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My theory about why we don't do small-talk

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AbleBaker
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06 Jun 2011, 1:04 am

Joe90 wrote:
Am I the only Aspie who enjoys smalltalk and actually finds it easier than full-blown conversations?
I don't mind a full-blown conversation about an actual topic.



Seph
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06 Jun 2011, 1:39 am

muffledcry wrote:
So small talk is not purposeless; it's only that small talk may seem purposeless to some people on the spectrum who may think differently about social things. From what I've read (and forgive me if this does not apply to you), many people on the spectrum enjoy games. The key to being more comfortable and more adept at small talk may be to regard it as a game. You get points for:

1. Evoking a smile,
2. Making someone laugh,
3. Acknowledging another person's communication (There are different types of acknowledgement: one let's the person know you got what they said and he or she can say more; the other let's the person know you got what he or she said so that person can move on to the next point),
4. Shifting the topic smoothly to an area of interest for all the parties engaged in the conversation,
5. Showing proper empathy (The other person is outraged, for example, so you become similarly outraged--though not to as great an extent),
6. Ending the conversation



I've actually played flash games that this reminds me of. How many points for each do you suggest?


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Cash__
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06 Jun 2011, 3:09 pm

I don't do small talk simply because I can't. I have no idea what to say. It will always and quickly end up in a quiet ackward situation.



marshall
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06 Jun 2011, 11:34 pm

I find small talk hard mainly because...

a. ) I takes a whole lot of energy to "put on" the proper cheer.

b. ) It is generally not fun or interesting.

c. ) People are boring.



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07 Jun 2011, 7:39 am

muffledcry wrote:
1. Evoking a smile,
2. Making someone laugh,
3. Acknowledging another person's communication (There are different types of acknowledgement: one let's the person know you got what they said and he or she can say more; the other let's the person know you got what he or she said so that person can move on to the next point),
4. Shifting the topic smoothly to an area of interest for all the parties engaged in the conversation,
5. Showing proper empathy (The other person is outraged, for example, so you become similarly outraged--though not to as great an extent),
6. Ending the conversation


First: thank you for the effort!

Too sad that the game is boring.

You should mention all the fake smiles/laughs that has to be returned in case somebody lost on point 1 or 2 - so that the speaker doesnt feel uncomfortable.

Summarized: smile and laugh, talk about the weather and fidget around according to the movements of the group, looking very interested. Think about shifting topic elegantly and funny instead of the topic itself and remember what you talk about!

Thats why I hate small talk the most when other aspies are watching... :lol:

I think you get most points for the laugh, and bonus points if the laugh is real, and if the laugh is extreme and you dont think its THAT funny yourself you have the jack pot, right?