Did you know that Aspies don't get married?

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Right-I didn't "date" or go out with boys (like my peers did) when I was a teenager, for variety of causes. I had similar relationships, just later than other people or was expected of me.
Did get married (at age 26) to boyfriend, we were together 4+ yrs. already, then 4+ yrs. married. We got divorced (as do plenty of non-dx'd people) a few years ago, then I got ASD dx, and now I have nifty new (long-term) boyfriend (been together 2 and a half years).
Marriage means I lose SSI & welfare benefits (which I need since I can't work), so that's major reason why we haven't-it's the financial rules, not inherently because of my "condition" !
So I think assumptions made by original poster's shrink-that those of us with this personality/temperament/neurological style don't marry-are simplistic & incorrect.

I have that one too, but I didn't finish it because I didn't really like it. I think it's probably good for young and teenage girls and their parents. Just my opinion though.

You're very welcome

I wrote myself a note to let you know what I think of the book when I read it. I'll use it as a bookmark so I'll be sure not to forget.

awww you're so sweet! thank you! : )

That's an excellent example, thank you.

I had a boyfriend as a teenager that I stayed with for 2 and half years. He was the first guy who ever showed any interest in me, and if he hadn't I doubt that I would have dated. That's pretty much how all 4 of my relationships have been.

I totally see your point about not being married for financial reasons and it not being because of your "condition". I see marriage as being a legal formality because my husband and I were already very strongly committed to each other long before we got married. I mostly just wanted to get rid of my maiden name, haha.

I didn't really start developing relationships late, I just didn't do it very well. Ever. I think I remember wanting friends as a little kid, I just wasn't good at making them. I definitely had crushes at a normal age, but boys avoided me like the plague until high school. I think a lot of us, probably most of us, do seek out relationships, but we're not necessarily very good at finding them. I don't really strive to make new friends or anything now, but I guess that's because I just got used to not having them. Anyway, I am getting married when my fiance gets out of the Navy, yet I fit the Aspie profile about 150% otherwise.
We can love just like anyone else, if we want to. Some of us don't want to, and some of us seem to always have to deal with unrequited love. We are unique and varied, just like NTs; quite a few of them never get married or have friends either.

So....aspies don't marry? Won't my husband be curious to hear that?
As for the high IQ, that actually assisted my getting a diagnosis. MOST aspies have an IQ above 140. Ask her about Einstein. He was aspie...and he married. Ask her about Bill Gates. He's not really forward about it, but he is a diagnosed aspie and married AND his IQ is 160. Those two alone should make her feel rather foolish. Such ignorance, even amongst those who should know better!

Annabel Lee

Excellent suggestions, thanks!

Very good point.

My parents were both quite autistic, and yes, they got married. Unlike Mortimer of Arsenic and Old Lace, I can't claim, "I'm a bastard not a Brewster."

Lots of people don't get married for whatever reason, or are single after getting divorced, etc. It's pretty common now to not get married.

Space, is that a picture of you or of a movie star?

its exactly what you say, the person that is 'treating' you is a recent graduate. takes everything literally (but to a moronic extent in this case). Who would infer logically that you cant get married because the book says you dont seek out relationships? I've noticed that also some people treat people who have a disorder condescendingly, like they couln't think by themselves. The truth is most people here know more about aspergers and autism than most psychologists and psychiatrists out there (except for autism specialists of course).

I thought that often, Aspies can seek out others but it is difficult to do so ( felt THAT in my life, must say) and so many eventually give up. I remember even as a kid i'd really WANT to fit in and be like other kids, but I never could get it right. So usually I'd just either be on my own or find the other weird kids who didn't belong.
Getting married? Haven't done so yet--- I'm the only daughter in my family who hasn't "tied the knot", but who knows? I have found a wonderful guy ( well, he found me actually) who respects me and we get along great. Maybe ( I hope) he is the one i'll marry one day.

I think I'm going to ask her why exactly there are quite a few books on Aspie relationships and marriages, if Aspies never get married. It really pissed me off to be dismissed so quickly as if I'm a complete moron. She was so focused on my depression and anxiety. Hmm, perhaps I have depression and anxiety BECAUSE I'm an Aspie. I'm quite intelligent and I've done a ton of research on AS since I finally discovered it in February. It's the only thing that's ever truly explained my difficulties. It's obvious that she knows very little about it...probably just what's in the DSM and whatever cursory information was in her med school textbooks. I keep getting more pissed off the more I think about the situation.