I don't belive anyone with AT/AS has gotten + stayed married
I don't think I know a marriage on Earth that could last unless both people are willing to work at it. Perhaps the other has to work to understand you, but you also have to be willing to work to understand the other person. I figured that if I want to make friends, I'm just goign to have to learn to do the things that make me uncomfortable, and learn to be comfortable with them. I'm considering a relationship, and she wants to know how to deal with me being Aspie, and at the same time, I want to know how to deal with her being normal. It's an active process both parties need to commit to. Shaggy nailed it. It may be hard in a different way than others would consider hard, but it's not impossible. When it comes down to it anyways, neither of you are perfect, and you have to deal with that.
As for feeling love, I find that I don't feel it sometimes because instead I've fallen in love with an obsession, and feel like I could go the rest of my life being single. Busyness isn't always good for me. I'm solving that by limiting how much time I devote to that obsession. Part of it too is that my mind doesn't seem to process love as being something logical, and therefore doesn't want to really consider because, if it's not logical or practical (eg. not having any real survival value), why have it? Ironically, anger and sadness like to consider themselves exceptions. Over the last few days, I've been doing really well emotionally, and I just need to be able to keep it up. It's a matter of prioritizing, and that's probably more essential for an Aspie than NT (I can testify... I'm sitting here chatting when I should be studying for my Accounting comprehensive tomorrow!). Of course, I don't speak for everyone, but that helps me at least.
Age1600, I hope it all works out for you both shaggy and UQ, I'm very happy for both of you.
Long-term relationship, very happy, he's an NT, I'm not...
My grandfather was an ASer and he was married to my Grandmother for 49 years until he died...
Don't know any others yet, though I do know 3 who I strongly suspect have AS who are in long-term relationships with NTs. Bear in mind I'm 21, so not really at that marriage age just yet!!
I suspect my Grandfather was an ASer too (although he died when I was very young) and he was married to my Grandmother until he died. However, I'm not convinced she is entirely NT herself...
I also suspect my Uncle D. of being at least BAP if not an ASer and his (long-term) marriage was ended by him, not his wife. I'm not sure who ended his first (shorter) marriage, but the fact that he has gotten himself two wives to date and his leaving seems to have been regretted by the 2nd wife at least, indicates that people with AS traits can attract partners and keep them keen.
Personally, I've been in my current relationship for 9-10 years, and my previous relationship (of 4-5 years) was ended by me (not my partner).
We have a literal and consentual(as in everything is a compromise, in a good way) peer relationship and it is wonderful.
Good to hear. A person having AS or not doesn't seal the fate of the marriage, it is the personality and types of values and traits that inhabit the person (AS or NT).
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Married Aspies? |
08 Sep 2024, 3:52 pm |
How have other millennials married and had kids early? |
19 Aug 2024, 5:36 pm |
New Member - Male Married to an Aspie Woman |
18 Sep 2024, 10:47 pm |