Autism and empathy

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Totally. I have so much empathy I want to ensure my friend can avoid the unpleasant situation in the future so I share my insight (not "agreeable") and that does not seem empathetic, or is that sympathetic? LOL

You have a real talent for reading people that I wish I had.

I never have a clue whether I offend people or not. I generally immediately forget what I've said to people too, so if they're acting funny with me I never know why or even remember the conversation. Often if it's a person I don't know very well, I can't remember who they are when I meet them again anyway.

So I just go round in a fog of confusion.

If only people would say, 'I felt offended/hurt/whatever when you said XYZ, what did you mean?' Then I could explain or apologise.

But they never do, they just disappear and leave me wondering what happened.

Yes, many people don't appreciate our insight, they see it as interfering/bossy/cold-hearted. I'm learning that.

I have so much empathy it can be paralyzing.
If someone has an issue it's like I'm experiencing that issue myself and I shut down.
So I appear cold and uncaring although I'm anything but.
Ironic, isn't it?

I can't watch the news for this reason. It's awful. I've been haunted by things I've seen on the news for weeks afterwards. It's like it happened to myself or family, not complete strangers. I don't seem to be capable of detachment.

I'm the same way. ^
I think that's why I get so overloaded and stay in shut down or burnout.
If one of my kids has a problem I feel it worse than my own problems.
I'll keep worrying long after they've fixed it.
I even pick up the energy from strangers.
I can't always name the feelings, but I certainly feel them.

I don't care if a person is NT or ND.
I don't think that way because I have no idea of other people's neurostatus.
Everyone matters equally.

^ ^Me too.

There was a news story years back about parents who killed their children and burned their little bodies in a barrel.
It put me in the mental ward.
I couldn't handle it.

Wow!

I almost ended up in one for a similar reason.

Nowadays, I go out of my way to avoid it even if it makes me seem weird or rude. I've had to tell my parents not to talk to me about it, either, which is hard on them because they want to tell me how bad things are more than anything else.

Do you compartmentalize a lot?
That's how I've learned to deal with emotional sensitivity since I was young.

I'm not sure what that means.

I end up shutting off my emotional output and seeming stoic or expressionless so I won't be a basket case around people. For years I thought I was trying to avoid feeling the feelings but I realised that doesn't work. I feel them anyway. The reason I shut off the output is for everyone else's sake, because if I didn't I'd just be sobbing all the time about their problems, or feeling sorry for them instead of being a source of strength. I can go batshite crazy when someone I love is wronged or mistreated, so I'd also be at risk of committing murder like you Raleigh with the horrible person you referenced. Some people sit on their hands to avoid acting out. I have to sit on my heart.

Where you 'put stuff in boxes' so to speak, like overwhelming or negative experiences just get placed in their own little box to be dealt with later, or never.

I don't have boxes.
All my feelings dump together like a melting pot.
Imagine mixing paint colours and it just comes out brown.
The brown is actually a mudslide though, and it overwhelms me.

I can put stuff that happens to myself in boxes and not deal with it for decades but I can't do that with other people's stuff.

Mine is other people's stuff too. I assumed that goes without saying. ^

My own stuff feels more like general anaesthesia than a mudslide.

I don't think of it being in a separate box because I can't separate it from the mud, but I guess they're two different sensations. The mud is moving and consumes me. The anaesthesia is just in the background being static.

I'm exactly the same as you two. I can't detach from news stories or even fiction stories. I never watch horror or crime shows/films because they are too frightening and I imagine it's happening to me and my family. Same with the news.

I suppose I appear cold and uncaring too whereas within my mind and body it's a whirlwind of feelings hurtling around.