"Outgrowing" Asperger's Syndrome?

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As I've been reading this, the general concensus seems to be that you can't "outgrow" it. But, I don't completely agree. While it is a valid point that some remnants of the disability still exist after time passes and that we adapt to better cope with it. But that is true with any neurological or psychological trait a person has. For instance, as a child, normal or aspie, has there own simple pleasure or odd tendency that they subconsciously do. In almost all cases even when the person reaches maturity they still (when alone ofcourse) occasionally, rather through nostalgic or uncontrollable circumstances, indulge in that old trait. I still believe that that person has "outgrown" adolescence, but that trait is just a part of who they are because humans are creatures of habit. I myself am an Aspie and as I child I had the typical aversions to eye and physical contact, had the inwardly rebellious and depressed nature, and the prospect of letting other people into my little bubble of comfort and self reliance I had created seemed unnecissary and, in all honesty, scary. But during my freshman year of highschool I met a girl, and leave it to a women to change a man, and during this time I opened up to someone and made a genuine connection to another person. But something happened that made it end quite abruptly and I ended up reverting to an even deeper shell. But then I decided that I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life so closed off because during my relationship I realized that life requires the support and connections. So over the past 5 years I've noticed a conciderable improvement, all though it still have the eye contact aversion, but my job in fast food requires it so that's helping and I still have those weird OCD things that bug me that even I don't understand but I've become very social and outgoing. In some ways I've used some of the negative traits of being an aspie and used them to reinforce possitive ones. Like the fact that even though I was very self concious I always had the feeling that if they don't like who I am they don't deserve my friendship, and I used to use that as an excuse to hold back from interaction but now I use it to "weed out the haters" so to speak. What most aspies don't understand is that we have a very witty and refreshing sense of humor because we by nature see the world differently, and people appreciate our ability to show different perspectives. So in essence, I believe that we have the ability to outgrow it eventually, and the remnants are just a part of who we are because of natural blocks, not our disability.

My cousin had a lot of Aspie traits when he was a child, enough to definately meet the AS criteria without missing it. He didn't mix properly at school, he got angry when routine changed, his special interest was electricity ever since he was 2 or 3, he got anxious about things but didn't tell anybody, he used to have crying fits but wouldn't tell anybody what was wrong, and there's a lot more. His mum even got through to child support services and had a social worker come to visit his home to have a chat and see if they could assess him, and even she said that it was possible AS. It was nothing to do with his upbringing because his sister was OK, and his mum and dad were lovely parents (they were my own aunt and uncle, and I know my own aunt and uncle). I was diagnosed at 8, so I knew a bit about it too, and so did my mum.

But I reckon he's outgrew it, because he's 21 now, (the same age as me), and he spends a lot of time with other boys of his age; going to parties, and he went upto London with 3 or 4 friends for his 21st birthday, and he's got lots of pictures of himself at bars with his mates. He doesn't sound like an Aspie there, because if he has AS and can do that, why can't I? So he must have ''outgrown'' his disorder. Perhaps he only showed traits as a child, then grew out of them. Wish I was like that.

You don't outgrow autism or Asperger's, you just learn how to cope.

I don't think that you can "outgrow" AS, but I think you can learn to live with them. A major example for me is correcting people and needing to be right. When I was younger, I used to correct everyone whenever they made a mistake in front of me. Now, I realize it's usually not kosher to do that and while I still feel the need, I suppress it.

I am not sure if a person can completely outgrow Aspergers but I have seen the symptoms get less and less with my 14 year old son. He was diagnosed in Elementary School and had all of the indicators associated with Aspergers. He was very High Functioning but did not read social cues (even had a hard time recognizing when someone was getting annoyed or angry with him), had a very hard time making friends and was really quite quirky. He spent a lot of time alone even while we were camping with friends or having family get togethers. Since he has hit 12 or so his attitude has changed, he has many friends and most of the quirky little behaviors have disappeared. As a matter of fact the Guidance Counselors are not even sure he needs their assistance for anything involving his Aspergers anymore. His behaviors are now like any other teenage boy. Maybe it was that he was diagnosed so early on and received assistance early that he is able to overcome the Aspergers challenges. My wife and I never let his Aspergers diagnosis be an excuse for anything and tried to expose him to everything we could to get him used to what the real world is like. I am so amazed at his turn around that I came to the site to find out if someone can "outgrow" Aspergers. From the responses I have seen it appears as though an person with Aspergers learns to retrain their brain slightly.

I have heard Tony Attwood refer to "residual aspergers" - where someone begins with a diagnosis of Aspergers and as time passes, they no longer meet all the criteria for a dx, this happened to my friends nephew.

Speaking of physiological side of Aspergers, i.e. certain differences in the way your brain is made up, it seems that there isn't enough medical background to tell you much; as far as the science is concerned at the moment, it's supposedly a lifetime condition. Speaking of outgrowing the behavioral patterns typical of Aspies, I'm quite optimistic about that one. Determination, strong will, and hard work always gets rewarded in one way or another. If you set for yourself a goal to act and think like a neurotypical, you should strive for achieving that goal. Just think of what a blessing it is to enjoy a normal personality that you have built with your hard work (rather than got it as a free genetic handout). Don't get me wrong; I do believe in God and include Him into the equation, so don't accuse me of relying on hard work exclusively. But still, if you utilize your power to successfully change your destiny, it might very well be a much greater blessing than neurotypical people have by not having Aspergers to begin with. But this all can only work if you want to make it work. I don't think that being "Aspie & proud" can do any good to you (or anybody).

Interesting thread. I tend to think of Asperger's as making certain things (ie. social skills) less "natural" and more difficult (but not impossible) to learn. So I've probably always been a bit behind the curve, but it's far less noticeable now than it was in HS, or even in college. I also had kind of a "spurt" of emotional maturation in college, and I was almost like a different person each year. I think being in an uncomfortable situation kind of pushes me to adapt, or "normalize" if you will. I think also that in this process, I've lost a bit of what made me unique (I'm not nearly as good at chess as I used to be, for instance,) but I've developed a lot more interpersonal skills and whatnot... So, long story short, I guess we change, we grow, we cope, and we learn to adapt, just like everyone else.

I learned bester communication skills not by outgrowing anything to become anything else, but by thinking of words as blocks and stacking blocks into structures and patterns, what I did as my autistic repetitive activity all day eberryday when I was three. I learned to write to communicate my thoughts as an adult only since 2010, and I write in a way that fits and works for me and my cognition, which is as autistic as evar and possibly getting more autistic eberryday as I work to develop it and have it work bester for me.

For me, (I'm 46), I don't think I have 'outgrown' it, I've just learned to 'adapt' to it.

I don't seem to outgrowing it.

I would like to call it as alternations rather than outgrowing. On my case since I have to cope up with a lot of people, even talk publicly. Instead of looking in the eyes, I blur myself so I wouldn't really essentially put it to myself that I am facing a couple of people. When I see people talking and I really want to barge in and I don't know how to fit in, I simply make a loud first word to catch their attention. If my anxiousness is holding me back, out of mannerism can trade that back. It's really just outplaying your condition.