How do you show love?

Post Reply New Topic

well you can really show your luff' by letting him sniff your muff'

When I care about people, I stop talking at them and start listening. I take time away from my special interests to focus on them. I do things for them.

When I'm good, I'm very good. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to gourmet cooking, etc. But interacting with other people, and doing things, really drains me unless it's a special interest (which comes naturally). I have poor executive function so all my high performance requires intense or immersive or artful bouts of effort. In between, I am absorbed in myself, my obsessions.

Because it takes so much of me, I don't do things for others very often. But when I do, it blows them away. I only do that for people I love.

My husband loves it when I do anything for him, however well or badly I do it. He just likes it when I pay attention to him.

i have not much love, but if i love someone, then i will listen to every word they say and i try hard to understand.
i try to make them feel better if they are down.

i pay lots of money to fix their debts, and i think of many creative things in their honor that i like to give them when i see them.

i like to make music about the love i feel for them and give it to them.

i let them know that i will never stand by and watch them sink.

i always let them feel a bit of the real me and they can own that part of me because no one else will ever be shown it.

i care very much for the happiness and welfare of someone i love, and i want them to be happy with or without me.
i try to help their lives with all the resources i have.

when i love someone they know it, because i am no longer the moron they thought they knew before i loved them.

but i have most love for my possums that are outside now on my veranda.
they are sweet and needing and i am compelled to try to make their darling lives a little better.

my psych once said to my mother that my concept of love would never rise above the level that a person loves a pet.

my problem with that is that i love my pets completely and i would very compulsively risk my life to prevent their death.
i need them in my life and they can somehow sense that.
i do not see how that is an inferior love to the love of fellow man.

so no matter who finds you appealling, you will always remain you, and you should be exactly how you intend to be with no modifications by fear that another drowning mind may reject you.

it is late and i feel very autistic and i fear this post is outrageous in some sense so i am going to just post it anyway and read the damage in the morning.

^
You sound like a "protector" -- a good man to have in one's life.

Your psych said you would never love someone more than a pet, but you love your pets very much.

I think your post is nice to read.

I am very much like you b9, I can show great love & affection towards my cat and other animals but im not very good at showing affection to friends and family. I care about my friends and family a great deal and would do anything for them, but I see no reason to keep repeating myself. They know I care but that I find it hard to say so.

On the other side, if I dont like someone they do know about it - I dont hide it!

hmmm... five love languages.

I am definitely not quality time, since I think reading while sitting next to each other counts as quality time. I am all for proximity being quality time.

I am definitely not gifts. Since I do not think a lack of gifts represents a lack of love. And while I like gifts, they do not represent love to me.

My husband is acts of service. But I am not that since I do not understand how dishes and scooping cat crap counts as love. Its just something you do so you have dishes to eat off of and your cat does not poop on the floor.

Definitely, definitely not physical touch. I mean I like touch sometimes. But not most of the time and I don't cuddle unless I am cold or my husband requests it. or maybe if I randomly feel like it.

I guess I could be words of affirmation. But I really only care that I am doing something right and I only like affirmation from certain people. I like practical affirmation and constructive criticism, but it is not a way I think I need to know someone loves me. I am just used to being out of sync and I need someone to tell me I am on the right track. Did I solve the problem right? am I doing this right? what could I improve?
But I do not like compliments and encouragement from strangers. And I don't really like compliments and encouragement from people I know. I only want to know if I am doing something right or if I could fix something.


So maybe I do not have a love language? or maybe there is a 6th love language for weirdos like me.

I'm not sure if I do. I know I but presents for me mum, sometimes for no reason. Like for example I went to the shop for food and saw that they were getting rid of old stock and they had a piglet pen for 45p, it had a toy cuddly piglet on top of it. Since she likes him I bought it for her.

We don't hug, or touch at all really. But then I suspect she has AS too, because we're both fine with this.

I know I've sat and listened to her telling me horrible things about her childhood, even during my childhood. and even though it's upset me and I've not wanted her to tell me. I've let her get it out.

I don't know, I'd have to ask her, because I would hate to think I'm incapable of showing love.

i never ever say i love ya to my bf, getting a hug is rare from me, a kiss even rarer, i push him away a lot of the time, but the small things he knows i care about him like, texting him randomly durin the day saying hey, or grabbing his hand to clap or jumping or climbing all over him, or flapping really hard on his back, or biting him lol, he knows are signs of affection and takes them with open arms(i think thats how that sayin goes lol). Sometimes its not what he doesnt give, it may also be stuff you just dont notice. Love isnt something thats shown in the same way, can be as simple randomly poking u in the back lol.

_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

I show love by giving hugs. :O)

i think love is logically time and imagination...spending as much time with them as you can and using your imagination as much as possible....thats the only way i can work it out anyway... i could be way off.. i dont know. i express love to my cat by doing a "mhuaha"-kiss... and hugging her and dancing at the same time... and tickling her in random ways... all sorts of stuff... i need a girlfriend hehehe

In the same way it's a friendship... Showing you care and being there when they need you. I am the type that notices the small things instead of the larger things. I can also tell alot from that too hehe