The line between neurotypical and autistic and severity

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Not quite sure I understand your reluctance to be "the guy who gets an arbitrary diagnosis because I "think" I "might" be autistic." You're clearly sincere and you seriously suspect you have AS. I suspect the chances are they won't say you have it if you don't - ASD tends to be underdiagnosed. The worst thing that could happen is that they might incorrectly diagnose you. I can't think of much harm that would do. It's entirely up to you whether you believe them, either when you first get diagnosed or later on after you've found out more. In the UK at least you don't need to tell the driving licence people if you're happy that it isn't impacting on your ability to drive safely, and you don't have to tell a prospective employer - I was surprised but apparently you can tell them after they've given you the job and they can't harm you for it. If your DX is done privately, then it remains up to you whether you tell your NHS doctor and have it put on your medical records. So it's hard to know how anybody could find out if you didn't want them to know. But I don't know how it is in other countries, and I might have overlooked something about the UK. My doctor did warn me that once it was on my medical record there was no turning back, but like I say it hasn't been a problem.

BAP is also a thing

I don't have much to contribute, but wanted to say I'm really enjoying this conversation.

<Long rabbit trail that's just me talking about myself in case it sparks any further insights either for those reading or for myself through responses>: If this forum were "all or none" then I wouldn't have a place here. I'm probably not diagnosable as autistic, but I tend to be drawn to autistics in real life (and those with ADHD, too). I might just consider myself "neurodiverse" without fitting any particular diagnosis, because what I seem to relate to the most are secondary characteristics that people with ADHD or ASD describe, and not so much the core traits that lead to a DSM diagnosis of either. People told me I was very gifted as a young child and for as long as I was in school. (Funny how that disappeared right after I graduated college.) I was hyperlexic from age 2, and I'm pretty sure I've had lifelong auditory processing disorder (my husbands says YES I most definitely have APD, haha). I didn't behave well in a school, so my parents homeschooled me until college. While homeschooled, my parents struggled to motivate me to do any assigned work, but my own interests overlapped enough with what I needed for credits that I was able to do my own thing much of the time. I remember my mom taking me to the doctor as a teen because she was concerned about how lethargic I was, but nothing came of it. I made it through four years of college/university, but the stress was tough even though the academics were mostly easy (I developed symptoms of depression, anxiety, OCD, and struggled to eat... all of which is gone now). In college, I struggled greatly with procrastinating and would do my assignments under pressure at the last possible minute. The few part-time jobs I've had since then were very stressful and I was glad to be done with them. Thankfully, I don't have to work for pay since my husband (also considered "gifted" and with some ASD traits) earns enough, so I do stay-at-home-mom stuff and homeschool our kids. It's a fear of mine that I wouldn't be able to cope with a full-time job if I had to support myself. I wonder if I'd show more clear ASD traits from the stress if I had to work, or if I'd have traits to recall from my childhood if I'd had to stay in school. When I was married, the best man gave a speech about how my husband and I were the weirdest people he knew and therefore perfect for each other. I coined the term "hyperfocus" for something my brain does before finding out that's a word others use. I first noticed stim-like things I was doing during my college years. I have a soothing motion with a pen in my hand that I do because of anxiety in certain social settings, and there's a pattern I tap with my fingers while driving where my fingers are matching the lines that pass on either side. When I joined Wrong Planet and was very active last year, it was like my special interest for the time; I was obsessed and spent tons of time here until my brain decided to drop it for something new, which is what it does. Since then, I've done periodic check-ins, but I can't force myself to stick with that level of interest. I can be very social and greatly enjoy when I am, but I have to have the energy for it and feel very safe with the people to not shut down from nervousness. If I do wind up too anxious to be social when with others, I'm sad about it afterwards because I do love to connect with people. Sometimes people think that I am mad at them and I'm not sure why or how to fix it. Very weird fact that I can't find information about: I am way more functional when I am pregnant; I have better social skills, better emotional regulation, feel more warmth/affection for others, can handle stress better, etc. I've heard some people with ADHD say they are also more functional when pregnant and others say pregnancy made their symptoms worse; I've not heard from autistics on the topic. <end rabbit trail>

I've heard that giftedness is its own category of neurodiverse, so maybe that's me. My hunch is that there's something going on at the brain level that connects all three -- ASD, ADHD, and gifted -- with overlap so that people can fit any two or all three categories. It would be cool if someday a brain scan could just explain all of this neatly, though that's improbable given how complex people are.

There are certain divisions I observed;

The real line between autism severity, I think, isn't the severity of autism itself or as a whole per se.

But more like how many traits, including comorbidities, including the undiagnosable, dismissed or unnamed, even circumstances that are "severe", diagnosable or relatable.

Which of those individual traits and behaviors can be an advantage, can afforded or be acceptable, can be managed or treated, cannot be avoided and cope with, can wreck havoc and become a danger.


It doesn't matter if one has a hundred matching relatable traits -- if they're all advantages and can be afforded -- acceptable, endearing, unique, etc...

Yet anyone can only have that one notable yet undiagnosable, severe yet unmanageable trait, and gave them a lot of trouble in life and living.



Diagnosis is only good if it serves the individual.
The same can be said with identification and resonance.


If an NT declares themselves as self diagnosed -- BAP, perhaps -- why?

Did they do this out of loneliness? Out of shame? Out of genuine relatability towards autistics?
Out of confusion? Or some petty bandwagon to make themselves feel special? Or something sinister?

And which trait do they connect themselves with this? One? Tens? Hundreds?

Does it matter in support that it needs accomodations? Solutions from NDs?
Does it matter with the people around them? Or does it matter to them emotionally?



I simply see that labels, official or otherwise is a theory drawn by science.
Unofficially, a widely accepted hearsay backed by evidence and how humans wanted to categorize stuff.



Yet in the end...
Does all the autism trait makes someone autistic or have autism? Or just relatable and similar to autistics?

I'm waiting for science to discover further evidence -- likely evidence beyond of traits and behaviors that professionals currently relies on diagnosing individuals with.

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Seems part of the drive is to neatly categorize in order to make sense of the world.
But categories are artificial. They're like lines of latitude and longitude, which are useful for navigation, but don't actually exist on the surface of the earth.

There are many distinct advantages to "owning" this kind of brain, actually. But we may doubt ourselves because we dislike "playing in their reindeer games" - as if natural competency there is critical to a fulfilling life. (It is not.)

Seems it is somewhat like a dimmer switch: a little, more, much.
Even so, the task it seems is to craft a fulfilling life with the (often very fine) brain one has, seeing and avoiding toxins along the way as is possible.

Unfortunately it’s the failure of science to correctly explain what causes and drives these different brain conditions.

As I mentioned earlier the brain can have many different faults but only a limited means of expressing those. So it’s likely there are many autism’s but symptoms are funneled into a narrow output of how they are expressed.

The new DSM was a surrender to this, it was acknowledging its all too complicated so why not just lump it all together and call it a spectrum until more is known.

One day we will know but until then you’ll have people filling the vacuum with their own beliefs about what autism is and demanding everyone follow them or else.

Some will be worth listening to others will be just deluded

A bit like religion really.