Think my husband has Aspreger

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I think you should try to write things down in a clear way instead of talking about your feelings or what you need. It's probably too much for him to process verbally and going for hours at a stretch will just be too tiring for him to ever get. Write down what you want, need, how things make you feel in stepwise fashion. Then give it to him, and go away (go shopping or out to eat with friends). Let him read it in silence and peace. Then when you get back, let him talk to you about it or write you a note in reply. It may sound silly, but you want to get your point across first and that can be much easier in written form.

Also, give him phrases of things he can say that make you happy. He wants to make you happy, he just doesn't know how. And you probably will have to understand that he may not be able to meet you half way. He is saying I love you every day in his own way, you aren't listening to him just like he isn't listening to you.

ETA: Actually change listening to UNDERSTANDING in that sentence for both instances.

This is going to sound harsh and I may be wrong or premature, we're going by your descriptions. But it sounds like a bad match. You are wanting things from him that he has never done. It's not fair.
It's not your job to change him and the more you try, the harder life will be. We are often much more animated, literate and emotional on print. To say that we should be more expressive offline is wrong.
The jokes you posted aren't offensive to me, but it's common for us to be misunderstood or to have poor delivery of humor.
I understand wanting to share stuff emotionally with your spouse but it just sounds like he's never promised that kind of relationship. Your mom crying because he didn't talk to her during a trip sounds like a massive overreaction. It does sound like you're on the opposite spectrum of emotional expression.
I was raised in an NT environment and my parents are hyper-NT (non autistic, very social, expressive and emotional). But they don't share that much together because they are old-fashioned. Dad is macho and mom is feminine. MOm has her girlfriends, girly movies and lap dog. Dad has hobbies, male friends, hunting and sports.
That said, I don't think your husband's expectations and behavior is "wrong". You just don't like it.

It would be sad if your relationship ended. But I wouldn't count on changing him. You've already expressed you're afraid of becoming like him.

mmaestro, right now just talking about really helps, this is the first time I am doing it. And I am geathering my strengh for action--I have already talked to him about it. I think I should do it litte by little.
I am trying to find a support group in NYC where we can go and meet people like him, I think it would really help

insomniakat---I tried writing already--I sent him an email describing all issues, as you can see--no result, the same response--this is who I am, deal with it, other people do.
I also tried to teach him what to say--I suggested writing compliments and warm words on the piece of paper, not even for me--for his mom. I think it is possible to train yourseld to do it and say it even if you don’t understand. But I think for him it is too hard to say it. When we are intimate in bed i ask him to say something nice, he gets all tense and stressed, very pressured. He cant get it out of him

this is what I am trying to do--to understand, because he is like an alien to me right now

Kim, yes, i know that we are a bad match, but I do love him, and he loves me. I tried leaving, it is devastating, he falls apart, starts crying, begging me to stay. And me too, I really miss him when he is not around---even for 2-3 days, I want to see him, hug him, kiss him. It is not going to be an easy break up.
So before I go this road I want to try and see if we can work it out.
I dont think he will be better off without me, neither will I. Despite all the differences there are a lot of things that I like, and it is obvious that he wants to be with me too.
Yes, he never promised me to be more open and stuff, but I cant help it--I get depressed and lonely, and for me marriage is sacrificing and trying to learn each other's differences and how to deal with them

No one is perfect. Either accept his faults and appreciate the good things about him and learn ways to cope or seek counseling to help you both communicate better with each other.

insomniak, it is not about him being not perfect--it is about me not being able to cope, and I dont think i will ever be able. Talking to me is like a drug, thats what I live for--i am only happy when I am around people. When I am alone with him--in the restaurant, in the car, movies, etc, i get in a very dark mood, i feel empty inside, i just cant help it, i cant stand silence for a long period of time. And he is the other way around-he cant stand talking. So I guess we are screwed.......

There is a point also, though, where you have to stop making excuses for him. You know, if she's suggested problems, possible solutions, investigating AS, told him what she needs, and he's refused to even try to help smooth things over, then that's not OK. That's not cool. That's being an as*hole. It may be that they're just not a good match, but whatever your problems are, you need to be willing to take steps to try and address them, fix them where possible and live with them where not. But not even acknowledging there may be an issue and telling your partner it's her problem? Not cool. Not cool at all.
You know, we none of us know for sure that he even has autism. He probably does, but he might not. It could be an entirely different problem, it could - being honest here - be an NT who's horribly passive-aggressive, manipulative, and borderline abusive. I don't think that's likely, but it is possible. And, in the end, without some professional help and attempts to address the problem, Isaura has no way to be sure which it is. That's one of the reasons the husband in question has an obligation to try and help find solutions and pinpoint the problem. Because if he won't, he's essentially saying he has no interest in fixing their marriage, and no interest in caring for his wife. Not cool. Not cool in anyone, Autist or NT.

I don't mean to be offensive or argumentative, but why does your husband have to fill this...people addiction?...for you. You mentioned you have a lot of friends. Are they not enough to fill this for you? It sounds like you contradict yourself. One point you say you want your husband to be more emotional with you, and then later you say you want him to fill this talkative need for you. And then you keep changing back and forth with it.

mmaestro, I don’t think he is a manipulative NT, I really don’t, he was like this all this life, throughout his childhood he did not have any friends and could not communicate to his peers. And I can see that he is trying, but it is painful for him, he does not understand. I really think he does not understand, it is not because he does not care, he just does not understand.

insomniak, it is not people addiction--I am just not autistic, most of the people enjoy human communication and each others company.
You don’t get the point--talking to friends is one thing, having an INTIMATE conversation with your husband is another--I feel like he is a complete stranger, I don’t know his inner world, I never know what he feels or thinks, he never communicates any of his problems to me, like if he had a hard day at work. He is my husband, you know.
it is both--not being emotional and not talking.

Guys, I looked at your videos that are clipped here, he is so similar it is almost creepy--facial expression, the look, the way he talks….but most of you guys are much more talkative then him

mmaestro, your wife is very lucky to have you!
I agree with you--both people have to work on changing in marriage--and I did change a lot for him. I used to curse all the time, now i dont, because he does not like it. When he ask me to change somethin in me, i try to do it, i want him to be happy. But right now I feel like it is all one-way, i am adjusting, changing, trying to deal with everything, but he is not even trying. I belive that if you truly love you should first of all think about your partner and how to make him/her happy.
Sometimes I get home and I am tired, but my mom wants to talk to me--about something she told me ten times and I have no interest it, but i do talk to her, i show interest and attention. I PRETEND, we often pretend to make others happy, and there is nothing wrong with it. we make an effort, if you want to, if you care for the other person, you should do it

Ah, I get it.

Tell him to go to couple counseling with you or it's over. Maybe saying it like that...an ultimatium...will help him see that it's that important to you.