definitely didn't make me autistic but it made me worse and lesser fit in. I notice people in better families on the spectrum have less issues with bullying and not fitting in, feeling alone and trust issues towards the world.
It's worth more research like he said.
I laughed at 'pop psychology' because he is a musician.
Fnord has no idea how funny he can be when he's serious. But that can happen with anyone. Then again some spectrum people laugh at funerals.
How can one know if it's intended as sarcasm or a joke, in text? I guess this time it was not. Then his long reply I thought was a joke because it's so long and insistent.
Then again it's sometimes hard for me to tell with autistic people if they're joking or they took offense.
I am of the opinion that had I been raised healthily I would have much more fitting in skills and less anxiety and social fear. Also what happened in class and the way I was taught to deal with things had set the way for my development and the way I coped with things. Passive.
It definitely didn't make me autistic but it made me worse and lesser fit in. I notice people in better families on the spectrum have less issues with bullying and not fitting in, feeling alone and trust issues towards the world.
It's worth more research like he said.
I laughed at 'pop psychology' because he is a musician.
Fnord has no idea how funny he can be when he's serious. But that can happen with anyone. Then again some spectrum people laugh at funerals.
How can one know if it's intended as sarcasm or a joke, in text? I guess this time it was not. Then his long reply I thought was a joke because it's so long and insistent.
Then again it's sometimes hard for me to tell with autistic people if they're joking or they took offense.
... ... ...
Rexi, i have very strong maternal instincts, but no children of my own...I did raised one niece and one nephew as my own for one decade...And to date, they fill my heart with joy...Still, each time i read you, my heart bends towards you as if you came out of my womb...Oh how i wish you were my daughter
...I absolutely love your candor 
...Don't ever change ...By the way, my maternal instincts are also triggered by @Joe90 who i also have in a very high esteem for different reasons...Sending you both a prolonged virtual hug that lasts at least 20 seconds for the health of your physical and figurative HEART... 
Sheesh, right in the feels!
Picking favorites, are we now? [Heck yes, I'm totally lovable!]
The feeling is mutual, have felt protective of you sometimes because we share some things and experiences.
I have quite massive amounts of honesty in rl if you meet me, Im the one at the table that when someone asks mom to get me married I tell them to find me a good woman. I love how silence and horror overtakes their entertained faces. yes... Yes!
Im the one at the table combing my hair and fluffing it up with my fingers. Im the one with the odd posture or a huge dog lay on my lap.
By and way, did you know men secrete the exact hormones mothers do that give them the maternal instincts, except they need longer exposure to their\relative's child to reach the same level, in other words the process is a little slower than for women.
... .. ...
12 Feb 2021, 6:35 am
13 Feb 2021, 3:51 am
13 Feb 2021, 11:00 am
quaker wrote:
This guy was hard work. He laboured his points and generally I found him hard work to listen to.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
Your story of life for you is very insightful especially the trouble you took to source your birth parents .
Shows a pattern known about adoptive parents from many years now ,I believe from my own reading here and there. Adoptive parents can generally may be abusive . Expspecially if they have their own shortcomings ..
I feel for you and your experiences .
. God bless you for having to have survived through it all .
13 Feb 2021, 11:04 am
13 Feb 2021, 1:15 pm
quaker wrote:
This guy was hard work. He laboured his points and generally I found him hard work to listen to.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
... ... ...
Thank you for sharing your experience with such candor...This clueless NT really appreciates it...Your sad story, sadly, is not an isolated case among you on the spectrum...And as sad as it is, i don't petty you; I admire you
...Although you still struggle, you are a survivor who has overcome great adversity...And for this, i commend you...In fact, all of you on the spectrum who share similar stories are my modern-day heroes, and especially my beloved (Aspie) husband...Greetings from California
13 Feb 2021, 1:18 pm
Clueless2017 wrote:
quaker wrote:
This guy was hard work. He laboured his points and generally I found him hard work to listen to.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
... ... ...
Thank you for sharing your experience with such candor...This clueless NT really appreciates it...Your sad story, sadly, is not an isolated case among you on the spectrum...And as sad as it is, i don't petty you; I admire you
...Although you still struggle, you are a survivor who has overcome great adversity...And for this, i commend you...In fact, all of you on the spectrum who share similar stories are my modern-day heroes, and especially my beloved (Aspie) husband...Greetings from California Post Script: Hope you all see why Jakki on in my favorite's list...She radiates understanding, kindness, and compassion:wink: ...
Rexi
Veteran
Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
13 Feb 2021, 4:56 pm
Clueless2017 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
quaker wrote:
This guy was hard work. He laboured his points and generally I found him hard work to listen to.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
He made a good point though that the parents often blame the child for their inappropriate behavior and the affects this can have on a child.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My adopted parents mocked and humiliated me daily for my idiosyncratic, "odd" and unusual ways. By the time I was 15 I was suicidal and sent away to an institution and severely medicated. Whilst I was away, my adopted parents wrote to the mother and baby home where I spent my first few weeks of life, asking them if there was any history of mental instability in my biological parents. Can you imagine the irony? They wanted to blame my biological parents for their "bad" genes as a way of whitewashing their cruel mistreatment of me.
What's interesting here is that forty years later I traced my biological parents and discovered that although my birth mother wasn't autistic, two of her brothers were. Whilst my biological father was clearly in the spectrum.
As a young person I mastered the art of concealing my difference. All this was going on
unconsciously as I had no idea I was autistic. My entire life was thus spent making damn sure I would never again experience such abandonment, cruelty and neglect.
Yet with all my ingenuity and hard work I continued to suffer. For I had buried away my sorrows and concealed something so integral. My autism.
Over the years my story unraveled and with it the enormity of a grief associated with it.
My longing for connection and fear of abandonment drove me forward. I learned to make peace with myself, understand myself. But my relationship with the world baffled and perplexed me. All my skillful adaptations may have served me well in some regards, but they also hindered my ability in understanding my autism. My greatest triumph, my ability to bring forth my hidden suffering, proved to be the greatest hinderence and barrier to being seen and understood within the autism spectrum.
My story is not unique.
People with autism have suffered so much from being scaoegoated by their parents and society at large. Only to then be discredited and misunderstood by "specialists" in the feild of autism. We see this reflected in posts here frequently.
Thanks for posting this. It was interesting, it has made we see how far we've all come, but also, how far there is to go until we get the respect and understanding we so deserve.
... ... ...
Thank you for sharing your experience with such candor...This clueless NT really appreciates it...Your sad story, sadly, is not an isolated case among you on the spectrum...And as sad as it is, i don't petty you; I admire you
...Although you still struggle, you are a survivor who has overcome great adversity...And for this, i commend you...In fact, all of you on the spectrum who share similar stories are my modern-day heroes, and especially my beloved (Aspie) husband...Greetings from California Post Script: Hope you all see why Jakki on in my favorite's list...She radiates understanding, kindness, and compassion:wink: ...
She has a clear head for sensitive\difficult situations and cute jokes. She is probably the Haven Queen, although including God in wishes is not exactly my idea of Haven reply
_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner.
x Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.
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