30 May 2023, 12:03 pm
Autussy wrote:
Hey so last night I went clubbing and HATED it 
The music was awful and super loud. I really tried to have fun and dance but couldn’t handle the sensory aspect or the social pressure. I find dancing in front of people SO uncomfortable. I love music and I dance around like an idiot when I’m alone sometimes but I’m terrible at it. I just look so awkward and uncoordinated so when I go out I end up just swaying a little not really dancing.
Last night one of my friends started grabbing my arms and making me dance. People do this to me all the time it just makes me feel pathetic. My other friends even started pulling her away from me. I appreciated it but the fact that I needed saving just made me feel worse.
We saw a live band before the DJ came out which was much more bearable. It was still a sensory nightmare but I felt okay just standing and swaying.
Despite all of this I still feel pressured to go out in order to fit in. I try my best but always end up sticking out in social situations and feeling like I can’t connect with people. Even my “friends” feel more like friends of friends despite us all being in the same group of seven since high school. I’m only close with a few people.
Anyone else relate? What are your thoughts on clubbing in general?
The music was awful and super loud. I really tried to have fun and dance but couldn’t handle the sensory aspect or the social pressure. I find dancing in front of people SO uncomfortable. I love music and I dance around like an idiot when I’m alone sometimes but I’m terrible at it. I just look so awkward and uncoordinated so when I go out I end up just swaying a little not really dancing.
Last night one of my friends started grabbing my arms and making me dance. People do this to me all the time it just makes me feel pathetic. My other friends even started pulling her away from me. I appreciated it but the fact that I needed saving just made me feel worse.
We saw a live band before the DJ came out which was much more bearable. It was still a sensory nightmare but I felt okay just standing and swaying.
Despite all of this I still feel pressured to go out in order to fit in. I try my best but always end up sticking out in social situations and feeling like I can’t connect with people. Even my “friends” feel more like friends of friends despite us all being in the same group of seven since high school. I’m only close with a few people.
Anyone else relate? What are your thoughts on clubbing in general?
I think there are probably lots of people out there (whether on the spectrum or neurotypical) who relate. Perhaps even some of those people you see in nightclubs now don't actually like it deep down, and will give it up in a few years.
I personally hate clubbing. When I was at university, there were some people (I wouldn't call them friends) who let me tag along with them to clubs, and I always had a rotten time. Then when I finished university and came back home, I found that the few old schoolfriends I had also wanted to spend their weekends clubbing. I remember them telling me that this was something 'everyone' did, and I sometimes felt I'd never get anywhere socially if I couldn't learn to enjoy it.
That all seems ridiculous to me when I look back on it now. That's not because I'm some sort of social butterfly now or anything. It's more because almost everyone I know stopped bothering with nightclubs beyond the age of 25, and I'm not just talking about people who started families. There are just so many other ways to enjoy your free time and to meet people these days. Even people I know who like getting inebriated and listening to loud music would generally rather just go to the pub, or go to a gig or a festival (where the focus is more on the musical performance itself than people showing off on a dancefloor). Most people I know would even rather spend their free time doing the sorts of things they used to do when they were 13 or so (like tenpin bowling or going to the cinema) than carry on clubbing like they did around the ages of 18 to 21. I sometimes wonder if some 18-21 year olds think that they are somehow not making the most of their free time if they don't stay awake until 4am every Friday and Saturday night.
theboogieman
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 3 Jun 2023
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 64
Location: Louisiana
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