Page 4 of 6 [ 81 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

mohsart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2020
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 741
Location: Southern Sweden

10 Mar 2021, 3:45 pm

Perhaps the Dunning Kreuger effect can be applied to being boring as well as being stupid?
Not that that in itself makes NTs more prone to it.
I actually believe that at least one aquintance who is extremely boring may be on the spectrum.
I do believe though that more NTs than people with ASD have their career as a primary interest, a fact that makes them seem more shallow minded.

/Mats


_________________
Interests: Comic books, Manga; most things to do with Handicraft, wood, textile, metal etc, modern materials; horror, true crime; languages, art, and history to an extent
Uninterests: All things about motors; celebrities; fashion; sports; career; stock market
Feel free to PM me!


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,420
Location: Right over your left shoulder

10 Mar 2021, 3:56 pm

mohsart wrote:
Perhaps the Dunning Kreuger effect can be applied to being boring as well as being stupid?
Not that that in itself makes NTs more prone to it.
I actually believe that at least one aquintance who is extremely boring may be on the spectrum.
I do believe though that more NTs than people with ASD have their career as a primary interest, a fact that makes them seem more shallow minded.

/Mats


It makes 'basic' people less likely to realize it. They need to both have the insight that's how they are and the perspective to believe it's something they should change. Why worry about who you are if you're normal?



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

10 Mar 2021, 4:59 pm

Am I boring because my interests consist of shopping, gossip and dramas? :lol: :lol: I like writing but the stories I like to write are all about social dramas. :lol:


_________________
Female


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

10 Mar 2021, 8:59 pm

Joe it depends.

1 Who is the gossip about? Because it can be hurtful (not boring) if it's someone who it can get back to. That's why I only say stuff about NTs on here and not other social media. Celebrity gossip is safe and reading books/watching TV and movies and gossiping about the characters is the safest gossip of all - these people don't really exist but talking about how they act can be a way to discuss how ourselves & those around us act & try to understand human nature.

2 How deeply do you analyse it? Are you a fast fashionista or a slow fashionista? Outside of clothing, does each piece you pick out have a special meaning to you? I went shopping alone with simply 'what do I want to wear' in mind and all of a sudden, clothes shopping was interesting and fun rather than a chore. Do you have favourite shops and reasons for those shops being your favourites?

3 Same with other interests. I want to know the why... I read something today & it said doesn't matter what the interest is, what's interesting is why the person is into it. I agree with that.

I'd say there's nothing boring but not thinking makes it so.

Although - we all have personal tastes. For me I can't imagine being at all entertained while sunbathing. I'd want to get up and do something. I keep wanting to go back and do sandcastles like a kid or learn to do sand sculpture, or if it was hot I'd go swimming or I'd pick up a book.
*
For me shopping is like healthy eating.

Someone tells me 'you should eat healthier' I tell them to sod off. Someone asks me 'would you rather your favourite piece of fruit or a mediocre biscuit', I go for the fruit.

Someone invites me out shopping, I say 'no that's not my kind of thing'. Someone invites me to a really interesting shop, book/art shop or market? I go (when it's not busy cos sensory overload). Or I tell them no then secretly go alone because I prefer shopping when I don't feel judged and can just play with the only limit being my budget/body size...
*
I think what hurts me most about gossip isn't that it's actually boring, it's either having to listen to something irrelevant to me about a stranger to me (my mum telling me about her colleagues when they haven't done anything actually remarkable tbh and she doesn't say how it makes her feel or use descriptions to separate one from the other...) or when it's judgement that will get back to the person. I was around that a lot in my early 20s and it's not nice, I think it contributed to my illness.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


Earthbound_Alien
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,179
Location: UK

10 Mar 2021, 9:29 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Am I boring because my interests consist of shopping, gossip and dramas? :lol: :lol: I like writing but the stories I like to write are all about social dramas. :lol:


I would just not be interested in your writing

As to whether you are boring to spend time with is another matter.

I have no idea without spending time with you.



Earthbound_Alien
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,179
Location: UK

10 Mar 2021, 9:35 pm

KT67 wrote:
Joe it depends.

1 Who is the gossip about? Because it can be hurtful (not boring) if it's someone who it can get back to. That's why I only say stuff about NTs on here and not other social media. Celebrity gossip is safe and reading books/watching TV and movies and gossiping about the characters is the safest gossip of all - these people don't really exist but talking about how they act can be a way to discuss how ourselves & those around us act & try to understand human nature.

2 How deeply do you analyse it? Are you a fast fashionista or a slow fashionista? Outside of clothing, does each piece you pick out have a special meaning to you? I went shopping alone with simply 'what do I want to wear' in mind and all of a sudden, clothes shopping was interesting and fun rather than a chore. Do you have favourite shops and reasons for those shops being your favourites?

3 Same with other interests. I want to know the why... I read something today & it said doesn't matter what the interest is, what's interesting is why the person is into it. I agree with that.

I'd say there's nothing boring but not thinking makes it so.

Although - we all have personal tastes. For me I can't imagine being at all entertained while sunbathing. I'd want to get up and do something. I keep wanting to go back and do sandcastles like a kid or learn to do sand sculpture, or if it was hot I'd go swimming or I'd pick up a book.
*
For me shopping is like healthy eating.

Someone tells me 'you should eat healthier' I tell them to sod off. Someone asks me 'would you rather your favourite piece of fruit or a mediocre biscuit', I go for the fruit.

Someone invites me out shopping, I say 'no that's not my kind of thing'. Someone invites me to a really interesting shop, book/art shop or market? I go (when it's not busy cos sensory overload). Or I tell them no then secretly go alone because I prefer shopping when I don't feel judged and can just play with the only limit being my budget/body size...
*
I think what hurts me most about gossip isn't that it's actually boring, it's either having to listen to something irrelevant to me about a stranger to me (my mum telling me about her colleagues when they haven't done anything actually remarkable tbh and she doesn't say how it makes her feel or use descriptions to separate one from the other...) or when it's judgement that will get back to the person. I was around that a lot in my early 20s and it's not nice, I think it contributed to my illness.


I just wanted to quote this because it is insightful.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

11 Mar 2021, 5:01 am

Quote:
1 Who is the gossip about? Because it can be hurtful (not boring) if it's someone who it can get back to. That's why I only say stuff about NTs on here and not other social media. Celebrity gossip is safe and reading books/watching TV and movies and gossiping about the characters is the safest gossip of all - these people don't really exist but talking about how they act can be a way to discuss how ourselves & those around us act & try to understand human nature.


I'm not interested in celebrities really, although I like gossip about the royals. I don't spread gossip about people I know but if someone has something to say to me about someone I am interested. Not all gossip is bad, and I choose wisely who I tell, if I do decide to tell someone. But usually it's them telling me. I just like being involved or included in the goings on of my social environment, like most NTs.

Quote:
2 How deeply do you analyse it? Are you a fast fashionista or a slow fashionista? Outside of clothing, does each piece you pick out have a special meaning to you? I went shopping alone with simply 'what do I want to wear' in mind and all of a sudden, clothes shopping was interesting and fun rather than a chore. Do you have favourite shops and reasons for those shops being your favourites?


I don't analyse it that deep, it's just something I like to do but it's slowly being taken away from me thanks to Amazon and the global pandemic but I don't do online shopping as I fear it may become an expensive addiction. When shopping out it's easier to limit how much I buy. But I also like to browse. I'm not an extreme fashion enthusiast but I do like to look trendy enough to blend in and I have enough knowledge of fashion to be able to choose the right sort of clothes. I also like shopping for things for the home too.

I don't have any special interests. Just casual interests.


_________________
Female


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

11 Mar 2021, 5:26 am

See I think if a hobby was interesting enough even if someone was NT, they would make it into a specialist interest. Might not call it that cos it's aspie language but they would fall in love with it. I guess with shopping that is difficult, but window shopping and planning out shops exists.

My mum's NT and her craft work is everything to her. She has many hobbies which are part of that but she's often creating something and she puts more into her projects than I do: my art is a thing I do for a few hours, her craft projects are things that she spends months on. She will only make something she cares about which is why although she does pottery she rarely makes pots, she finds them boring compared to the animals she makes.

The being taken away thing is interesting - that makes me care.

I love indie shops. Sweet shops, shops that make traditional toys and book shops. There's a book shop that is in my home town run by an old guy who hasn't put it up online and I'm scared that it won't survive covid. It's second hand and you can pick up decent books for 25p. But if I had come across it as an adult? Not sure I'd like it cos it takes money/books away from the local charity shops. Thing is I fell in love with it as a kid and that desire to go there has never left me and all the local charity shops sell rubbish books so...


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

11 Mar 2021, 5:33 am

I have ADHD so I find focusing on things difficult.

I like shopping with a friend or relatives, which is another reason why I'm disappointed in the pandemic and the internet ruining everything. Shopping is something most of my friends like and is fun to do when hanging out, even just browsing. It's also fresh air, exercise and social. Very good for one's mental health. I don't support online shopping so I don't do it.


_________________
Female


Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

13 Mar 2021, 7:13 pm

maybe the op is trying to say that normal is boring


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


quite an extreme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2018
Age: 324
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,922
Location: Germany

14 Mar 2021, 5:44 am

Caz72 wrote:
maybe the op is trying to say that normal is boring

I think it's not really this. It's rather a lack of interests outside of their daily life and some special interest like sports, hobbies aso. Not even few people are chewing you the ears off with that. Talking a bit about this is OK but making that a science becomes quite fast boring for the ones who don't care about that. May be that people don't even realize that they become boring just because they are interested in that stuff themself as much.


_________________
I am as I am. :skull: :sunny: :wink: :sunny: :skull: Life has to be an adventure!


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

15 Mar 2021, 5:12 am

quite an extreme wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
maybe the op is trying to say that normal is boring

I think it's not really this. It's rather a lack of interests outside of their daily life and some special interest like sports, hobbies aso. Not even few people are chewing you the ears off with that. Talking a bit about this is OK but making that a science becomes quite fast boring for the ones who don't care about that. May be that people don't even realize that they become boring just because they are interested in that stuff themself as much.


This.

Obviously I care about football or I would have another username.

But if Sevco are winning for a season I do not see what role a Celtic fan on Twitter serves moaning about it.

And that seems like the only actual, full-on interest these people have.

Ironically if it was about anything else they would come across as aspie.

For eg if it was heavily snowing for a whole year and an aspie with a specialist interest in riding trains kept talking about how they wanted to ride a train and that was all they were talking about and wouldn't shut up over it? 1 They're not changing the weather (so this is a bad eg) 2 the railway staff are either working best they can or don't give a crap and 3 It's really bloody boring and negative - talk about something that can be changed.

Only other thing they're talking about is alcohol which 1 is bad for you so I have little sympathy in a world where people can't meet their family, my own youngish family were shielding so I wasn't allowed out at ALL and 2 fits that 'nature is affecting this so stop whinging' thing.

Honestly if they were theatre buffs I'd still think it's bloody stupid to pretend like this virus is only affecting you, a person who is able to go out and about to shops and things and doesn't have high risk family members. And I like the theatre. I miss CP, I miss my own pub/CSC (soft drinks and junk food and football), I miss my museum, I miss doing offline courses, I miss the cinema and theatre. I even miss visiting my auntie and cousins. But I don't moan and moan to Twitter about that because I know I am very lucky to have all my family members still here.

And I'm aware that someone reading 'I miss going to the cinema this lockdown is bloody stupid' might have just come back from the funeral of a loved one who died of Covid. We all have to make sacrifices, some of us don't spend the year whinging about losing trivial stuff, esp trivial and unhealthy stuff.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

15 Mar 2021, 5:17 am

Joe90 wrote:
I don't support online shopping so I don't do it.


OK but when I go to one of my local shops online I am keeping the business afloat so that it will survive after Covid and I can go there offline when it opens.

It's not ideal, there's not the rich sensory experience or seeing the nice shop keepers who I've built up an experience chatting with or going to my favourite soap shop with my mum.

But it still keeps that business afloat so I can do that when things get back to normal.

I 100% understand and agree when it comes to Amazon. I wish I could stop giving money to Jeff Bezos but I find it simple and just as moral as giving it to Sports Direct which would honestly be part of my offline shopping tour. I guess I'm just less moral than the people who avoid those shops.


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

15 Mar 2021, 5:31 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Are they boring enough to spend every day of their life on a support site complaining about everyone who isn't like them?


Now you got me thinking....I need to take a long hard look in the mirror



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

15 Mar 2021, 5:34 am

Joe90 wrote:
I have ADHD so I find focusing on things difficult.


I think ADHD can be a strength if you direct your energies across many things



carlos55
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,956

15 Mar 2021, 8:13 am

As always there’s multiple things going on depending on the job people do, how they spend their time and where they live.

I should imagine being a detective is an interesting job which gives the person many experiences to talk about.

Age is a big factor, younger people live more dynamic lives meeting new people, traveling the world and having new experiences worth talking about.

Of course looking at young people who go out with friends and get drunk can seem negative on the surface, but they have new experiences, meet new people and escape the routine of life in the process. So in small doses it may not be such a negative thing if done safely.

The area where people live is a factor too. Some people live in a low economic area like Detroit for example, where most people live hand to mouth, unemployed with no future or anything to talk about except welfare payment day, who’s sleeping with who’s boyfriend and the best ways of getting out of your head.

Depression takes over and people try to escape via drink and drugs.

Smart NTs traditionally escape such areas via Uni scholarship, immigration, getting on a bus to move to the next town, joining the military or for many non western women going online to meet a successful partner abroad.


_________________
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man."

- George Bernie Shaw